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Struggling...

kidlets2kidlets2
100 Comments
in Minnesota-Minneapolis and St. Paul
FI and I decided that a small wedding was best for us. As we're getting farther into planning mode, we're starting to get overwhelmed and feeling like even what we have in mind is too much. The thought of spending all this money on 1 day is daunting. There is so many other things that we would like to do and we're both bringing children into this marriage.

He's already had the big wedding and mine was a surprise courthouse wedding with nothing planned afterwards. I really don't like being the center of attention but I feel like I'm missing out if I don't do something more. Problem is, something more may be too much for me & us.

We had a heart to heart about it last night and brought up the possibility of doing a courthouse wedding, leaving for a few days by ourselves as a mini moon, coming back and taking all the kids to WI Dells. Then having a backyard BBQ with family and close friends at our house with nothing really wedding related - no dance, no cake cutting, no presentations, toasts, speeches, etc. This all sounds great to me, but I can't escape this sinking feeling that I'm somehow shorting myself of great memories.

Not sure what I'm looking for from you guys...just an exasperated post...
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Re: Struggling...

  • EmilyW416EmilyW416 member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011

    Maybe if you don't want to be the center of attention thats a good idea for you two? I think its sweet, the wedding in the long run doen't matter as much the marriage.

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  • tpender13tpender13 member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I'm sorry you're having a tough time w/this. We *sort of* thought the same thing in the fact that we had a small wedding in comparison to how large our families are. No flowers, his cousin as a photographer, cheesecakes instead of wedding cake... I think that what you and your FI are thinking of doing sounds great, and something that will still give you fantastic memories. You'll still have that moment when you see each other for the first time before the ceremony, you'll still exchange vows, you'll still get to celebrate with family and friends afterwards. Though our wedding was more of a traditional setup, those three things were the best parts of the whole wedding, for both of us. It doesn't sound like you'll be cheating yourself of anything.


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  • FutureMrsS13FutureMrsS13 member
    Third Anniversary 100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I understand your thoughts.. good news u have plently of time to decided.
     If you want it just to be you guys..  thats great or a very small wedding.. maybe in a garden or back yard? and have all family there? that be special still and family would be there without spending an arm and a leg!

      just another thought id throw out there..
     best of luck what you decide :)
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  • nordkenordke member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I think that sounds like a great idea. In all honesty, as much as I loved my wedding day, it was all a blur, and knowing how much is cost, and that I really don't recall a whole a lot about it except the most important part of the vows, I kind of wished we also hadn't spent so much money on one day.  I think there's many ways that you can have that special wedding feeling with still keeping it small and inexpensive. Good luck!
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