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Chit Chat
lovesclimbing
member
NWR: Too soon to complain to neighbors?
in Chit Chat
H and I just signed a one-year lease and moved into a duplex about two weeks ago, and we already have a problem with the guy who lives in the other side.
So far, at least 3-4 nights out of Sunday night through Thursday night, we can hear fairly loud noises late at night through the wall in our bedroom while we're trying to go sleep. By late at night on a weeknight, I'm talking past 10-10:30. We can hear voices, laughter and usually an incessant bass/thump/drumbeat of music or a loud movie. Last night was the worst by far with lots of all of the above plus lots of thumps and draggings. It sounded like they were rearranging all the furniture in the place last night! It went to at least 11:30, which was the last time I checked my phone before I managed to fall asleep.
When we moved in, the landlords had said they look for quiet people, and we said we weren't partiers or up super late. They also said the wall between was a double wall with soundboard. Maybe it is, but it's apparently not very good. They said the guy was a great, really nice guy. He looks to be in his 50's, so he should know better! They said he works some type of shift work where he's gone for a few weeks at a time and then home for a couple weeks, so I get that he's not on a typical 8-5 schedule.
Still, I feel it's not too much to ask that people keep the noise down after 10 on weekdays. Is it too soon to go over and ask the guy to keep it down at night? We've never had this problem before. Our last rental was a downstairs apartment with people living above. We'd hear footsteps and occasional thumps and bumps through the ceiling, but only during the day. We never heard anything at night.
It's not his only annoyance, honestly. Our doors are about five feet apart and he's a smoker although the duplex is non-smoking. So every time he steps out on the porch for a cigarette, he's literally smoking right outside our door as well as his own. Which means if we're coming or going while he's smoking or for 10-15 minutes afterward, we're smelling his disgusting smoke. But that hasn't been too bad so far, so we probably won't mention it at this point.
So far, at least 3-4 nights out of Sunday night through Thursday night, we can hear fairly loud noises late at night through the wall in our bedroom while we're trying to go sleep. By late at night on a weeknight, I'm talking past 10-10:30. We can hear voices, laughter and usually an incessant bass/thump/drumbeat of music or a loud movie. Last night was the worst by far with lots of all of the above plus lots of thumps and draggings. It sounded like they were rearranging all the furniture in the place last night! It went to at least 11:30, which was the last time I checked my phone before I managed to fall asleep.
When we moved in, the landlords had said they look for quiet people, and we said we weren't partiers or up super late. They also said the wall between was a double wall with soundboard. Maybe it is, but it's apparently not very good. They said the guy was a great, really nice guy. He looks to be in his 50's, so he should know better! They said he works some type of shift work where he's gone for a few weeks at a time and then home for a couple weeks, so I get that he's not on a typical 8-5 schedule.
Still, I feel it's not too much to ask that people keep the noise down after 10 on weekdays. Is it too soon to go over and ask the guy to keep it down at night? We've never had this problem before. Our last rental was a downstairs apartment with people living above. We'd hear footsteps and occasional thumps and bumps through the ceiling, but only during the day. We never heard anything at night.
It's not his only annoyance, honestly. Our doors are about five feet apart and he's a smoker although the duplex is non-smoking. So every time he steps out on the porch for a cigarette, he's literally smoking right outside our door as well as his own. Which means if we're coming or going while he's smoking or for 10-15 minutes afterward, we're smelling his disgusting smoke. But that hasn't been too bad so far, so we probably won't mention it at this point.
Re: NWR: Too soon to complain to neighbors?
She came over in the afternoon?! Was she a night shift employee? While looking for jobs I knew I might have to take night shifts as a new grad, and I was trying to figure out ways to help me sleep during the day (blackout curtains, sleep mask, ear plugs, etc.). But I would have never expected people to be quiet during the day. It's my schedule that would have been all wacky. It wouldn't have been their fault I worked at night and slept during the day. Luckily I found a day shift job so I don't have to worry about that anymore.
Really though, it sounds like the landlord wasn't totally honest with you (quiet people, non-smoking, etc.). Since you're only two weeks in, you COULD ask to break the lease without penalty since the situation is not as described. I would keep your complaints mostly to the smoke since that's clearly against the rules (noise level/time is debatable). Or just decide you're going to deal with it for however long the lease is. I'm sorry, it really does suck.
Double check it's them. At my first apartment we got a nasty note on our door saying we were loud, the entire hall was pissed, if we didn't keep it down they'd call cops, etc etc.
It wasn't us. It was OTHER SIDE OF THE DAMN HALL!! {at elevators you could go left or right. We were left, sounds were to the right.}
Anyways .... give it some time. Maybe see if you can talk to your neighbour? They may not realize they're keeping you up at night.
Other wise I would give it more time. You just move, it sometimes takes time to get use to new sounds. I also suggest using white noise. When things are completely quite I can hear my neighbors. Not bad, but yes I hear some bass from music or a movie. I can hear their washer and dryer running. But if I have the TV, fan or music on I can't hear anything.
That is my gauge though. If I can hear stuff over white noise then I'm going to complain.
At my old place during the day I was playing music kind-of loud while. My neighbor said something. I turned it down. No hard feelings. I didn't need the music that loud and didn't even realize until someone said something. My DH listens to movies pretty loud. I annoys me and I sometimes wonder if the neighbors are bothers by it, but they haven't said anything.
I might try something like the white noise first. But, since it seems like this is a nightly thing. As opposed to once in awhile. I would definitely speak up if the white noise doesn't help. Obviously you want to be polite and friendly about it, because it doesn't sound like anything too extreme. But asking for more quiet after 10:00PM on weekdays isn't unreasonable either.
