Wedding receptions

tammyduane · May 2010

We are having a big wedding and reception, the only problem is that we can not afford to invite everyone to the dinner. We already have over 200 guest for the dinner and about 100 more we would like to still have come to the reception party. How would you word an invitation to a reception party but not the dinner? Can anyone please help me...

MyNameIsNot · May 2010

There's no polite way to do this. Inviting 100 runner up guests to only part of the reception would be incredibly rude. People would rather just not be invited than be invited to be a second class citizen. Don't mistreat people that way.

If you can afford 200, that's all you can invite.

trix1223 · May 2010

Yeah, how does that second string invite go? "You didn't make the first cut to the dinner. But we still want you to come and dance. So come to our wedding ceremony. Then find your own food and drinks, hang out and wait to come back after the top tier guests are done with their meal."

How would you feel? I can tell you how I'd feel. I'd decline the invitation to the ceremony and the part of the reception that includes the kids who didn't make the cut.

The reason you're having a hard time writing out an invitation to the second string guests is because there just isn't a good way to do it.

And since your invitations have gone out, you're OOL. You've made your decision on your guest list. Now own the decision.

duckie1905 · May 2010

There is no polite way to exclude some of your guests from part of the reception. It is just plain rude. Either invite them to everything or invite them to nothing.

bidge24 · May 2010

i was recently in a friends wedding who did this, and people were so taken back by the "you can come to the reception after we eat dinner" invite that they didnt even bother to rsvp

topchef33 · May 2010

Don't invite certain people to the whole thing and others only to dancing. That is rude. I wouldn't show up if I was told I couldn't come to dinner but I could come dance later.

portia.young · May 2010

Ditto. Only invite the people you can afford.

aerinpegadrak · May 2010

Just don't invite those last 100 people. If they weren't close enough to you to make the initial cut, they're probably not close enough to you to expect an invite.

People are going to be hurt to be invited to only half of the party. There's no way around that.

AmoroAgain · May 2010

You don't really need 300 people at your wedding. Seriously. Do you think those extra 100 are going to be sitting at home, pining on your wedding day that they weren't invited?

I wouldn't.

andy71781 · May 2010

Don't do it - its one of the rudest things you can do.

acehasrisen1 · May 2010

you could also hold an after party for the ones who could not attend the dinner this way it's up to them to spend money on drinks and what they want. you could have the 22 at the ceremony and reception then have an after party in a local meeting place i.e a bar, a resturant with a bar something to that nature. that was what on of my friends did

trix1223 · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_wedding-receptions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:b914a8a9-b47b-45df-8677-e92069ed3b17Post:083d98b7-12d6-49ef-9b76-c83543e4a898">Re: Wedding receptions</a>:
[QUOTE]you could also hold an after party for the ones who could not attend the dinner this way it's up to them to spend money on drinks and what they want. you could have the 22 at the ceremony and reception then have an after party in a local meeting place i.e a bar, a resturant with a bar something to that nature. that was what on of my friends did
Posted by acehasrisen1[/QUOTE]

OP said she invited 200 to the wedding and reception and was wondering about another 100. I'm not sure where you got the 22 number....

Catwoman708 · May 2010

It would be a huge faux pas for you to do that. Only invite the number of people you can afford to host to the wedding and reception. Or do something to save money elsewhere. Like:

1. Have a less expensive meal, or forgo alcohol, if you were planning on serving it.

2. Move the reception time where it won't be a regular meal time, like early to mid afternoon, and don't serve a full meal. Cake and a few appetizers are acceptable etiquette.

3. Skip the honeymoon so you can afford to invite those extra 100 of people. If they are not important enough to you to sacrifice your honeymoon, then they aren't important enough to invite to your wedding.

This will sound harsh, if you can't afford to feed all the guests you intend to invite, and would consider inviting some to attend later at their own expense, then this does not exactly sound like the "social event of the season" that everyone you know will be clamouring to attend.

How many of those 300 guests do you seriously and realistically think will attend your wedding? And would they still do so if you had only a cake and punch reception? If they would still attend, then they are probably truly happy for you and would want to attend. If they are only in it for free food and booze, then they're not really your friends.

laura11581 · May 2010

We are having our wedding reception at an affordable, but elegant restaurant. As we could not have invited everyone due to our budget, we invited immediate family and a few friends only.

I am sure that those who were not invited will understand.

Wedding receptions

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