Two of the same gift?

MCmeow · June 2017

So I finally got married! It was amazingggg! Maybe I'll put a recap somewhere. Anyway I wanted to know what to do in this situation. We have a crate and barrel registry (and Amazon), guests knew what to do for the most part and when they bought a gift it was marked as fulfilled. One guest used the registry as a guide I guess and bought an item without using the registry itself. He bought it as a separate item mailed to himself and then given to us so it wasn't marked on our list as fulfilled. We just received it today and realized we have two of the same gift, ha. We should definitely exchange the gift because it's something that doesn't make sense to have two of but I wonder if he'll find out, or if it's a hurtful thing to do? If I go to crate and barrel and exchange it for another item would it even notify him? Or is it not a big deal? Anyone have this scenario happen? I don't want to seem ungrateful but I'm sure he didn't mean to get us a gift we already have.

p.s: Also what should I put in the thank you note? Should I be honest about what happened to the gift? Or thank them the same way I would with any other gift?

kwiksilver · June 2017

I got 4 crock pots at my first wedding. I re-gifted one, sold one, and gave one to my mom. I don't think it's rude. I don't think they would notify him in any event. Even if they did you can always just explain that you got 2. Most people understand, especially if it's a genric item from your registry, and not something unique they specifically picked out themselves just for you.

ILoveBeachMusic · June 2017

No they won't notify him. This is really not a big deal. You don't mention that you exchanged it when you write the thank you note. This is a frequent occurrence so no big deal. If he asks at sometime in the future you could tell him that you exchanged it and tell him what you got to replace it. I'm sure he will understand.

MCmeow · June 2017

Ah got it. I'm the first of my friends to get married so I wasn't sure how people would react to certain things. Since regifting and exchanging seems insensitive in other situations (like birthdays), but it makes sense since these are registry things we selected anyway.

charlotte989875 · June 2017

Totally fine. Just make sure when you return that they give you store credit rather than refunding to the original payment (Target tried to do that when we had to return something).

STARMOON44 · June 2017

Thank him for the gift he gave, do not tell him what you did with it.

[Deleted User] · June 2017

MCmeow said:

So I finally got married! It was amazingggg! Maybe I'll put a recap somewhere. Anyway I wanted to know what to do in this situation. We have a crate and barrel registry (and Amazon), guests knew what to do for the most part and when they bought a gift it was marked as fulfilled. One guest used the registry as a guide I guess and bought an item without using the registry itself. He bought it as a separate item mailed to himself and then given to us so it wasn't marked on our list as fulfilled. We just received it today and realized we have two of the same gift, ha. We should definitely exchange the gift because it's something that doesn't make sense to have two of but I wonder if he'll find out, or if it's a hurtful thing to do? If I go to crate and barrel and exchange it for another item would it even notify him? Or is it not a big deal? Anyone have this scenario happen? I don't want to seem ungrateful but I'm sure he didn't mean to get us a gift we already have.

p.s: Also what should I put in the thank you note? Should I be honest about what happened to the gift? Or thank them the same way I would with any other gift?

You got the gift he gave you. You're keeping one of the versions of the gift he gave you. If he asks you about the gift, you still have it. Unless he signed the bottom before giving it to you, he'll never know that you got two. If you REALLY feel bad, return the "other" one. See, it matters not at all.

sparklepants41 · June 2017

Agree with PPs - you can just return one, but thank the person without telling them you exchanged it.
"Dear Mr. Wendell,
Thank you so much for the extra capacity waffle iron! We love waffles and look forward to many years of homemade yummy breakfasts!"

SP29 · June 2017

Agreed, return ONE of the doubles. Neither guest has to know which *one* you returned. Thank both for the gift they gave.

The store will not notify anyone if you return an item- items get returned all the time for various reasons.

The transaction of a gift is the giver sees something they think you would like, wrap it, give it, you open it, express pleasure at receiving said gift/send thank you note, and the giver feels happy that you enjoyed the gift. What you do with said gift after is up to you- you are free to keep it, toss it, sell it, re-gift it or return it.

ILoveBeachMusic · June 2017

lucyfrankgethitched22 said:

If you have time I would switched and go to myregistry.com this will allow you to add both of these registry and will give you great promos for both places and other stores. This allows them to sync to your registry to not allow this to happen. This would not happen if you myregistry and you would not allow this to happen. I love using myregistry and many of my friends use this one. I would send one back to one of the registry.

It might be helpful if you read the OP. She is already married and has received gifts so registering with myregistry won't help.

ahoywedding · June 2017

Totally fine to exchange one! We registered for a couple duplicates at different stores (so guests could shop wherever had better coupons) and ended up exchanging a few thing. Most stores will give you store credit if you mention it came from a registry, but yes, just make sure they don't refund the original method of payment! (Also odd..Williams Sonoma couldn't fully process returns in the store if the item was bought online and we had to wait for a gift card to be mailed.) Most stores that do registries (or Amazon) are super great about exchanges.

lovesclimbing · June 2017

ILoveBeachMusic said:

show previous quotes

lucyfrankgethitched22 said:

If you have time I would switched and go to myregistry.com this will allow you to add both of these registry and will give you great promos for both places and other stores. This allows them to sync to your registry to not allow this to happen. This would not happen if you myregistry and you would not allow this to happen. I love using myregistry and many of my friends use this one. I would send one back to one of the registry.

It might be helpful if you read the OP. She is already married and has received gifts so registering with myregistry won't help.

Additionally, this would not help with the problem she has. The issue is someone used the registry as a guide so the item was not marked as purchased, not that her registries don't sync. That issue could happen with any type of registry.

ETA: #didntread

Two of the same gift?

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