Wedding Woes

It takes two to tango, so asking him for half is not unreasonable.

Dear Prudence,
I recently got new health insurance (a bare-bones HMO plan). I want to get the birth control arm implant, but none of the doctors in my network offer this procedure, nor will my insurance authorize me to go elsewhere to get it done. I can get the pill or an IUD for free under my insurance, but I’ve had a lot of problems with IUDs before and hate taking a pill every day and making frequent visits to the pharmacy. I want something long-term that I can “set and forget.” I could pay out of pocket for the implant at a Planned Parenthood, but it would cost $800. I could dip into my savings to make it work, but it would hurt. My long-term boyfriend makes more than twice what I do, and I know if I asked him outright to help pay for half, he’d oblige, but I don’t know if that’s a reasonable request. I know not having a baby is worth well over $400 to him, but since I could technically afford it, it feels like mooching. Should I suck it up and pay for it myself or ask him to chip in?

—Babies Ain’t Cheap, Either

Re: It takes two to tango, so asking him for half is not unreasonable.

  • Those aren't the only options. LW should talk to her dr .... I was on evra patch for awhile and it was same idea as 'put on and forget' All you had to do was change it once a week.
  • Have a frank discussion with him.

    But also look into other options.   Some people prefer to use different forms of BC that can be set without daily use (like the ring) but the other issue with a surgically implanted BC is some of the side effects.   Do your research and come up with something that makes sense.  
  • I'm not familiar with insurance in the states, but if LW's bf has insurance could she hop on his? I know for benefits in Canada, as long as you are common-law {living together for 1 year} you can be on the benefits of your spouse, or partial benefits.
  • I'm not familiar with insurance in the states, but if LW's bf has insurance could she hop on his? I know for benefits in Canada, as long as you are common-law {living together for 1 year} you can be on the benefits of your spouse, or partial benefits.
    Some states/employers recognize domestic partnerships some don't. 
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  • I'm not familiar with insurance in the states, but if LW's bf has insurance could she hop on his? I know for benefits in Canada, as long as you are common-law {living together for 1 year} you can be on the benefits of your spouse, or partial benefits.
    Some states/employers recognize domestic partnerships some don't. 
    Damn ...
  • I'm not familiar with insurance in the states, but if LW's bf has insurance could she hop on his? I know for benefits in Canada, as long as you are common-law {living together for 1 year} you can be on the benefits of your spouse, or partial benefits.
    Some states/employers recognize domestic partnerships some don't. 
    Damn ...


    I'd guess "a lot/most" don't.  Years before "same sex" marriage was legal across the U.S., I worked for a company who would allow live-in partners to be added to the medical insurance...but only if they were the same sex as the employee.  My live-in b/f (now H) had gotten laid off, so I looked into it.

    While I appreciated they were trying to be fair to couples that could not legally be married, at the same time, it was a little eye rolling that I could have added a rando platonic roommate to my health insurance...as long as she was female.  But couldn't add my long time b/f.

    As for the LW, 1,000% yes she should ask her b/f to pay half.  It saddens me this is even a question for her.

    With that said, I asked a college b/f if he would pay for half the cost of my b/c pills.  I had good insurance, so they weren't very expensive.  But still, I was a struggling student.  We were exclusive and had been together for 4-5 months at the time.  Yet he BALKED at the idea and seemed offended I asked.  He begrudgingly agreed to it, but never did pay me.  That should have been my cue to DTMF, but I was young and naïve.


    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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