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Don't know what do to about my nose

mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
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in Wedding Woes
Dear Prudence,
I’m a married 33-year-old mother of three young kids, and I think I want a nose job. I am Italian and have a very prominent nose. It never really bothered me before, but after the weight gain and loss that came with having three kids my face is gaunt and my nose is more pronounced than ever. My only hesitation is how this will make the other Italian women in my life feel. What if my daughter grows up to have the same nose as me? Will she worry that I don’t think she is beautiful? I think my sisters are absolutely gorgeous, but will this make them self-conscious or make them feel like I’m critical of their noses? Should I even be worried about these things? I really wish I had just done this in my 20s before these types of questions would occur to me, but now that I’m more mature and economically able to make this choice, I’m worried it might impact other people.

—Keep My Nose for Others?
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Re: Don't know what do to about my nose

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    bleve0821bleve0821 member
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    Well, honestly, I wouldn't worry so much about what other people think of me, my nose, or my decisions about my nose.  If my daughters asked, I would be honest with them and own my decision.

    I do get the sense that LW is so self-conscious about her own appearance that she's afraid to make any change because she doesn't really want people to know she's this insecure, so she's projecting that insecurity to others.  I don't think it's about how others, specifically adults, would feel about themselves.... and if it really is, that's such a weird thought to have, in my opinion.

    Side note: I knew a girl in HS who was super petite and had the most Italian nose I'd ever seen.  It was pretty much you look at her and all you saw was NOSE.  Her sister, on the other hand, had the same nose, but it worked because of how different their bone structures were.  This post made me think of them.


    "And when they use our atoms to make new lives, they won’t just be able to take one, they’ll have to take two, one of you and one of me..."
    --Philip Pullman

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    charlotte989875charlotte989875 member
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    If she wants a nose job go for it. But it also sounds like she hasn't actually talked to any of the women in her life about this and assuming they'll have a bad reaction. Who knows maybe they'll be super supportive. 
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    PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost member
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    I'm Italian, I have a Roman or Aquiline nose.  If I had a sister who had the same nose and she decided to get a nose job, it wouldn't bother me.  We all have individual standards of beauty.

    If LW's daughter grows up to have the same nose and dislikes it, she also can opt to get it done.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


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    MissKittyDangerMissKittyDanger member
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    I have a friend who is part Italian and broke his nose twice, so absolutely HATED/HATES his nose.

    If it weren't for the money, I'm pretty sure he would get the surgery to do it. I'm sure everyone would accept it eventually, but it's not everyone's decision to make. His sister - my bff - would likely have a harder time because it's her brother but she loves him regardless
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    OurWildKingdomOurWildKingdom member
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    MissKittyDanger said:

    I have a friend who is part Italian and broke his nose twice, so absolutely HATED/HATES his nose.

    If it weren't for the money, I'm pretty sure he would get the surgery to do it. I'm sure everyone would accept it eventually, but it's not everyone's decision to make. His sister - my bff - would likely have a harder time because it's her brother but she loves him regardless


    Might his insurance cover it if he has medical problems related to the breaks (deviated septum, etc.)?
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    MissKittyDangerMissKittyDanger member
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    OurWildKingdom said:



    MissKittyDanger said:


    I have a friend who is part Italian and broke his nose twice, so absolutely HATED/HATES his nose.

    If it weren't for the money, I'm pretty sure he would get the surgery to do it. I'm sure everyone would accept it eventually, but it's not everyone's decision to make. His sister - my bff - would likely have a harder time because it's her brother but she loves him regardless




    Might his insurance cover it if he has medical problems related to the breaks (deviated septum, etc.)?


    He saw a dr in high school about options but they couldn't see issues with breathing. Maybe by now they could retest. I should mention that to him!
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    MissKittyDangerMissKittyDanger member
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    cupcait927 said:

    I inherited my nose from my mom. We both have larger noses that we got from my grandfather. While not out of proportion with my face, I was teased about it when I was younger and have wanted a nose job for a long time. I mentioned it to my mom back when I was in college and was worried that she would be offended. She surprised me by saying that she'd get one in a heartbeat if she wasn't such a wuss when it comes to pain. LW might be surprised to find out that she may not be the only one in her family with the same feelings about their noses. 

    As an aside, I'm 100% going to get a boob job at some point in the next few years and I give zero fucks what anyone thinks. 


