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I don't understand this question

Ro041Ro041 member
Seventh Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
in Wedding Woes
Today's Dear Abby has me going, "wut?":

DEAR ABBY: I am wondering about the use of the term "fiancee." Urban Dictionary says it is now considered a "White Trash culture" term for a long-term girlfriend. I'm beginning to hear it used more and more often by people I certainly would not think of as white trash. Is there another way to refer to a significant other when no wedding is planned or a date set? Do other cultures or languages have a word for this? -- WONDERING ABOUT WORDS

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Re: I don't understand this question

  • short+sassyshort+sassy member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Ro041 said:
    Today's Dear Abby has me going, "wut?":

    DEAR ABBY: I am wondering about the use of the term "fiancee." Urban Dictionary says it is now considered a "White Trash culture" term for a long-term girlfriend. I'm beginning to hear it used more and more often by people I certainly would not think of as white trash. Is there another way to refer to a significant other when no wedding is planned or a date set? Do other cultures or languages have a word for this? -- WONDERING ABOUT WORDS


    First off, I don't like phrases...especially derogatory ones...that refer to a person's race.  I am going to replace the phrase "white trash" with the word "tacky" for the rest of my post.

    Tacky LW, I don't know what you are talking about.  I've never heard or gotten that impression from the word fiancée.  NOW, where I could see that coming from, is when people call their SO their "husband" or "wife", when the couple isn't married.  I do find that tacky and a bit grating, though not a major etiquette faux pas either.

    And there is a word in our culture for an SO when no wedding is planned.  It's girlfriend.  Or SO.  Or partner.  I agree it isn't FI.

    But a proposal or understanding that a couple is getting married.  They just haven't set a date yet.  Even if it has been a long time.  I'd call that a FI.

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  • MissKittyDangerMissKittyDanger member
    Tenth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    1 - since when is Urban Dictionary viable place for information?

    2 - why is 'white trash' still a thing? I lived in a trailer park with my parents for a few years before moving. My mum still lives there. Still not 'trailer trash'. {little known fact - they are quite spacious. We went from 3 bedroom, 3 floor townhouse to this place. 3 bedrooms and 2 sheds. Yes we had to downsize but not as much as expected. They're more like bungalows}

    3 - wtf Abby ...

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  • missJeanLouisemissJeanLouise member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited September 2017
    MissKittyDanger said:
    1 - since when is Urban Dictionary viable place for information?

    2 - why is 'white trash' still a thing? I lived in a trailer park with my parents for a few years before moving. My mum still lives there. Still not 'trailer trash'. {little known fact - they are quite spacious. We went from 3 bedroom, 3 floor townhouse to this place. 3 bedrooms and 2 sheds. Yes we had to downsize but not as much as expected. They're more like bungalows}

    3 - wtf Abby ...

    White trash =/= trailer park. Trashy people live every where.

    eta: DH and I don't know if we will ever 'settle down' somewhere but we do know that we will probably buy some vacation property somewhere in the middle of nowhere. We plan on putting a trailer or doublewide on the land. My friend's grandparents had the nicest trailer on their vacation property when I was growing up. It was permanent, had an excellent deck built off the side, looked nicer than my house on the inside. 
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  • MissKittyDangerMissKittyDanger member
    Tenth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    missJeanLouise said:
    MissKittyDanger said:
    1 - since when is Urban Dictionary viable place for information?

    2 - why is 'white trash' still a thing? I lived in a trailer park with my parents for a few years before moving. My mum still lives there. Still not 'trailer trash'. {little known fact - they are quite spacious. We went from 3 bedroom, 3 floor townhouse to this place. 3 bedrooms and 2 sheds. Yes we had to downsize but not as much as expected. They're more like bungalows}

    3 - wtf Abby ...

    White trash =/= trailer park. Trashy people live every where.

    eta: DH and I don't know if we will ever 'settle down' somewhere but we do know that we will probably buy some vacation property somewhere in the middle of nowhere. We plan on putting a trailer or doublewide on the land. My friend's grandparents had the nicest trailer on their vacation property when I was growing up. It was permanent, had an excellent deck built off the side, looked nicer than my house on the inside. 
    Right!? was called "trailer trash" by drunk kids when walking home one night ... people suck.

    My boss' parents have an RV as a home. They travel to Florida in the winter and live up here april - nov/dec. Some are so friggen pimped out, it's insane!
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  • missJeanLouisemissJeanLouise member
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    Alsoandplus, RVs are frikin expensive!!
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  • short+sassyshort+sassy member
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    MissKittyDanger said:
    missJeanLouise said:
    MissKittyDanger said:
    1 - since when is Urban Dictionary viable place for information?

    2 - why is 'white trash' still a thing? I lived in a trailer park with my parents for a few years before moving. My mum still lives there. Still not 'trailer trash'. {little known fact - they are quite spacious. We went from 3 bedroom, 3 floor townhouse to this place. 3 bedrooms and 2 sheds. Yes we had to downsize but not as much as expected. They're more like bungalows}

    3 - wtf Abby ...

