Wedding Etiquette Forum

Re: Is it Rude? Most etiquette questions answered in one place.

  • That was a great article!  Though I didn't quite agree with all their points.

    For example, I think a bride can wear whatever they want in their hair.  Some guests might think more ostentatious items are a little silly but, it's not their hair and it doesn't hurt anybody.  I rocked my tiara with my veil and they can suck it.

    Same with shoes, to a large extent.  They seem to forget that many people choose to have a more casual wedding.  Where "bedazzled Crocs" might fit right in.  And, for a bride with a long gown that covers her feet, she can especially wear whatever she wants.  I wore flip flops myself, but you couldn't see my shoes anyway.  With that said, at an especially formal or black tie event, it would be inappropriate for the wedding couple to wear shoes that are too casual.

    I also don't have a problem with themed/costumed weddings, as long as the couple does not force their guests to wear costumes and/or do something related to the theme.  It's also a bit of a "know your crowd" thing.  I had a coworker where her and her H were really into Renaissance fairs.  They had a group of friends who participated with them.  Their wedding had a Medieval theme.  My coworker wore a BEAUTIFUL Medieval gown she already owned and her H wore one of his Medieval costumes.  Some of their guests, the ones also into Renaissance fairs, were attired similarly, but no one was "required" to.  And, from the pics, it looked like many of the guests wore typical nice clothing.

    Some of the items I don't think are that commonly done anyway.  Like they were talking about couples having their cell phones at the altar and taking "selfies" or immediately changing their FB status.  I've never heard of that.  Even on the TK board!

    And the BM's showing their butts pics.  Heard of it only on this board, with links to pics, but not ever from a poster who's personally witnessed it.  But, yeah, wholeheartedly agree with the article.  Super tacky and gross.

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  • SP29 said:

    Agree with most of it. Sweetheart tables, which are different than head tables, aren't wrong and are a good option for having the WP sit with people they know/like. Having your Dad walk you down the aisle is VERY traditional, but not wrong and only the bride gets to decide who walks her down the aisle; though I do like the new tradition of the bride walking alone or the couple walking in together.

    However, the etiquette points brought up were spot on!


    Thanks!  I forgot that one.  I also thought that was an odd thing they pointed out.  I wouldn't want a sweetheart table for exactly the reasons they said.  But there is nothing wrong with them, if that is what a couple prefers.  And certainly the really rude thing, that wasn't pointed out, is seating a WP together instead of with their SO's.

    Same with Dad walking his daughter down the aisle.  A bride can choose whomever she wants to walk her down the aisle.  Or walk by herself.  And if the person she wants is her Dad, so be it.

    I think there are a lot of traditions in our world, weddings or otherwise, that had an ugly meaning in the start.  But, in the current day and age, people don't know or aren't thinking of the original meanings.

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  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited May 2017


    aurianna said:


    I agree with the biggies like cash bar, dollar dance, asking for money, inviting to shower and not wedding, etc. But then the rest I think they are off.
    Their reasoning for ditching sweetheart table doesn't even make any sense. You can still stare at the bride and groom at that table...

    And plenty of people like the chicken dance.




    Not women over the age of fifty with flabby arms! ;)
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    DrillSergeantCatSP29thisismynickname2OurWildKingdom
  • We had a sweetheart table and loved it! Both of us have decent sized families, and us having a sweetheart table allowed our parents to sit with their siblings and our WP got to sit with their partners. H's brother sat with cousins he doesn't see often and my sisters sat with long-time family friends. It wasn't on any kind of raised surface, so we didn't feel on display. Our dinner also wasn't super long, so maybe that helped.

    Re: the life-size bride cake. One of my friends received a VERY lifelike figurine of her & her husband as a wedding gift at her shower. It was intended to be their cake topper, but they did cupcakes & cookie cakes so they didn't have a topper. It was one of the creepiest things I've ever seen!
    short+sassySP29

  • aurianna said:

    I agree with the biggies like cash bar, dollar dance, asking for money, inviting to shower and not wedding, etc. But then the rest I think they are off.
    Their reasoning for ditching sweetheart table doesn't even make any sense. You can still stare at the bride and groom at that table...

    And plenty of people like the chicken dance.


    Plenty of people think the melody is nails on a chalkboard. 


    ahoyweddingmissJeanLouiseOurWildKingdom


  • We had a sweetheart table and loved it! Both of us have decent sized families, and us having a sweetheart table allowed our parents to sit with their siblings and our WP got to sit with their partners. H's brother sat with cousins he doesn't see often and my sisters sat with long-time family friends. It wasn't on any kind of raised surface, so we didn't feel on display. Our dinner also wasn't super long, so maybe that helped.

    Re: the life-size bride cake. One of my friends received a VERY lifelike figurine of her & her husband as a wedding gift at her shower. It was intended to be their cake topper, but they did cupcakes & cookie cakes so they didn't have a topper. It was one of the creepiest things I've ever seen!


    LMAO, omg, yes.  That was another one I don't think happens very often.  But it's about as AW as one can get.

    Ooohhh...I wonder if the person who got that gift for your friend had it custom made to look like them.  Maybe it's just me, but I think a cake topper is a weird gift to give someone.  I think of cake toppers as being really personal.  I know a lot of couples, myself included, chose a cake topper that was meaningful and/or fun for them.

