So, my fiance is Catholic (although he is agnostic now) but his father is a Catholic deacon. I'm Episcopalian and I want to get married in my church: the church my grandfather went to, and that my parents and sister were married in. The thing is, my fiance really wants his father to officiate, and I'm all for that, but it probably isn't possible due to Catholic restrictions. I also want my aunt, who is an Episcopal deacon, to also take part in the ceremony. We've decided to have it in my church (but he hasn't told his parents yet) since my parents and I both want to and my parents are paying for it, but my fiance got scared a while back when his dad asked him if we'd consider having a Catholic wedding and he told him it was possible. I, in no way, will get married in a Catholic church; at first I did consider it, but I don't really like the, forgive me, snotty attitude most Catholics have towards Episcopalians. I know their canon law even flat out says that Anglican ministers are not real ministers; they just think they are. I don't want to be married in a church that won't allow me to take communion (FYI, Episcopal churches invite everyone to partake in communion, but Catholics refuse to take it because our communion isn't real communion). I'm sorry if this got into a Catholic rant, but I love my church. My fiance's father has served in a few different churches and the current one is also, really ugly. I hate to be superficial too, but I do not want to be married in an ugly church. My church is one of the oldest parishes in the state (and although the building may not be as old as the church itself, it still is simple, beautiful, and full of amazing history). We plan on telling his parents soon, but I'm afraid it may drive a wedge in between us and his family. His older brother married a nice Catholic girl, so this will be the first instance of a non-Catholic wedding. I would love for his dad to be able to participate in our wedding ceremony, but not if it means I have to get married in a Catholic church. My grandfather is buried at our church and knowing he's close by would be comforting to me.
But, I'm not unreasonable. I want to make sure that Catholics feel welcome at our ceremony, which is why I'd like to skip communion. My parents don't like that. My sister also didn't want communion but gave into parents because my brother-in-law didn't really belong to any church, so he was welcome to take communion at our church. I'm trying very hard to include every and make some compromises, but I feel like I'm being torn apart. My parents have put their foot down about communion, but I can't possibly feel comfortable about it knowing my fiance and his entire family cannot partake. I'm trying to do the right thing, but there's no way I can compromise and make everyone happy. What should I do?