    You flaunt those tat tats!
    Increase or decrease?
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    cupcait927cupcait927 member
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    @MissKittyDanger  Oh I'm going bigger. I'm over being small-chested.
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    levioosalevioosa member
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    southernbelle0915 said:

    What is weight loss after having children like? *head tilt*

    Anyway, get the nose job. Whatever. As soon as I'm sure I'm done having kids, I'm getting a boob job. These tube socks have been staring at the floor ever since I finished breast feeding.


    Right? She was like "I lost all this weight and now I look gaunt."  Gaunt?  Gaunt is the word you're using for your post-partum body?  99% of women who have been pregnant would disagree with you. 


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    bleve0821bleve0821 member
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    levioosa said:



    southernbelle0915 said:


    What is weight loss after having children like? *head tilt*

    Anyway, get the nose job. Whatever. As soon as I'm sure I'm done having kids, I'm getting a boob job. These tube socks have been staring at the floor ever since I finished breast feeding.




    Right? She was like "I lost all this weight and now I look gaunt."  Gaunt?  Gaunt is the word you're using for your post-partum body?  99% of women who have been pregnant would disagree with you. 


    My mom yo-yo diets, not always intentionally ("I'm too busy to eat" kind of deal).  Her weight will fluctuate up to 30lbs several times a year.  "Gaunt" is exactly how I would describe her facial features, especially in recent years.


    "And when they use our atoms to make new lives, they won’t just be able to take one, they’ll have to take two, one of you and one of me..."
    --Philip Pullman

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    TrixieJessTrixieJess member
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    MissKittyDanger said:



    OurWildKingdom said:





    MissKittyDanger said:



    I have a friend who is part Italian and broke his nose twice, so absolutely HATED/HATES his nose.

    If it weren't for the money, I'm pretty sure he would get the surgery to do it. I'm sure everyone would accept it eventually, but it's not everyone's decision to make. His sister - my bff - would likely have a harder time because it's her brother but she loves him regardless






    Might his insurance cover it if he has medical problems related to the breaks (deviated septum, etc.)?




    He saw a dr in high school about options but they couldn't see issues with breathing. Maybe by now they could retest. I should mention that to him!


    When I had my septum fixed, it straightened my nose right out. It was awesome. Also, insurance covered it. Tell him to see an ENT. Family Docs can't diagnose issues. 
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    MissKittyDangerMissKittyDanger member
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    TrixieJess said:



    MissKittyDanger said:





    OurWildKingdom said:







    MissKittyDanger said:




    I have a friend who is part Italian and broke his nose twice, so absolutely HATED/HATES his nose.

    If it weren't for the money, I'm pretty sure he would get the surgery to do it. I'm sure everyone would accept it eventually, but it's not everyone's decision to make. His sister - my bff - would likely have a harder time because it's her brother but she loves him regardless








    Might his insurance cover it if he has medical problems related to the breaks (deviated septum, etc.)?






    He saw a dr in high school about options but they couldn't see issues with breathing. Maybe by now they could retest. I should mention that to him!




    When I had my septum fixed, it straightened my nose right out. It was awesome. Also, insurance covered it. Tell him to see an ENT. Family Docs can't diagnose issues. 


    will do! thanks! :)
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    MissKittyDangerMissKittyDanger member
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    cupcait927 said:

    @MissKittyDanger  Oh I'm going bigger. I'm over being small-chested.


    Nice! :) you flaunt them girl! ;)
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    short+sassyshort+sassy member
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    MissKittyDanger said:



    cupcait927 said:


    @MissKittyDanger  Oh I'm going bigger. I'm over being small-chested.




    Nice! :) you flaunt them girl! ;)



    Okay, all this boob talk has reminded me of one of my funniest, random conversations.

    I am naturally well endowed.  My friend and I were having a fancy girls' night out at a 4-star restaurant.  I was wearing a cute cocktail dress with some great cleavage going on.  At one point I went into the women's restroom and there was another woman in there at the sink.  She took one look at me and said, "Oh girl!  You are SO lucky!  Those are real aren't they?"  Just to make sure, I laughed and asked, "Do you mean my boobs?  Yes, they're real."  She then laments that hers cost her $5K, lol.

    One piece of advice, @cupcait927.  Maybe this is required anyway when getting an augmentation, but try out a few "sizes" and TRY ON clothes with them.  In my younger and skinnier days, I had an impossible time finding dresses because I wore two completely different sizes on my top and lower half.  Alas, nowadays, my lower half "caught up".  Not in a good way.  So it is no longer as much of an issue any more, lol. 

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