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  • We had a sweetheart table and loved it! Both of us have decent sized families, and us having a sweetheart table allowed our parents to sit with their siblings and our WP got to sit with their partners. H's brother sat with cousins he doesn't see often and my sisters sat with long-time family friends. It wasn't on any kind of raised surface, so we didn't feel on display. Our dinner also wasn't super long, so maybe that helped.

    Re: the life-size bride cake. One of my friends received a VERY lifelike figurine of her & her husband as a wedding gift at her shower. It was intended to be their cake topper, but they did cupcakes & cookie cakes so they didn't have a topper. It was one of the creepiest things I've ever seen!




    LMAO, omg, yes.  That was another one I don't think happens very often.  But it's about as AW as one can get.

    Ooohhh...I wonder if the person who got that gift for your friend had it custom made to look like them.  Maybe it's just me, but I think a cake topper is a weird gift to give someone.  I think of cake toppers as being really personal.  I know a lot of couples, myself included, chose a cake topper that was meaningful and/or fun for them.



    Unless that person owns their own plastic mold-making machine, they DID custom order it! The creepy thing was the bride & groom were wearing their wedding attire, so they must have asked the bride for a picture of her dress or something? Thank goodness it was on the small side so they had it kind of hidden on their gift table at the wedding.












  • We had a sweetheart table and loved it! Both of us have decent sized families, and us having a sweetheart table allowed our parents to sit with their siblings and our WP got to sit with their partners. H's brother sat with cousins he doesn't see often and my sisters sat with long-time family friends. It wasn't on any kind of raised surface, so we didn't feel on display. Our dinner also wasn't super long, so maybe that helped.

    Re: the life-size bride cake. One of my friends received a VERY lifelike figurine of her & her husband as a wedding gift at her shower. It was intended to be their cake topper, but they did cupcakes & cookie cakes so they didn't have a topper. It was one of the creepiest things I've ever seen!






    LMAO, omg, yes.  That was another one I don't think happens very often.  But it's about as AW as one can get.

    Ooohhh...I wonder if the person who got that gift for your friend had it custom made to look like them.  Maybe it's just me, but I think a cake topper is a weird gift to give someone.  I think of cake toppers as being really personal.  I know a lot of couples, myself included, chose a cake topper that was meaningful and/or fun for them.





    Unless that person owns their own plastic mold-making machine, they DID custom order it! The creepy thing was the bride & groom were wearing their wedding attire, so they must have asked the bride for a picture of her dress or something? Thank goodness it was on the small side so they had it kind of hidden on their gift table at the wedding.

    Wow!  It's too bad it came out creepy, I think that sounds like a sweet gift.  As long as no one actually expected me to put it on my cake.

    My H worked for many years with an internet 3D-Modeling company.  They didn't make 3D-Models, but artists could upload their digital images to the site and get commissions for what were sold.

    At any rate, as technology has gotten good enough to exactly replicate what people look like, there have been a plethora of studies about that.  The interesting finding has been that people really like it as human images get closer and closer and closer to looking real.  Up to a certain point.  Once it goes past that point, it's just the opposite.  People are creeped out and don't like it.

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  • I was at a wedding once that had a cake that was supposed to look like the bride. SUPPOSED TO look like the bride. It was seriously like Dr. Evil and Mini Me, except mini me looked more like Raggedy Ann. Plus...like who is going to eat her eye? Or her boob? Just so odd. Not something I understand at all.
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    sparklepants41SP29OurWildKingdom


  • I was at a wedding once that had a cake that was supposed to look like the bride. SUPPOSED TO look like the bride. It was seriously like Dr. Evil and Mini Me, except mini me looked more like Raggedy Ann. Plus...like who is going to eat her eye? Or her boob? Just so odd. Not something I understand at all.


    Oh you know there's that one weirdo friend who would make a joke about eating the boob! ;) 
    OurWildKingdom
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    I agree with most of this list, but I'm okay with sweetheart tables.

    Had I married my ex, I would have used one because our families wouldn't be comfortable sitting together. They have opposite views on too many subjects and no common interests that I'm aware of other than me and my ex when we were together. It would make more sense to seat them at separate tables with friends and relatives of their own. 
  • Croc bedazzling? I've never seen that, and I'm glad I haven't.
    DrillSergeantCatshort+sassyOurWildKingdom
  • Things I did - and don't regret:

    - sweetheart table {it gave us time for brief privacy, just us} - we also were pretty close to the wedding party tables. No one at the time had spouses that were sat alone as well {ie; their spouses were sat with people they were friends with and/or family}

    - giving away the bride - we joked about doing something that was an inside family joke, but opted out because figured it wouldn't be as funny if you weren't in the family

    - chicken dance - okay so we didn't EXACTLY do this, but I did a conga line! This was pretty early in the dancing part, so it got people up on the dance floor :)

    - wedding shower but not the wedding - does it count that they went to the shower because they couldn't come to the wedding?
  • DrillSergeantCatDrillSergeantCat Oklahoma City, OK member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer


    Things I did - and don't regret:

    - sweetheart table {it gave us time for brief privacy, just us} - we also were pretty close to the wedding party tables. No one at the time had spouses that were sat alone as well {ie; their spouses were sat with people they were friends with and/or family}

    - giving away the bride - we joked about doing something that was an inside family joke, but opted out because figured it wouldn't be as funny if you weren't in the family

    - chicken dance - okay so we didn't EXACTLY do this, but I did a conga line! This was pretty early in the dancing part, so it got people up on the dance floor :)

    - wedding shower but not the wedding - does it count that they went to the shower because they couldn't come to the wedding?


    You invited them to the wedding, though, right?
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