The first step is to admit she doesn't want the cat

Re: The first step is to admit she doesn't want the cat

• banana468 member

  

  October 2017

  LW needs determine what his/her priorities are and draw a line in the sand.  
  1) Would s/he rather keep the animals?
  2) Would s/he rather keep the apartment?
  
  If it's #1 then new living arrangements are needed and it's time to start looking.   If it's #2 then it's time to fish or cut bait.   In this case, fishing means finding a new home for the cat.
  
  She's not going to get back with the LW.   A distance of 1,200 miles isn't one that says, "Let's start off slow and see where this goes."   It says, "We're done.   Who are you again?"  LW needs to come to terms with this, make a final determination regarding #1 or 2 and then not look back.  

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• GBCK member

  

  October 2017

  And it's legit to say "it's not fair to anyone to have this in limbo.
  If you haven't made arrangements to pick up Fluffy by Dec 1, she will be my cat and I will make those decisions"
  
  Because she doesn't get to have a say in the final outcome, she just gets to say 'yes, my cat' or 'no, not my cat'

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• charlotte989875 member

  

  October 2017 edited October 2017

  Yeah, doesn't sound like ex-GF wants the cat. So LW should set a deadline for cat rehoming. If ex-GF doesn't get cat by that date LW needs to decide if she wants the cat and thus finds new apartment/exceeds pet limit and faces the consequences, or if she wants to make other arrangements. 
  
  Poor cat. 

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• short+sassy member

  

  October 2017

  GBCK said:

  And it's legit to say "it's not fair to anyone to have this in limbo.
  If you haven't made arrangements to pick up Fluffy by Dec 1, she will be my cat and I will make those decisions"
  
  Because she doesn't get to have a say in the final outcome, she just gets to say 'yes, my cat' or 'no, not my cat'

  
  Exactly!  This guy is being ridiculous.  He should have given an ultimatum a long time ago.

  For people who pull the ESA (Emotional Support Animal) scam, it is as easy as ordering the letter online and usually receiving it emailed back, the same day.  And, yes, they are from "therapists" because the law on ESAs makes that term very loose.  I'm certainly not saying all ESAs are bogus, but landlords (and hotels/airlines) are very limited in what they can ask for as proof, so the charade from the fakers continues.

  Not to mention, once she gets the letter, then what?  Is she going to drive a total of 2400 miles to get her cat?  Or pay hundreds of dollars for the "unescorted animal" fee that an airline will charge?  Sounds unlikely!

  As an additional fun fact about ESAs vs. Service animals (ie seeing eye dog), it seems like the general public thinks these categories are the same under the law.  They are not.  At all.  Service animals...which have to be dogs or mini horses...can pretty much go with their owner anywhere.  The only exceptions I have ever heard of are in a sterile environment.  Like an operating room.

  This is NOT the case for an ESA.  They have to be allowed for lodging (rental or hotel) and air travel.  That's it.  There are also a lot of exceptions, especially for lodging.  But if a business owner does not want to allow someone's ES python or ES monkey (insert any animal) into their bookstore or grocery store or whatever, they legally do not have to.

  

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• thisismynickname2 member

  

  October 2017

  short+sassy said:

  GBCK said:

  And it's legit to say "it's not fair to anyone to have this in limbo.
  If you haven't made arrangements to pick up Fluffy by Dec 1, she will be my cat and I will make those decisions"
  
  Because she doesn't get to have a say in the final outcome, she just gets to say 'yes, my cat' or 'no, not my cat'

  
  Exactly!  This guy is being ridiculous.  He should have given an ultimatum a long time ago.

  For people who pull the ESA (Emotional Support Animal) scam, it is as easy as ordering the letter online and usually receiving it emailed back, the same day.  And, yes, they are from "therapists" because the law on ESAs makes that term very loose.  I'm certainly not saying all ESAs are bogus, but landlords (and hotels/airlines) are very limited in what they can ask for as proof, so the charade from the fakers continues.

  Not to mention, once she gets the letter, then what?  Is she going to drive a total of 2400 miles to get her cat?  Or pay hundreds of dollars for the "unescorted animal" fee that an airline will charge?  Sounds unlikely!

  As an additional fun fact about ESAs vs. Service animals (ie seeing eye dog), it seems like the general public thinks these categories are the same under the law.  They are not.  At all.  Service animals...which have to be dogs or mini horses...can pretty much go with their owner anywhere.  The only exceptions I have ever heard of are in a sterile environment.  Like an operating room.

  This is NOT the case for an ESA.  They have to be allowed for lodging (rental or hotel) and air travel.  That's it.  There are also a lot of exceptions, especially for lodging.  But if a business owner does not want to allow someone's ES python or ES monkey (insert any animal) into their bookstore or grocery store or whatever, they legally do not have to.

