What to do about the office milk thief?

mrsconn23 · July 2017

Dear Prudence,
I recently returned to my job at a large company after maternity leave. I share two lactation rooms with several other women and store my milk in the minifridge there during the day. A while back I noticed that the milk I pumped and recorded didn’t add up at the end of the day by roughly an ounce. It happened a total of three times over about two months. I finally said something to another nursing mom who had the same experience and thought she was going crazy too. We went to HR, which took our complaint very seriously, and the other women pumping verified they had similar experiences. HR added a secure keycard entry to the doors in addition to the lock on the inside. HR also started monitoring the room and discovered a man trying to get in (but he couldn’t because he didn’t have the right keycard). They questioned him but couldn’t pin anything on him.

I am struggling not to be creeped out that some weirdo was stealing milk I pumped for my baby for who knows for how long. HR can’t tell us who it was, or punish him, because he wasn’t caught doing anything. The room feels secure, but I’m struggling to relax enough to pump effectively, as he’s probably still nearby. (There are around 700 people working here.) How do I get over it, knowing he still works here and I may never know who he is?

—Pumping Mom

charlotte989875 · July 2017

So not where I thought that was going. And so effing creepy. Can you ask a co-worker (or other pumping woman) to casually walk by when you're in there just to make sure no one is hanging around? At least that might ease nerves enough to do what you need to.

mrsconn23 · July 2017

Honestly? I'd be getting a really good cooler bag, bring several ice packs to work, and keeping my milk at my desk. The last thing I'd do is continue to put it in a place that is accessed publicly.

apollymi · July 2017

This is SO creepy. Agree Charlotte, totally didn't expect it to go this way when I read the title lol.

It's nice that the company has added the key card security measure, and if there's been no incidents since then, I think they could rest easy knowing this has stopped the creep. I can understand how it'd take a while to get comfortable again though.

DrillSergeantCat · July 2017

It sounds like the problem is fixed. Take your phone with you, play Candy Crush or do something to keep your mind off of it. Remember, you wouldn't like it if you were merely suspected of doing something and HR told everyone about it.

short+sassy · July 2017

I like the ideas of keeping her milk in a good cooler, since this is still bothering her. Since it sounds like HR resolved the matter, she might feel more comfortable with time.

I thought this letter was going to be more in line with what kept happening to my coworker. She'd buy Hazelnut Coffeemate. Put it in the fridge in the break room. With her name on it. And unknown people would continually use it. So she got a mini fridge for her office, lol. Such a tame story compared to this one!

charlotte989875 · July 2017

short+sassy said:

I like the ideas of keeping her milk in a good cooler, since this is still bothering her. Since it sounds like HR resolved the matter, she might feel more comfortable with time.
I thought this letter was going to be more in line with what kept happening to my coworker. She'd buy Hazelnut Coffeemate. Put it in the fridge in the break room. With her name on it. And unknown people would continually use it. So she got a mini fridge for her office, lol. Such a tame story compared to this one!

This is totally where I thought the story was going.

southernbelle0915 · July 2017

I think it's MUCH more likely that one of the other women was topping off her bottles than some male employee going into the lactation room (that's risky to do multiple times without someone seeing you) and stealing breast milk.

So HR interviews all the lactating women....If HR comes to you (and you're the milk thief) and is like "other women have been experiencing stolen milk, have you too?" you're going to say "oh yes, I HAVE had milk stolen, so awful!" And then when HR ensures only those women have access, you're going to realize if you keep doing it, you'll be caught, so you stop.

That's my theory anyway.

MissKittyDanger · July 2017

That took a creepy turn ....

Sounds like HR solved it, but tbh I would keep a closer eye on the stuff in the off chance weirdo gets in again.

levioosa · July 2017

@mrsconn23 that was my thought too.

OliveOilsMom · July 2017

That is so creepy. My pump had its own cooler bag - it was the reason I bought that particular one, but I was provided with my own mini-fridge. So I used to put the cooler bag, unzipped in the fridge!

I made it, but my milk was just so weird to me! I could never imagine even taking another person's milk!

Has anyone seen the, hopefully false, story posted to sanctimommy on fb? Apparently a mom was making brownies and ran out of milk, so she just used her bm! So she was asking why people were so horrified when others found out. I don't think its true because you don't put milk in brownies, but still.

