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Wedding Woes

Reporting Nurse Ratchet

Dear Prudence,
Recently I had to visit a new doctor’s office to get a physical before starting a new job, and had a horrible experience with the nurse on duty. I had to explain to her what an IUD is and that I do in fact “take it consistently” because it is in my uterus. I also had to explain the difference between not getting a period as a result of contraception and not getting a period because of early menopause.

Most egregious was a comment she made when she learned I have bipolar disorder (it’s been under control for years and I’m doing quite well). She said “You don’t look bipolar,” which I found extremely offensive and hurtful. I was not going to say anything, however, because I do get these comments from time to time, although never before from a medical professional. My friends encouraged me to speak up in case she treats other patients, who may be less well-informed or able to advocate for themselves, the way she treated me. I could not find an email address for the doctor’s office so I left a comment through the third-party booking system I used to schedule the appointment. Did I do the right thing?

—Critical Treatment

Re: Reporting Nurse Ratchet

  • Yes speak up! That's not just bad manners, but medical professionals should know there isn't "a look" for people with mental health.
    And having to explain to a nurse about IUD? Many times I've had physical it was with a nurse.
    I've had bad experience with my dr's nurse, but not enough to complain. I just know what I will book with her and what I won't. {I was accused of being bulimic because I was having stomach issues ....}

    Tbh after that comment I would have up and left, and asked to speak with someone there.

    I hope LW follows up with this and ensures it gets dealt with :\
  • Yes? I mean, LW probably could have looked a little harder for some contact information since s/he had physically been there but Yes, absolutely report it.
  • Uh, no. Call the doctor's office directly and talk to the doctor. That nurse was so far out of line (and out of date). It's a nursing responsibility to not only treat your patients with respect and dignity, but also to stay informed on medical treatments and practice. 


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  • Hell yes this should be reported.  Also, if it was for a physical for a job, it's entirely possible that this is one of those occupational health places, and maybe they're not as well versed on mental health, women's health, etc. as they should be.  Not to excuse it--they absolutely should be--but it would explain how this nurse even managed to get a job there.  If they're mostly focused on workplace injuries and random drug tests, maybe they suck at everything else.

    Anyway, I'm sure there must be a phone there, and someone in charge.  I'd go that route, vs. lodging a complaint with the third party service.  Third party likely just facilitates and has no power. 

    (This is probably unfair, but stories like this are why I'm reluctant to get anything done outside my usual doctor's office.  Oh, Target is doing flu shots?  How nice for them.  CVS can diagnose a sinus infection?  Whatever.  Not for me.)

  • Heffalump said:



    (This is probably unfair, but stories like this are why I'm reluctant to get anything done outside my usual doctor's office.  Oh, Target is doing flu shots?  How nice for them.  CVS can diagnose a sinus infection?  Whatever.  Not for me.)


    Same here.  I've had a couple bad experiences with CVS (no one harmed me, more just annoyance at how the operation works) and I hate waiting in the middle of a store to be seen while people are shopping and going about their business.  It just feels odd.  I'd only ever use it again if I were in a huge pinch.

    We are lucky that our doctor's office is 2 min away and there's a urgent care that's part of the same health org. that has really great hours (open until 8 during the week and 5 or 6 on the weekends) that's also 2 min away.  Plus, my doctor's office has Saturday hours for part of the year.   
  • Lol. I want that minute clinic life for myself. Good set hours, routine patients, and decent pay. Thanks. Haha. I love minute clinic for when I get UTIs or strep and when my doctor can't fit me in until the next day (no, my bladder is on fire and I won't wait). I've used the flu shots too at CVS. I don't have a problem getting it in front of everyone. It's just a shot. The minute clinic has its own office for patient visits though. 


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  • Call and talk to the office manager. Or write a letter and address it to the office manager. 

    Also, call your insurance company and file a complaint about the office. They are required to have a grievance procedure to mitigate exactly things like this. If a doc's office gets too many complaints within a certain time frame (varies by carrier), they can be kicked out of network. 
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  • mrsconn23 said:



    Heffalump said:




    (This is probably unfair, but stories like this are why I'm reluctant to get anything done outside my usual doctor's office.  Oh, Target is doing flu shots?  How nice for them.  CVS can diagnose a sinus infection?  Whatever.  Not for me.)




    Same here.  I've had a couple bad experiences with CVS (no one harmed me, more just annoyance at how the operation works) and I hate waiting in the middle of a store to be seen while people are shopping and going about their business.  It just feels odd.  I'd only ever use it again if I were in a huge pinch.

    We are lucky that our doctor's office is 2 min away and there's a urgent care that's part of the same health org. that has really great hours (open until 8 during the week and 5 or 6 on the weekends) that's also 2 min away.  Plus, my doctor's office has Saturday hours for part of the year.   


    Yes to all of this.  I get that some people don't have that, so I'm thankful for my doctor.  10 minutes from the office, 15 from home (and that's only because I kept them after we moved), urgent care all over the place.  And when I had shingles, I called right after the office opened at 8:00, and they got me an appointment at 10:45. 

    I think the last time I did CVS was when Wooz was a baby and H1N1 was a thing.  I hunted all over town for the vaccine because no one had it, and when an office got it, they ran out by the end of the day.  And I had new mom paranoia.  I remember standing in the greeting card aisle for like 45 minutes waiting for my turn.  It wasn't the most doctor-y experience ever, and I prefer doctor-y experiences.
  • Call the office directly and explain in detail what happened. Ask for the manager/owner to call you directly. 
  • short+sassyshort+sassy member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited May 2017

    Um...I didn't know "bipolar" had a look?  But the utter lack of knowledge the nurse had was the most appalling part (to me).  I mean, neither my education or experience has ANYTHING to do with the medical field.  Nor have I ever had an IUD.  But I know what one is.

    I think reporting it to the 3rd party booking system was pointless.  She's worried if she went too far.  I think she didn't go far enough.

    Edited to add:  I've always liked the flexibility and cheaper cost of getting a flu shot at grocery stores/drug stores.  I'd do other things like that also but, other than an urgent care clinic, flu or shingles vaccines are about all they do.

    Even better.  My current employer brings in medical personnel to give free flu shots at the office, once a year.  Usually in September, right around the beginning of the season.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Just a thought, was this a nurse or a medical assistant? No excusing her behavior, but I've never known a nurse that wouldn't know what an IUD is or who would make such a statement about being bipolar. I have had MAs act unprofessionally. I would definitely speak with someone in the office (manager or doctor) or if there is a survey sent concerning the visit register dissatisfaction on that.
  • I could see a non-psych nurse remembering the "bipolar manic phase" lecture from nursing school and making some uninformed asinine comment.  But even that's a stretch.

    Three people work at my old doctor's office.  One is a receptionist, one is a nurse, and one is the doctor.  The receptionist and the nurse are always bickering and talking shit about each other to the patients.  And the nurse will come in to take your vitals/prepare you for the exam/appointment and start talking about the patient next door. "You would never believe this guy next to you....." It is extremely unprofessional and one of the reasons I stopped seeing that doctor.  It's bad enough you bring office drama into the patient's exam room, but to mention another patient's condition? No.  And what are you saying about me when you go to the next room?  


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  • LW should do more than complain through the 3rd party website booking thing. This is unacceptable.

    I would wonder if this nurse was actually a nurse. Both the behaviour and lack of knowledge don't scream nurse ... but I have met my fair share of bad nurses.

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