Maybe even use it as an opportunity to express your disappointment the wall isn't as sound proof as you were expecting and ask if he is able to hear noises from your all's side. Another thought is if he could move his nightly hangout to a different part of the house that's further from your all's bedroom?
My current house is a duplex, but our side is longer and our bedroom is at the end and does not share a wall with the other side. The front rooms are both in the front of the house and, if people or the tv is loud on their side we can hear a bit of it. But, if we're in our bedroom...or even the kitchen which shares a wall but is on the opposite end...they could be having a raging party on their side and we wouldn't hear a thing.
Funny thing about noise. My current house and the last house I lived in are both 100+ years old and raised a few feet off the ground. At both places, we heard/hear the most noise through the floors, lol. Not every step or anything like that. More if a person or pets were running and it wasn't that loud, usually the pets. I think it's cute to occasionally hear the soft pitter patter of fuzzy babies.
@MissKittyDanger, there's no question it's him. This is a duplex and it's very obviously coming from his side of the wall. There are other houses and some apartments around, but nothing super close, and there's trees in between.
As for the smoking, our lease says absolutely no smoking, but as far as whether that means just inside the place, I don't know. I assumed they know he's a smoker (in my experience, a several-smokes-a-day person like he is just can't hide it no matter how hard they try) and are ok with him smoking as long as it's outside.
Yes, we are having a baby soon. H jokes that we'll get revenge on him then! But honestly, if the baby's crying at night, I would take him/her into the other bedroom, which isn't against the shared wall, to try to keep the noise down.
@short+sassy, I have no idea how the place is laid out, but it sounds like his living area is right against the bedroom wall, which seems like dumb design for a duplex.
Also, saying it's 3-4 out of every five weeknights is a conservative estimate. We typically go to bed around 10, and I would say it's probably been every night after we've been in bed except once. I suggested a white noise machine to H but neither of us like them, and it'd have to be up fairly high to block the noise.
ETA: thinking back, this level of noise and the amount/almost every night of it is worse than it ever was in the college dorms and later on-campus apartment I lived in.
Can you fix the situation on your side? Try the white noise or something similar, before vetoing the idea. Add some more soundproofing, such as cork tiles on the common wall between your apartments, if you're allowed. Ear plugs, for now, I know this won't work when you'll need to hear the baby.
@levioosa, yes I have. I lived in the dorms for a year in college as well as an apartment for two years. In the apartment, I remember a few nights of loud music where we could hear the vibration/thump of bass past 11 on week nights. But I don't remember the constant like this. I never had a problem with lots of noise in the dorms.
@scribe95, again, I guess I'm weird because to me, normal behavior is keeping the music/tv turned down late at night and listening to it at a low enough volume that you can't hear it through the walls.
Anyway, so yesterday, I stepped outside to check our plants and he was out there. My H had met him, but I hadn't. So said "hey" and he said "I hope we weren't too loud last night," and I said "yea, we could kind of hear it." And he said, "well if it's ever too loud, just bang on the door and tell us to quiet down." And I said ok, thanks. So obviously, he understands that at least Wednesday night was overly loud.
Also, last night, didn't hear a peep! He played music earlier in the evening that we could hear the thump of (and again, I don't mind during the day), but it had stopped by the time we went to bed at 10:30.
This isn't the jackwagon who kept the entire apartment complex up hearing the lyrics along with the base on the third floor while he was on the ground level and had more complaints waged against him in the first two weeks such that he was kicked out before the third (or was he arrested for a parole violation, can't remember). A lot of what was OP I tend to agree with the PP is part of life with shared walls...
Everything is relative. "Late at night" means different things to different people. My husband, who awakes at 3:30 AM, is in bed by 8-8:30 every night. Although I awake at 5:30 AM, I usually don't start making motions to go to bed until 10:30-11:00 PM.
I do think your initial inclination was reactionary. I am glad you had an opportunity to casually meet your neighbor. Most people are decent and open to reason.
I also think the issue might be one of misrepresentation from the housing manager regarding the integrity of the construction. I lived in a duplex for several years. The duplexes were set up so that the shared wall was the kitchen/family room, with the bedrooms on opposite sides. Even with both families being in the kitchen during cooking and meal time, we almost never heard our neighbors.
I used to work shifts, I would get home at late hours, I would do laundry and some light cleaning, but not anything to disturb my neighbours.
I realise that some noise is a part of apartment living, but it should abate after 10pm. That is common curtesy. If your landlord won't do anything, call your bylaw office and have an enforcement officer come by.
I agree that there is a certain amount of noise in shared living, but there is also the realization that it is shared so you can't just do what you want. We lived in an apartment for 4 years and you could hear the door to the stairwell open, people's apartment doors slam shut, water in pipes, the guy upstairs snoring (that was rough!), and if someone was moving furniture around! But I wouldn't say that it was a constant thing (day or night) to hear the television, talking or music. We also shared a house where we lived on the main with a tenant in the basement and we could only hear them talking if they were sitting under a duct.
Likewise in these living arrangements, I would also be conscious of how loud I was playing my music, and I wouldn't vacuum super late at night. Once we were watching a movie in the living room with the surround sound on- it was Superman, and during one of the action scenes there was a lot of bass going. The guy downstairs banged on the ceiling and we turned it down. Oops! Didn't realize, but no big deal, we'll be quiet. So I don't think there is any harm in saying, "Hey Neighbour, your TV is really loud right now".