My partner and I have been together for eight years. We live together, and I’ve raised my partner’s daughter as my own since she was a year old, when her mother lost her parental rights and disappeared. I adore my stepdaughter, but her father and I have recently been having trouble. A few years ago he met a woman with two teenage daughters and some mental health issues, and they became close; I met her for the first time about a year ago. Recently I learned that both this woman and her daughters are in daily communication with my partner. They invite him over after work, ask him to run errands or take them to the doctor and chat endlessly. I am largely excluded from this relationship and have limited contact with them.
On Easter, my partner invited them to a big picnic with his extended family. It was really awkward. He flitted back and forth between us. Admittedly I am shy and struggled to find topics of conversation, but I felt very uncomfortable having them there. Afterward, I told my partner that it felt like he was trying to maintain two separate relationships. He said I was a narcissist who wanted “the sun to shine only for me” and that I was mad I wasn’t the center of attention. I am extremely hurt and really don’t know what to do. I don’t like this relationship, but he doesn’t seem responsive to my feelings. There is also the added dilemma of our daughter. If I decide to leave the relationship I probably wouldn’t be able to see her again, and that thought hurts more than anything.