No, I don't need a damn wedding planner!

divarhd · July 2017

I freaking need my FI to not wait two months and 50 reminders to get me addresses for his family, friends and coworkers on the invite list so I can get my save the dates addressed and mailed while I'm off work for 2 weeks. Seriously?! TWO MONTHS! 20 addresses. And he suggested we get a wedding planner so I don't have to do everything myself after I flipped out. Which of course made me flip out again.

Apologies. I wasn't going to be able to sleep until I got that out. Everything is fine, I just had a moment.

missJeanLouise · July 2017

Even if you got a wedding planner he would still have to provided the names and addresses of those he wants invited.
Sorry he isn't being more helpful. Some things were easy, some it was like pulling teeth getting DH involved.

CMGragain · July 2017

Call FMIL. She'll fix him!

Heffalump · July 2017

missJeanLouise said:

Even if you got a wedding planner he would still have to provided the names and addresses of those he wants invited.
Sorry he isn't being more helpful. Some things were easy, some it was like pulling teeth getting DH involved.

Exactly this. If he wants to avoid having to cough up their addresses, maybe he doesn't need a planner, maybe he needs a psychic.

FWIW, I told DH to pony up addresses for whomever he wanted to invite, and if I didn't get them, then they didn't get STDs/invites. The end. Because I don't have psychic powers.

southernbelle0915 · July 2017

I wouldn't probably do something unreasonable and ridiculous like take all of his underwear (clean and dirty) and hoist it up into a tree with a padlock on the rope and a note that says "the marriage fairy will magically unlock this padlock when you provide your side's addresses."

divarhd · July 2017

CMGragain said:

Call FMIL. She'll fix him!

FMIL doesn't like me. Hence, he had to get them from her. Once he finally sent the list to her (in spreadsheet form, as I am a totally anal retentive and organized Judicial Assistant

) it came back to me 2 weeks later (she's retired) with 4 of the addresses being her own. One of his brothers because she doesn't want his new gf/FI to see the STD/invite, said brothers ex wife and a family friend. Why the family friend, I have no clue. Little doesn't FMIL know, I found brothers address in my GPS since we went there for his daughters bday party, and FI called the ex wife for hers (they are on very good terms and she's lovely). I just don't feel comfortable sending all those invites to her, frankly, I don't trust her.

charlotte989875 · July 2017

The wedding planner certainly isn't going to know the names and addresses of his family members better than he will.

divarhd · July 2017

Heffalump said:

missJeanLouise said:

Even if you got a wedding planner he would still have to provided the names and addresses of those he wants invited.
Sorry he isn't being more helpful. Some things were easy, some it was like pulling teeth getting DH involved.

Exactly this. If he wants to avoid having to cough up their addresses, maybe he doesn't need a planner, maybe he needs a psychic.

FWIW, I told DH to pony up addresses for whomever he wanted to invite, and if I didn't get them, then they didn't get STDs/invites. The end. Because I don't have psychic powers.

IDK, it was just the WAY it came out from him. Maybe YOU should get a wedding planner so YOU don't have to do everything yourself. It's stressing you out. SMH. Once I got all the screamies out I calmly said "If you could PLEASE do these things that I ask you to do for OUR wedding in a more timely manner, I wouldn't get so stressed."

banana468 · July 2017

divarhd said:

Heffalump said:

missJeanLouise said:

Even if you got a wedding planner he would still have to provided the names and addresses of those he wants invited.
Sorry he isn't being more helpful. Some things were easy, some it was like pulling teeth getting DH involved.

Exactly this. If he wants to avoid having to cough up their addresses, maybe he doesn't need a planner, maybe he needs a psychic.

FWIW, I told DH to pony up addresses for whomever he wanted to invite, and if I didn't get them, then they didn't get STDs/invites. The end. Because I don't have psychic powers.

IDK, it was just the WAY it came out from him. Maybe YOU should get a wedding planner so YOU don't have to do everything yourself. It's stressing you out. SMH. Once I got all the screamies out I calmly said "If you could PLEASE do these things that I ask you to do for OUR wedding in a more timely manner, I wouldn't get so stressed."

That would escalate me to yelling.

"No asshole. Wedding planning isn't stressing me out. You doing nothing after I asked you to do SOMETHING is what's stressing me out. If you want me to have a lower stress level turn on your listening ears and stop waiting for someone else to adult for you."

divarhd · July 2017

banana468 said:

divarhd said:

Heffalump said:

missJeanLouise said:

Even if you got a wedding planner he would still have to provided the names and addresses of those he wants invited.
Sorry he isn't being more helpful. Some things were easy, some it was like pulling teeth getting DH involved.

Exactly this. If he wants to avoid having to cough up their addresses, maybe he doesn't need a planner, maybe he needs a psychic.

FWIW, I told DH to pony up addresses for whomever he wanted to invite, and if I didn't get them, then they didn't get STDs/invites. The end. Because I don't have psychic powers.

IDK, it was just the WAY it came out from him. Maybe YOU should get a wedding planner so YOU don't have to do everything yourself. It's stressing you out. SMH. Once I got all the screamies out I calmly said "If you could PLEASE do these things that I ask you to do for OUR wedding in a more timely manner, I wouldn't get so stressed."

That would escalate me to yelling.

"No asshole. Wedding planning isn't stressing me out. You doing nothing after I asked you to do SOMETHING is what's stressing me out. If you want me to have a lower stress level turn on your listening ears and stop waiting for someone else to adult for you."

A. I kinda love you, cause that sounded EXACTLY like something I'd say!!!
2. That's pretty much what the screamies were.

apollymi · July 2017

Haha this is funny, FI and I just had a convo about invites and getting addresses last night. I mentioned it to him and he's like.. cant we just email everyone?

I laughed hard at that one. First off, we're not emailing our wedding invitations, and second, you'd have to ASK everyone their email addresses anyways. Why not just get their physical address while you're at it?

Flawed plan FI, flawed plan.

missfrodo · July 2017

divarhd said:

CMGragain said:

Call FMIL. She'll fix him!

FMIL doesn't like me. Hence, he had to get them from her. Once he finally sent the list to her (in spreadsheet form, as I am a totally anal retentive and organized Judicial Assistant ) it came back to me 2 weeks later (she's retired) with 4 of the addresses being her own. One of his brothers because she doesn't want his new gf/FI to see the STD/invite, said brothers ex wife and a family friend. Why the family friend, I have no clue. Little doesn't FMIL know, I found brothers address in my GPS since we went there for his daughters bday party, and FI called the ex wife for hers (they are on very good terms and she's lovely). I just don't feel comfortable sending all those invites to her, frankly, I don't trust her.

This sounds fun. She sounds like the kind of person who also might end up self-inviting others through her own invite, so I'd make sure she doesn't get one too early. If she's going to restrict family that FI wants there, why not add on friends that he doesn't want? Just a thought. Glad he finally got in contact with his people!

No, I don't need a damn wedding planner!

Re: No, I don't need a damn wedding planner!

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