My father and I are not close, and have never had a good relationship. I'm 26 years old, and my boyfriend and I are planning to get engaged (spring) and married (fall/winter) next year. My dad wants my boyfriend to ask him before proposing, but I think it's a ridiculous, antiquated and misogynistic tradition. I'm usually pretty conservative and don't mind traditional, but this tradition in particular rubs me the wrong way. I'm not sure if my boyfriend is planning to ask my dad or not, but I don't want to give him my preference because it'll put him in a tough spot between doing something that would upset me or something that would upset his future father-in-law. We're also talking about eloping. My dad said we could keep whatever portion of the wedding budget that we don't use for the ceremony, and acted fine with it, but now he's upset that he wouldn't get to "give me away," which is another tradition I don't care for.
Any ideas on how to let my father feel involved without actually involving him?