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What rude-ass person wants to eat food that is not offered to them?

mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
in Wedding Woes

Dear Prudence,

I was diagnosed with Celiac disease a few years ago. Typically, everything is manageable, although I sometimes struggle to afford food, since gluten-free food is more expensive, and I am seemingly always hungry. The problem is the social aspect. When I have people over, I feel I do not want to offer them my food, which is expensive and sometimes hard to find. They can eat anything! Why do they have to eat my food? I have offered non-gluten-free food that I had on hand, but they wanted my food. If I cook something for myself, and I have a guest over who has leftovers from a restaurant that I can’t eat at and it’s better than what I’m cooking, the guest still wants what I have!

I am starving, going without meals sometimes, and poor, but I’m trying to be a good host. I appreciate when people cater to me and my food needs, but I never expect it. What should I do in these situations without being rude?

—Stay Away From My Food

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Re: What rude-ass person wants to eat food that is not offered to them?

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    MissKittyDangerMissKittyDanger member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    1 - talk your doctor about going to a nutritionist. they can help

    2 - it's not always great to hear, but advise your friends that gluten-free is really hard to find and while you'd share, there just isn't enough. You've advised you're willing to offer other things.

    3 - I've heard of some foods that are gluten-free without necessarily stating it. Look into this.

    4 - coupons. Brands, stores, etc want to give out coupons. This might help on price
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    MissKittyDangerMissKittyDanger member
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    mrsconn23 said:
    5- If you have people over, but can't afford to give them food...tell them that.  I don't expect to eat when I'm invited to friend's homes unless it's previously discussed. (my bff notwithstanding, since I just open her fridge/pantry and she does the same here.)
    Potluck might be best idea for LW
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    lyndausvilyndausvi mod
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited August 2017
    I feel like the LW shouldn't be hosting. I think it's bizarre to have separate host only and guest only food options.   It's like opposite of those stupid guest only towels in the bathroom.


    I think potlucks are in order, but the LW needs to deal with the fact that guests will eat "her food"  if she invites them over to her home for a meal.  

    I also agree with seeing a nutritionist.   There are a lot of naturally GF options out there that don't cost you your first born.     Grill up some chicken thighs and some veggies doesn't cost that much and can be GF (assuming no GF sauces are used).











    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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    banana468banana468 member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    Salad, nuts, potatoes, GF pasta and multiple sauces aren't thast expensive.    I think PPs are onto something with talking to a nutritionist
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    kerbohlkerbohl member
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    I'm getting stuck on something here.  So LW had a guest over, who is clearly coming straight from eating a meal at a restaurant and hasn't had time to even go home and put their leftovers in their own fridge (and who apparently ate enough that they couldn't finish it all), and then said guest insists on eating the food that LW is cooking instead of their own leftovers?  Because if not, who carries their leftover from restaurants everywhere?  And if so, doesn't that imply that you plan to eat them?  Or was the person going to offer the leftovers to LW?  I know some people don't mind eating other people's restaurant leftovers, but is that common among friends? Something seems bizarre there.

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    flantasticflantastic member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    kerbohl said:
    I'm getting stuck on something here.  So LW had a guest over, who is clearly coming straight from eating a meal at a restaurant and hasn't had time to even go home and put their leftovers in their own fridge (and who apparently ate enough that they couldn't finish it all), and then said guest insists on eating the food that LW is cooking instead of their own leftovers?  Because if not, who carries their leftover from restaurants everywhere?  And if so, doesn't that imply that you plan to eat them?  Or was the person going to offer the leftovers to LW?  I know some people don't mind eating other people's restaurant leftovers, but is that common among friends? Something seems bizarre there.
    Yeah, I'm trying to imagine what the social situation is there.

    Is LW going out to dinner with friends but "Oh, I can't eat anything" so she sits there without food and then cooks something for herself when they all go to hang out at her place afterwards?

    Are people just coming over after everyone (including LW) has had dinner, and LW thinks she can just make herself a snack and not offer it to other people?

    One of those is a "I feel like you could probably handle that better, but maybe not, okay." and the other is "Nope, you don't get to do that."
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