I am very conflicted right now on whether to invite one of my best friends' and bridesmaids boyfriend to our wedding. I believe he is emotionally if not physically abusive but they've been together almost 2 years and I live in a different state. I don't want to ignore her relationship but I feel really uncomfortable around him. I've met him three times and each time he has had extremely loud temper tantrums in public places, yelling insults at her and other people around him and causing a scene. I have heard him call her "garbage" and a "slut" and verbally abuse her. I actually asked him to leave my house when they came to visit because he was screaming at her so abusively. At that point she told me they were breaking up but they later got back together. A month later she told one of our friends that he had shoved her so hard she fell down and then he slammed a door in her face. Somehow she is still with him and continues to defend their relationship even after all her friends and family have expressed concern.
I know it is normally unacceptable in all circumstances to not invite a bridesmaids SO but I feel like this situation is different. He is prone to emotional, drunk and abusive outburst and I feel uncomfortable being around him. What about the option of having him skip the more intimate parts like the rehearsal dinner and the ceremony but inviting him to join us at the reception (cocktail style so he can't cause as much of a scene)? That way I would acknowledge their relationship without risking as much?
I'm extremely stressed about this and worried about my friend. Any advice helps.