Wedding Etiquette Forum

Invite Question

My grandfather's wife has caused a lot of family drama in the past to the point where I have not seen her in over 13 years. I see my grandfather multiple times a year and he knows to not bring her around because she has caused a lot of problems within the family. She has said horrible nasty things about my mom, me, my sister, my great grandma, to basically anyone who would listen. Is it okay to not invite her because of this? 

Re: Invite Question

  • It wouldn't be any different if she didn't come. Not only I have not seen her in over 13 years, neither has the rest of my family. I also worry about seating them because it's not just me who can't stand her but, my great grandma, his own brother and sister, and their families. None of my cousins have even met her despite them living only 15 minutes away. 
  • It wouldn't be any different if she didn't come. Not only I have not seen her in over 13 years, neither has the rest of my family. I also worry about seating them because it's not just me who can't stand her but, my great grandma, his own brother and sister, and their families. None of my cousins have even met her despite them living only 15 minutes away. 
    You are still required to invite her.  ALL spouses/significant others/partners/etc must be invited.  It's likely that she won't attend, and if she does, sit them with the people most capable of being tolerant/friendly for the evening.
  • ei34ei34 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited July 2017
    You have to invite her.  Maybe she won't come?  It sounds like she doesn't see your family much.  If she does show up, it shouldn't ruin anyone's time.  (No one will physically be in harm, right?)  I've attended plenty of weddings where there was a guest I found rude and difficult, but it was NBD.

    edited grammar 
  • Unfortunately, there's no way she can be excluded from any invitation to your grandfather.

    Hopefully, he will not bring her, in keeping with his normal procedure. But if she does come, she needs to be treated with respect. You don't have to spend much time with her, but neither can she be ignored.

    If you think she wii cause drama with rudeness to you or anyone else present, I'd have security on hand to escort her away.
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