DrillSergeantCat · July 2017

OliveOilsMom said:

That is so creepy. My pump had its own cooler bag - it was the reason I bought that particular one, but I was provided with my own mini-fridge. So I used to put the cooler bag, unzipped in the fridge!
I made it, but my milk was just so weird to me! I could never imagine even taking another person's milk!
Has anyone seen the, hopefully false, story posted to sanctimommy on fb? Apparently a mom was making brownies and ran out of milk, so she just used her bm! So she was asking why people were so horrified when others found out. I don't think its true because you don't put milk in brownies, but still.

I saw that (can't avoid it right now) and I think it's fake. If it's not, though, why would you tell anyone that there's BM in there?

MissKittyDanger · July 2017

OliveOilsMom said:

That is so creepy. My pump had its own cooler bag - it was the reason I bought that particular one, but I was provided with my own mini-fridge. So I used to put the cooler bag, unzipped in the fridge!
I made it, but my milk was just so weird to me! I could never imagine even taking another person's milk!
Has anyone seen the, hopefully false, story posted to sanctimommy on fb? Apparently a mom was making brownies and ran out of milk, so she just used her bm! So she was asking why people were so horrified when others found out. I don't think its true because you don't put milk in brownies, but still.

I heard about this - maybe not this story specifically but a similar one - but seriously dumb question .... what is the likelihood of being able to use BM in anything?

short+sassy · July 2017

MissKittyDanger said:

OliveOilsMom said:

That is so creepy. My pump had its own cooler bag - it was the reason I bought that particular one, but I was provided with my own mini-fridge. So I used to put the cooler bag, unzipped in the fridge!
I made it, but my milk was just so weird to me! I could never imagine even taking another person's milk!
Has anyone seen the, hopefully false, story posted to sanctimommy on fb? Apparently a mom was making brownies and ran out of milk, so she just used her bm! So she was asking why people were so horrified when others found out. I don't think its true because you don't put milk in brownies, but still.

I heard about this - maybe not this story specifically but a similar one - but seriously dumb question .... what is the likelihood of being able to use BM in anything?

True! I've heard it doesn't react in cooking/baking or have the same taste that cow's milk does. So it's not a good substitute anyway.

I'd swear I read a weird article sometime in the past about a lady who created recipes, where human breast milk was one of the ingredients. She took into consideration the differences between that and cow's milk.

kvruns · July 2017

Definitely not what I thought this was either. My first thought was that another mom was stealing a little from the other bottles, not that some random guy was going in there.

it's weird AF but I don't think I would be so creeped out by it that it would affect my pumping. I'd be pissed about someone taking it though. If I felt the integrity of it was in question I'd keep it in my own cooler at my desk and not have it in an accessible spot.

DrillSergeantCat · July 2017

short+sassy said:

MissKittyDanger said:

OliveOilsMom said:

That is so creepy. My pump had its own cooler bag - it was the reason I bought that particular one, but I was provided with my own mini-fridge. So I used to put the cooler bag, unzipped in the fridge!
I made it, but my milk was just so weird to me! I could never imagine even taking another person's milk!
Has anyone seen the, hopefully false, story posted to sanctimommy on fb? Apparently a mom was making brownies and ran out of milk, so she just used her bm! So she was asking why people were so horrified when others found out. I don't think its true because you don't put milk in brownies, but still.

I heard about this - maybe not this story specifically but a similar one - but seriously dumb question .... what is the likelihood of being able to use BM in anything?

True! I've heard it doesn't react in cooking/baking or have the same taste that cow's milk does. So it's not a good substitute anyway.
I'd swear I read a weird article sometime in the past about a lady who created recipes, where human breast milk was one of the ingredients. She took into consideration the differences between that and cow's milk.

Mine tastes like the milk left at the bottom of the cereal bowl. I know you can bake with it, but I've never tried. I don't make enough as it is to be cooking with it.

OliveOilsMom · July 2017

Yes, there is a big difference between cow and human milk. Human looks like fat free cow's milk. And because its not pasteurized, the cream will separate out of human's milk very easily.

