I’ve been married for 10 years now and for nearly the whole time my birthday has been an afterthought. This past year was the absolute worst: My husband did nothing besides offer me a perfunctory “happy birthday” in the morning. Meanwhile, it’s time for his birthday to roll around and he’s been agonizing over it for a month—what are we going to do, have I taken the day off, blah blah blah. This year I flat out told him he ruined my birthday, so now I’m getting the guilt trip that since I had such a terrible birthday we should just not do anything for his. I just can’t do that. It’s not in my nature to let a birthday pass without recognition, even if it’s something small (as it has sometimes been in past years). How do I reach the point where I have zero expectations for my birthday so I can just enjoy giving again when his rolls around?