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Unknown gift giver, how to thank?

estrella2017estrella2017 member
First Comment First Anniversary
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
This board was a great resource while planning my wedding, so thank you all!

But now I have a question about thank you cards.

We received an envelope with cash but there was no card or indication of who it was from (and neither of us remember who handed it to us).

We have narrowed it down to 3 possible people. All three will receive a thank you card, but since I'm not sure who the gift was from I don't know how to word them. 

1. Should I thank all three for coming and not mention any gift (possibly offending the one that did give a gift for not thanking them for it)?

2. Should I thank all of them for coming and the gift (possibly making the non-gift givers feel guilty / think I am now asking for a gift from them)?

We have discussed asking the three (individually, via text or email) if they forgot to write their names/add a card but, like the second option above, to me it seems like we're asking the non-gift givers for a gift.

Any advice?
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Re: Unknown gift giver, how to thank?

  • STARMOON44STARMOON44 member
    First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    Option 1- the only person who will be offended is the idiot who didn't write their name on a card with their gift. 
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  • short+sassyshort+sassy member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    I'd also go with Option 1.  It just seems the least awkward.  Plus, if it were me who had given the cash, I'd just chalk that up to a ty card.  I'm not sure it would even register for me that my gift was not specifically mentioned.
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  • lyndausvilyndausvi mod
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    option 1






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Option 1. If one of those three speaks up and says that they gave you the gift, you can then thank them.
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  • estrella2017estrella2017 member
    First Comment First Anniversary
    Thanks everyone! Will do option 1. 
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  • ahoyweddingahoywedding member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    Ack we had this same situation! We were going to do the same thing (option 1). My mom happened to notice the gift with no tag, and said hmm that sounds like what your aunt said your cousin got you guys. So she asked for us, so that we didn't seem gift grabby. 

    Since it's just cash, it would be a little harder to figure out who sent it to you. I agree, just send thank yous to them all since it's only 3 people, and see who speaks up.
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