Wedding Etiquette Forum

Advice Needed!

Hi! I'm planning a wedding for next year and wanted some advice from current brides and brides that have already thrown their wedding. My fiance is highly involved in the decisions but thought outside help would be nice too.

1) what could I included in the gift bags for my wedding guests at the end of the night? My FH & I are thinking about making our own wine to include either for the guests that book hotels or for all guests- not sure which route.

2) Would it be tacky or tasteless if I included the business cards of the vendors that we worked with?

3) our ceremony and reception is about 20 minutes away from each other and my party and us are going to do pictures after the ceremony so what are some activities I guess you could call them, that our guests could do during cocktail hour (drinks/food provided) before we arrived to the reception? We've got a few interactive ideas, photo booth/words of wisdom box/canvas to sign instead of a guest book/ date jar but don't know if that would fill the time enough and want more ideas, in addition to the hotel being walking distant from the reception site.

I think that's all I can think of now. Thanks in advance for the responses!

Re: Advice Needed!

  • ei34ei34 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Hi! I'm planning a wedding for next year and wanted some advice from current brides and brides that have already thrown their wedding. My fiance is highly involved in the decisions but thought outside help would be nice too.

    1) what could I included in the gift bags for my wedding guests at the end of the night? My FH & I are thinking about making our own wine to include either for the guests that book hotels or for all guests- not sure which route.

    2) Would it be tacky or tasteless if I included the business cards of the vendors that we worked with?

    3) our ceremony and reception is about 20 minutes away from each other and my party and us are going to do pictures after the ceremony so what are some activities I guess you could call them, that our guests could do during cocktail hour (drinks/food provided) before we arrived to the reception? We've got a few interactive ideas, photo booth/words of wisdom box/canvas to sign instead of a guest book/ date jar but don't know if that would fill the time enough and want more ideas, in addition to the hotel being walking distant from the reception site.

    I think that's all I can think of now. Thanks in advance for the responses!
    Water bottles, a couple of snacks and Tylenol is good for hotel welcome bags.  Ditto banana maybe a brochure or description of the area's offerings if there are OOT guests.

    A handful of my wedding guests asked me about my vendors.  Provide info as it's requested.  

    Food and drinks are more than enough for cocktail hour.  
  • I agree with PPs. Keep the welcome bags simple. No vendor cards. 

    Food and drink are plenty for cocktail hour. People will want to mingle and catch up with people they haven't seen in a while. A guest book, of course, is kind of expected so that is fine.
  • 1. It's essentially a favor because it's being given out at the end of the night, so I think everyone should get one. You could always just do the wine and skip the gift bag. If you do the bag, I'd add in a snack or two of some sort. That's all I can think of.

    2. I wouldn't. I doubt very many people will care and those that do can ask. 

    3. What you have is plenty. An hour is not very long and people can chat and eat and hang out. With that much stuff, I doubt you'll even have everyone getting to everything. 
  • 1) Skip gift bags and favors and put that money towards upgrading drinks, adding apps, more food options, dessert bar, etc 

    See where I'm going with this?

    As a guest, what makes a wedding awesome for me is the food, drinks, and music.

    If you're going to have a photo booth, the film strips are your guests' favors.

    2) Not tacky but not necessary.  If someone wants to know who your DJ was, they'll ask you directly.

    3) cocktails and appetizers are the only activities I need during cocktail hour.  A photo booth is a bonus.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited July 2017
    1. I for one, would enjoy wine as a favor. Unless your wedding is small, it could be an expensive favor, so I'd be mindful of that. If you have a lot of guests flying, also consider that they wouldn't be able to take it with them. While taking home a bunch of leftover wine at the end of the night wouldn't be the worst thing in the world, I'd be disappointed to put that much into it and just drink them myself. Remember, favors aren't necessary. If you have the budget to do this, go for it, but don't do it at the expense of more important things.

    2. If you gave me vendor business cards unprompted, I would think you were advertising for them, perhaps for a discount. It's fine to share with people who ask, but widely distributing is weird. Instead, I would write appropriate reviews and testimonials for the vendors who really knock it out of the park. 

    3. Guests don't need activities for an hour. Think about it. Most people will walk in, possibly use the restroom, get a drink, find family/friends and say hello, put down their gift, have an app, chat with another friend, sign the guest book, look for another drink, and now the hour is done. Just don't expect to leave them for more than an hour. 
  • MobKazMobKaz member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Hi! I'm planning a wedding for next year and wanted some advice from current brides and brides that have already thrown their wedding. My fiance is highly involved in the decisions but thought outside help would be nice too.

    1) what could I included in the gift bags for my wedding guests at the end of the night? My FH & I are thinking about making our own wine to include either for the guests that book hotels or for all guests- not sure which route.

    2) Would it be tacky or tasteless if I included the business cards of the vendors that we worked with?

    3) our ceremony and reception is about 20 minutes away from each other and my party and us are going to do pictures after the ceremony so what are some activities I guess you could call them, that our guests could do during cocktail hour (drinks/food provided) before we arrived to the reception? We've got a few interactive ideas, photo booth/words of wisdom box/canvas to sign instead of a guest book/ date jar but don't know if that would fill the time enough and want more ideas, in addition to the hotel being walking distant from the reception site.