  THANK YOU re: support animals. That whole thing really bothers me. Air travel? Really? You want to bring an animal into a flying can with recycled air with humans with all kinds of health and allergy issues? I totally respect a service animal but slapping an emotional support vest on your dog so you don't have to crate him in the airplane REALLY pisses me off. (Yes, I have animal allergies but luckily they're not severe- if seated next to a dog I'd ask an attendant if I could switch seats.)
  The whole emotional support thing- an animal for daily life sounds great. And I really apologize in advance but if you can't fly without "emotional support" then don't fly. If you won't instead take what my family lovingly calls a "happy pill" to get on a plane, don't fly.  A couple weeks back I was in O'Hare Terminal 2 following some clueless young woman dragging her emotional support dog (he wore a vest) while it POOPED all the way down the damn terminal. I raced to catch up to her to tell her to clean up after her dog but some other dude beat me to it. She was moseying along listening to headphones and yanking the dog without even looking back at his trail of feces. Fucktard. 
  And the whole housing thing- I know pets are limited in many communal buildings but they're often limited for a REASON- to appeal to potential renters/buyers who do not wish to live among animals for noise and/or allergy reasons. So to selfishly say you want to live in x building and get a scammy emotional support letter so you can live there with your yappy dog, well fuck you very much. 
  
  /End rant. 

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• short+sassy member

  

  October 2017

  thisismynickname2 said:

  THANK YOU re: support animals. That whole thing really bothers me. Air travel? Really? You want to bring an animal into a flying can with recycled air with humans with all kinds of health and allergy issues? I totally respect a service animal but slapping an emotional support vest on your dog so you don't have to crate him in the airplane REALLY pisses me off. (Yes, I have animal allergies but luckily they're not severe- if seated next to a dog I'd ask an attendant if I could switch seats.)
  The whole emotional support thing- an animal for daily life sounds great. And I really apologize in advance but if you can't fly without "emotional support" then don't fly. If you won't instead take what my family lovingly calls a "happy pill" to get on a plane, don't fly.  A couple weeks back I was in O'Hare Terminal 2 following some clueless young woman dragging her emotional support dog (he wore a vest) while it POOPED all the way down the damn terminal. I raced to catch up to her to tell her to clean up after her dog but some other dude beat me to it. She was moseying along listening to headphones and yanking the dog without even looking back at his trail of feces. Fucktard. 
  And the whole housing thing- I know pets are limited in many communal buildings but they're often limited for a REASON- to appeal to potential renters/buyers who do not wish to live among animals for noise and/or allergy reasons. So to selfishly say you want to live in x building and get a scammy emotional support letter so you can live there with your yappy dog, well fuck you very much. 
  
  /End rant. 

  I don't know if you caught the story, I think it was a few months ago.  But a lady's ESA dog bit another passenger on her plane.

  And that can be a problem and a danger with ESAs.  They don't necessarily have any training, whatsoever.  So they might poop and piddle all over the place, like the woman's dog you mentioned.  Cause other damage.  Or they might jump on or, even worse, attack someone.

  I also think it's outrageous that they don't even have to be a domesticated animal, like a dog or cat.  I was watching a documentary about weird pets.  And this one lady had a small monkey that was her ESA.  She whined and whined about how she's so discriminated against.  And she has to argue all the time at stores and public places to allow her monkey in.  She was also, perhaps on purpose, under the mistaken assumption that her monkey had to be allowed everywhere.

  But, bottom line, if a person has strong enough emotional issues that they need an ESA.  Perhaps they don't choose a WILD animal as their ESA, knowing they are constantly going to be getting in conflicts about it.  I'm just sayin'.

  The bolded is actually a valid reason a landlord/property manager can tell a tenant they need to get rid of their animal.  Whether a pet, ESA, or even a Service animal.  Biting, aggressiveness, destructiveness, and/or noise are valid exceptions.  Unfortunately, that often isn't known until after a person has moved in.  But then, property owners might be setting themselves up for a lawsuit.  And even a fruitless one is expensive and time consuming.
  

  

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• VarunaTT member

  

  October 2017

  I made a friend so mad at me one time when, just b/c I was curious and questioning, I basically sussed out that she had fabricated the entire reasons behind making her dog an ESA and it was just that she wanted her dog with her.
  
  Looking back, that should've told me what kind of person she was really.

  �

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• levioosa member

  

  October 2017

  The assistant dean of our school has a "therapy dog." He is so ill-behaved it makes me angry. No. You brought your pet to school. Don't pretend like he is a service animal. They are not the same thing whatsoever. 

  
  

  
  

  

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• GBCK member

  

  October 2017

  The Mr., since he works a lot w/i the special needs community, has lots and lots and lots of stories.
  INcluding the ESA boa.  which, in the scheme of things, is one that was less disturbing than many --and logical, it at least squeezes to provide physical stimuli.
  (also, some rules are kinda lax because it never occurred to someone that, yeah, really, that lady over there has 5 dogs and is claiming ALL of them as ESAs and, when we wrote the guidelines, we planned on a TON of scams, but not that one)

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