Accidental Rehearsal Dinner Invite

Re: Accidental Rehearsal Dinner Invite

• missJeanLouise member

  

  April 2017

  I wouldn't uninvite them. One extra couple hopefully won't break the bank or make anything uncomfortable. I might call them and tell them what happened (so they won't feel awkward being the only parents invited) but let them know they are still welcome to come if they want.

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• ILoveBeachMusic member

  

  April 2017

  Your FI's parents are paying and said don't "uninvited" them. It is their call. Just let it go.

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• redoryx member

  

  April 2017

  The ship has sailed for you, OP, but for lurkers: this is why you send a separate rehearsal dinner invitation with its own guest list and everything. 

  

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• Lulawife member

  

  April 2017

  missJeanLouise said:

  I wouldn't uninvite them. One extra couple hopefully won't break the bank or make anything uncomfortable. I might call them and tell them what happened (so they won't feel awkward being the only parents invited) but let them know they are still welcome to come if they want.

  This is what I would do. If I were that couple, I would feel uncomfortable if I went to a rehearsal dinner thinking it was a large gathering only to discover that we were the odd man out (not immediate family or bridal party). 

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• charlotte989875 member

  

  April 2017

  Knottie1456521771 said:

  Hi All,
  
  I am in a bit of a bind and am unsure of proper etiquette:
  
  Work has required I spend most of the wedding planning process away from the U.S. and thus have had to rely on phone and e-mail for most of the planning.
  
  My mother and maid of honor graciously did all the work to stamp, line envelopes, stuff, and seal them. Included with the wedding invitation was a rehearsal dinner enclosure card for only those guests invited to the rehearsal.
  
  Before the invitations were sent out, my mother double checked that the correct individuals had the rehearsal dinner enclosure cards.
  
  Somehow, there was still a mistake and one couple (one of the groomsman's parents with the same last name) accidentally received a rehearsal dinner enclosure card. I have never met this couple and the rehearsal dinner only includes the wedding party and immediate family. The groom also doesn't know the couple very well and they don't know any of our family members.
  
  I am of the opinion to call this couple, apologize for the mistake, and explain the situation. The groom's parents are paying and they don't want to "uninvite" anyone. This family just had their daughter get married and I feel that they will understand the situation (honest mistakes happen!).
  
  What is the proper etiquette moving forward?  Are we bound to honor the mistake even though nobody is close with the couple?
  
  

  I think you should let it go. Presumably the groomsman will be there so he'll know his parents. Grooms parents are paying and hosting, and they say don't uninvite them, and that's what I'd do. 

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• climbingsingle member

  

  April 2017 edited April 2017

  Do not uninvite them. However, if I put myself in this couple's shoes, I might also think it was weird that I was included in the RD. I would personally call them, explain what happened but tell them, "Please still join us, we'd love to have you there." 

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• AddieCake member

  

  April 2017

  They are the parents of a groomsman, and neither you nor your future husband really know them?  If I were them, I'd be confused about why I was even invited to the wedding, let alone the rehearsal dinner.  I think you should call them and explain, but definitely let them know they are still invited if they should like to come. 

  What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14

  

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• MairePoppy mod

  

  April 2017

  Your fils are hosting and have told you not to uninvite them, so you should let it go. I'd be very upset if you called my guests to tell them they weren't supposed to be invited. If they do accept the invitation, you should go out of your way to make sure they feel welcome and are seated at their son's table. 

                     

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• kahluakoala member

  

  April 2017

  Lulawife said:

  missJeanLouise said:

  I wouldn't uninvite them. One extra couple hopefully won't break the bank or make anything uncomfortable. I might call them and tell them what happened (so they won't feel awkward being the only parents invited) but let them know they are still welcome to come if they want.

  This is what I would do. If I were that couple, I would feel uncomfortable if I went to a rehearsal dinner thinking it was a large gathering only to discover that we were the odd man out (not immediate family or bridal party). 

  
  I totally agree with this! If I was the parents, I would be expecting the RD to be almost a welcome party if it extended to me, and feel kinda strange if I showed up and it was immediate family and BP. I would like the heads up but let them know they're welcome, and if I were the couple I would probably be happy to get outta that one!

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• SP29 member

  

  April 2017

  I agree that I would call them up and explain, but definitely not un-invite them.
  
  This is why one should send separate invitations for separate events.
  

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