    I think that's all I can think of now. Thanks in advance for the responses!
    1.  Wine for each guest at the table would be an awesome favor.  There is also the possibility of using the wine bottles as your escort cards as well.  My son and his bride made limoncello and used the bottles as their escort cards and favor.  For guests under the age of 21, they bottled lemonade.  You could make or purchase small bottles of sparkling grape juice for your under age guests. 

    2.  I would not include business cards.  Perhaps you could keep a few nearby to offer guests.  Are you creating a wedding website?  I suppose you could list your vendors on your website and refer guests to the website.

    3.  The only "activities" I have seen at a cocktail hour are guest book signing and a photo booth.  Conversation is typically all that is necessary.
  • 1. Favors are not needed. But food or alcohol IMO is the best option. 

    2. Don't include business cards. 

    3. There doesn't have to be any activities during cocktail hour. Having food and drinks is enough. I've never seen any kind of activities/games at any cocktail hour I've attended. 
  • Thanks everyone! That is a big help.

    If we make out own wine we planned on doing half bottle (375ml) so it would be enough at the end of the night for a glass which is what we were thinking. But I will for sure look into adding more apps or something. Drink selection is already extensive but more food is never an issue.
     
    I will definitely just include the vendors on the wedding website. I was debating between those two ideas so I'm glad that is agreed.

    I was thinking activities because I foresee pictures taking a little longer than an hour, per the advice of our photographer and I don't want people just twiddling their fingers.

  • Define "a little linger than an hour."

    65 mins, 70mins? That's ok.  1.5hrs- nope.



    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • 1) That sounds like a lot of work, but if you want to do it, go for it!

    2) No...tacky.

    3) A photobooth sounds fun. Adults don't need tons of activities. They can socialize, drink and eat for an hour while you finish your photos. 
    *********************************************************************************

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  • mollybarker11mollybarker11 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited July 2017
    1) Favours are not required but consumable ones are always a great idea! If you opt to only give them to guests who book hotel rooms, you should of course present them in the hotel itself and not at the end of your reception.

    2) I don't think tacky/tasteless is the right term, but I would find it pretty odd if you promoted your vendors (either with business cards at the event or on your website). I too would assume it was part of a discount arrangement, almost like a sponsorship. If people want to know who provided what service, they will ask you one-on-one.

    3) Your guests will be happy to freshen up, settle in, and mingle during the cocktail hour. But if your cocktail "hour" is more than 75mins it is too long and you'd be right to be worried. Instead of trying to distract them with games, just tighten up the schedule. Work with your photographer to schedule most of the photos prior to the ceremony. Even if you & your FI don't want to see each other beforehand, you can have all but the group photos out of the way. We can help with timeline ideas if you like!
  • My H and I did half bottles of homemade wine as our favors because my cousin has been making his own wine (in very large quantities) for years and offered it to us as our wedding gift. It was a huge hit but I will say it was a TON of work and the bottles were surprisingly expensive. It was a lot of effort even though we had access to professional bottling and corking equipment so I can't imagine what it would be like if you didn't have that. We did have 300 guests so if you are having a smaller wedding it could certainly be less work/expense but just something to keep in mind. 
  • 1. Wine is fine as a favor, but favors aren't required because the entire reception is a thank-you to your guests for attending your wedding. You could use the money you budgeted for favors to upgrade other things like your menu.

    2. No. Your wedding is not a business networking event.

    3. You can have a photobooth, but it's not really necessary as there are plenty of food and drinks during the cocktail hour. Beyond that you don't need to add activities to entertain your guests.

    But don't keep your guests waiting too long while you take photos. No amount of food, drinks, or. activities will compensate your guests for having to stand or sit around for a prolonged period of time waiting for you, your bridal party, and your family members to finish your photo shoot.
  • MobKazMobKaz member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Thanks everyone! That is a big help.

    If we make out own wine we planned on doing half bottle (375ml) so it would be enough at the end of the night for a glass which is what we were thinking. But I will for sure look into adding more apps or something. Drink selection is already extensive but more food is never an issue.
     
    I will definitely just include the vendors on the wedding website. I was debating between those two ideas so I'm glad that is agreed.

    I was thinking activities because I foresee pictures taking a little longer than an hour, per the advice of our photographer and I don't want people just twiddling their fingers.

    It's called a cocktail HOUR.  It would be rude to force your guests to wait any longer, even with hospitality provided.  Find a way to take as many pictures as possible prior to the wedding.
  • I was thinking activities because I foresee pictures taking a little longer than an hour, per the advice of our photographer and I don't want people just twiddling their fingers.

    You should follow-up with your photographer on this. What is going to take longer than an hour?! Standing for photos for an hour is tough enough, no one (even you!) wants to do it longer than an hour.

    Were there multiple locations planned? If so, cut back. Also, do anything you can do separately beforehand--all the individual portraits, bride and bridesmaids and groom and groomsmen, your individual families. etc.

    I count 11 photos you want. It shouldn't take more than an hour to get more than 11 photos. 

    1. portrait of bride and groom
    2. artsy photo of bride and groom
    3/4. Bride and groom with bride's parents/family--to give to bride's parents
    5/6. Bride and groom with groom's parents/family--to give to groom's parents
    7/8. Bride and groom with all parents/family
    9. Bride and groom with bridesmaids
    10. Bride and groom with groomsmen
    11. Bride and groom with full bridal party
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