So we sent out our STD with a link to our website - you can RSVP online and some people have (yah!!) But I've also received Info from 2 of my Anties to say that they can't make it. We're marrying in France where we live and my family lives in Australia. So I completely understand that no everyone will be able to accommodate the cost.
My question is do I still send them and Invitation? Sending them to Australia is expensive so.... Is that really terrible rude? Or is it strange to receive an invitation to a wedding you've declined already too?
Re: Declined to STD - Do I send an Invitation?
A STD is just a "notice" of event coming up- it does not request a response. The invitation requests a response. And you never know if they will change their minds, and it can still be nice for them to receive the invitation and know you are still thinking about them.
An invitation is not a summons, so it shouldn't look gift grabby or anything for you to send your Aunts invitations after they've said no. We lived out of province for some years and have since moved back "home". Our friends from OOT still invite us to events even though many things we cannot attend. It is still nice to know that they are thinking of us and we are included. We will send gifts for the big events (wedding/baby showers, etc), and we like to know these events are happening so we can do so (not because they expect gifts but because we WANT to give a gift).
We sent an original email in November - with it being international and all we wanted anyone in Australia to have the notice to be able to get cheaper tickets if they wanted to come. we are also having a small celebration after in Australia to celebrate with some family that are too old to travel. No a second wedding just a low key lunch.
Unfortunately, we discovered when a close friend was in Australia over Christmas that many or my friends and family there had thought we were having a full second wedding in Australia and saw no reason to com to Paris or to even think about it. I freaked out and wanted to set everyone straight. So we sent out emails with 'your invited' and a link to the website.
So it's slightly more that a STD. I think that I will just send them one anyway - it's nice and we had them specially designed so why not use them once we've got them.
I'm not going to turn off the website RSVP - many people have RSVP'd in both languages already and it's the easiest way for most. I receive a few more every few days so I think its easiest - it also has more room for me to ask about food requirements without having to put an extra card into the invitation We do have cards also just in case.
Thanks for clearing that up though.
I'm sending just the invitation to both events in one go, and now even to those who declined
However, even if they cant come its a beautiful memento and maybe they may be able to change plans