I have also heard it is sweeter than cow milk! I know that DD would always give me a little head shake and her eyes would light up when she had my milk compared to formula. So even babies know the difference between the two!

kaos16 · July 2017

short+sassy said:

I like the ideas of keeping her milk in a good cooler, since this is still bothering her. Since it sounds like HR resolved the matter, she might feel more comfortable with time.
I thought this letter was going to be more in line with what kept happening to my coworker. She'd buy Hazelnut Coffeemate. Put it in the fridge in the break room. With her name on it. And unknown people would continually use it. So she got a mini fridge for her office, lol. Such a tame story compared to this one!

I have my store bought cow's milk in my personal fridge in my office that I don't share and it still gets stolen!! Stuff gets taken all the time from my office, usually snacks or papergoods. You'd think lawyers would be more trustworthy

kvruns · July 2017

Interesting on the sweeter thing, I hadn't heard that. I do know that some milk, especially after being frozen, can have a soapy smell/taste (high lipase).

short+sassy · July 2017

kaos16 said:

short+sassy said:

I like the ideas of keeping her milk in a good cooler, since this is still bothering her. Since it sounds like HR resolved the matter, she might feel more comfortable with time.
I thought this letter was going to be more in line with what kept happening to my coworker. She'd buy Hazelnut Coffeemate. Put it in the fridge in the break room. With her name on it. And unknown people would continually use it. So she got a mini fridge for her office, lol. Such a tame story compared to this one!

I have my store bought cow's milk in my personal fridge in my office that I don't share and it still gets stolen!! Stuff gets taken all the time from my office, usually snacks or papergoods. You'd think lawyers would be more trustworthy

Interesting! There are a lot of people who have mini fridges in their offices at my work. But no one roots around anyone's desk drawers or mini fridges. And if someone got caught doing that, there would be disciplinary actions if the aggrieved party chose to report it.

This is actually pretty funny. I used to share an office with another coworker. He had a mini fridge by his desk. I never used it, even to put my own things in it. Because it was his mini fridge and his things. Then he left about one year ago and sold his mini fridge to another coworker. The office is now just MINE. But I still don't put things in the mini fridge, much less take anything! That other coworker swings by to visit a few times a day to put stuff in/out of the fridge that lives in my office, lol.

ei34 · July 2017

I was also thinking more that another mom was topping her own off. So strange. I used a really good freezer bag when I pumped, because I didn't feel like going in and out of the faculty room...never because I was worried about it being stolen. Poor LW.

Ha I saw that sanctimommy brownie story. Bizarre. I couldn't have imagined subbing my pumped milk in any recipes, I barely had any to spare (especially with the twins). Although my first thought had been- what brownie recipe even calls for milk??! (Not counting if you're making a chocolate frosting to spread over them.)

banana468 · July 2017

Aaaaaand now I'm glad I always kept my pumped milk in a bag with an ice pack.

It's definitely sweeter than cow's milk and has a decently high fat content.

My honest thought:
-another female coworker was topping off her take home stash.
-lazy male coworker wanted a private room to nap.

southernbelle0915 · July 2017

On the sweeter thing, it is definitely sweeter. When I first started pumping and freezing, I tasted it a few times to make sure I wasn't one of those high lipase people (makes the milk taste spoiled).

I've heard of high performance athletes trying to buy it because of its nutritional density/value. I mean, you do you, but I don't know that I'd be trying to have a post-workout protein shake with breast milk from a stranger.

flantastic · July 2017

southernbelle0915 said:

On the sweeter thing, it is definitely sweeter. When I first started pumping and freezing, I tasted it a few times to make sure I wasn't one of those high lipase people (makes the milk taste spoiled).

I've heard of high performance athletes trying to buy it because of its nutritional density/value. I mean, you do you, but I don't know that I'd be trying to have a post-workout protein shake with breast milk from a stranger.

Yeah, bodybuilders are supposedly all about that, because gains. Babies get gains.

I really think it had to be one of the other moms, though. That said, I'm also really glad that I have an office with a door to pump in and don't have to deal with possible intrusions (whether from would-be milk thieves or would-be loungers/nappers).

*Barbie* · July 2017

i assumed it was another mom, too.

our nursing room has badge access, a fridge, pump storage space, and 2 curtained off stalls with a comfy chair and tray table. only negative was that there was no way to book the room, so you might show up and there were people using both stalls - then you had to wait or come back later. they're in the process of expanding our health center, and i believe the lactation room was part of the reno - so hopefully they add additional facilities.

now that she knows it's badge access only, she could also get a zippered cooler bag and padlock it for additional sense of security.

What to do about the office milk thief?

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