    White trash =/= trailer park. Trashy people live every where.

    eta: DH and I don't know if we will ever 'settle down' somewhere but we do know that we will probably buy some vacation property somewhere in the middle of nowhere. We plan on putting a trailer or doublewide on the land. My friend's grandparents had the nicest trailer on their vacation property when I was growing up. It was permanent, had an excellent deck built off the side, looked nicer than my house on the inside. 
    Right!? was called "trailer trash" by drunk kids when walking home one night ... people suck.

    My boss' parents have an RV as a home. They travel to Florida in the winter and live up here april - nov/dec. Some are so friggen pimped out, it's insane!

    I've caught a couple episodes of that show "Extreme RVs".  Even the lower end of the fancy models cost more than my whole house did, lol.
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  • MissKittyDangerMissKittyDanger member
    Tenth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    short+sassy said:

    I've caught a couple episodes of that show "Extreme RVs".  Even the lower end of the fancy models cost more than my whole house did, lol.
    missJeanLouise said:
    Alsoandplus, RVs are frikin expensive!!
    If you have the know-how, buy cheap and renovate ;) That's what my boss' parents did. They quit smoking and all the 'extra' money they used to buy smokes, went to reno'ing their RV :)
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  • lovesclimbinglovesclimbing member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    While I disagree with fiancé now being trashy or tacky or whatever, I think the LW had a bit of a point. I have heard of becoming engaged just being the next step in a relationship as opposed to a serious commitment with a specific date when the couple will get married. In which case, engagement simply means the same thing as bf/gf or partner. 

    It reminds me of Peter and Rachel's relationship in the latest season of The Bachelorette. Peter didn't want to get engaged after ten weeks of dating because he saw engagement as being like marriage - you only do it once with the person you know you're marrying, while Rachel saw it as the next step and then figuring things out during engagement. 
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  • short+sassyshort+sassy member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers

    Off topic from this particular "Urban Dictionary" thread, but I heard the other day that it is considered rude to use periods in text messaging.  I think I heard that on the Daily Show.  Not that they were agreeing, just talking about it.

    I don't remember the supposed reasoning as to why some people think it is rude, just that it wasn't a compelling enough reason for me to change the way I text.  And I've never heard of that before anyway.

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  • MissKittyDangerMissKittyDanger member
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    short+sassy said:

    Off topic from this particular "Urban Dictionary" thread, but I heard the other day that it is considered rude to use periods in text messaging.  I think I heard that on the Daily Show.  Not that they were agreeing, just talking about it.

    I don't remember the supposed reasoning as to why some people think it is rude, just that it wasn't a compelling enough reason for me to change the way I text.  And I've never heard of that before anyway.

    I use periods in text when it's needed, otherwise i don't bother 
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  • *Barbie**Barbie* member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    i don't think i've heard fiancée/fiancé beyond someone who was engaged - but that doesn't seem urban dictionary worthy. the urban dictionary is to figure out slang and bizarre sex acts. (e.g. when playing Cards Against Humanity with super conservative people).

    re: "white trash" - there were 2 districts that had a really bitter rivalry in the area that i grew up. In high school, i was dating a guy from one of those districts (WM), so would occasionally go to school sporting events with him/his family (he played basketball.) When they would play the rival district (JH), there was always a group from JH that would bring white kitchen trash bags and wave them at the WM students/players. Things could get ugly after that. At the time, i would say that both of these districts were primarily middle class areas, so not sure the reason for the "white trash" reference. 
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  • nicolegs17nicolegs17 member
    25 Love Its 10 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    VarunaTT said:
    Whoa, whoa.  I didn't get the memo that Urban Dictionary was actually applicable to anything relevant to actual real life.  I thought it was just where I went to figure out slang from the young-ins.  

    WhoTF is checking Urban Dictionary for fiancee? [IDK how you guys do the little accent over the e].
    é = ALT+0233 on a Windows machine.
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  • lovesclimbinglovesclimbing member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    I'm in mobile and it autocorrects to the accent mark for me, which is awesome!!
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  • levioosalevioosa member
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    short+sassy said:

    Off topic from this particular "Urban Dictionary" thread, but I heard the other day that it is considered rude to use periods in text messaging.  I think I heard that on the Daily Show.  Not that they were agreeing, just talking about it.

    I don't remember the supposed reasoning as to why some people think it is rude, just that it wasn't a compelling enough reason for me to change the way I text.  And I've never heard of that before anyway.

    No. 


    image
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  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    VarunaTT said:
    Whoa, whoa.  I didn't get the memo that Urban Dictionary was actually applicable to anything relevant to actual real life.  I thought it was just where I went to figure out slang from the young-ins.  

    WhoTF is checking Urban Dictionary for fiancee? [IDK how you guys do the little accent over the e].
    Hold the "e" key down and the accent choices will show up.
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  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited September 2017
    Ro041 said:
    Today's Dear Abby has me going, "wut?":

    DEAR ABBY: I am wondering about the use of the term "fiancee." Urban Dictionary says it is now considered a "White Trash culture" term for a long-term girlfriend. I'm beginning to hear it used more and more often by people I certainly would not think of as white trash. Is there another way to refer to a significant other when no wedding is planned or a date set? Do other cultures or languages have a word for this? -- WONDERING ABOUT WORDS
    Of course there is a word that means this.  It is "friend".  The details of such a relationship are nobody's business and should be kept private unless the status changes to one that is socially recognized (an engaged couple).
    I would never be a friend to anyone who uses the term "white trash".
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
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