Wedding Woes

"I have a confession" - and other things spouses' say that could mean anything

I can't be the only one!

M just texted me saying "I have a confession" so instead of waiting for the response on what he's done, I called him.

In the past this has returned back anywhere ranging from "I spent X amount because I preordered the new XBox" to "there's a huge mess in the kitchen because science"



What'd he do? Got bored and put the tree up. {not decorated}

Seriously dude? You scared me.


Anyone else deal with this with their spouse? Lol
tayandrob2019

Re: "I have a confession" - and other things spouses' say that could mean anything

  • Not so much what he says that scares me, but what he does. When H calls me during our morning commutes my heart sinks. Every. Time. I'm usually the one who calls him - and it's always for stupid shit like a rafter of turkeys on the side of the road or the other day I actually saw a banana peel in front of me in my lane and I started to picture the highway like Mario Kart and had to call H because my giggles were out of control. 

    But if he calls me? I get irrationally scared. 
    MissKittyDangercharlotte989875thisismynickname2
  • CharmedPamCharmedPam Chicagoburbs member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Nope.  If anyone were to do that in our family, it would be me. lol.  

    Your hubby is great though! I hate putting up the tree and taking it down.  Decorating, I'm all about. 

  • @banana468 yeh anything super important - like when he got laid off - he said "hey fyi x-thing happened. call me and i'll explain" He knows better with things like that.

    I swear, it's such a broad range of stupid things he does that it's like .... idk what to expect lol
  • edited November 2017
    @sparklepants41 omg same! M rarely calls me unless it's something important. I text him random things because I take the bus {ex: "that lady who's brows I hate? yeh she's beside me."}


    @CharmedPam I'm not big on xmas in general, but I don't mind decorating. We were planning on putting it up soon anyways to give cats chance to check it out before any decorations go up.

    Taking shit down? That's my jam lol
    sparklepants41
  • @banana468 yeh anything super important - like when he got laid off - he said "hey fyi x-thing happened. call me and i'll explain" He knows better with things like that.

    I swear, it's such a broad range of stupid things he does that it's like .... idk what to expect lol
    For us we generally call the other person if the situation involves an explanation.

    We avoid calling as much as possible but sometimes it's necessary.

    Example - most communication daily during work hours is via email.   I'll ask for him to run to the grocery store on the way home, we'll finalize plans, etc.

    Phone calls are often involving recaps from doctor appointments that involve changes, pharmacy pickups, or the need to make a decision somewhat quickly.  


    MissKittyDangercharlotte989875tayandrob2019
  • My husband has had enough accidents (none involving other vehicles or other people or in which he got injured beyond soreness for a few days, but which require, of course, lots of money we don't have for a new vehicle) that I freak when he's late from work whether he calls he or not. If he doesn't call, I worry he's dead in a ditch somewhere, and if he does, I'm worrying when I see the phone ring that he's calling me to say I need to come pick him up because he wrecked the car.

    This past summer, he was fixing our four-wheeler for a trip at his shop. I went to bed and woke up at 1 am and he wasn't home. I called like 15 times and finally I got our two-week-old baby up and stuffed her into the car seat. I was just walking out the door when he called and said he was on the way home. I was crying by that point, and of course, our daughter was awake by then and I had to nurse her back to sleep. 

    I want him to just text me, not call.

    MissKittyDangerOliveOilsMomcharlotte989875thisismynickname2
  • banana468 said:
    @banana468 yeh anything super important - like when he got laid off - he said "hey fyi x-thing happened. call me and i'll explain" He knows better with things like that.

    I swear, it's such a broad range of stupid things he does that it's like .... idk what to expect lol
    For us we generally call the other person if the situation involves an explanation.

    We avoid calling as much as possible but sometimes it's necessary.

    Example - most communication daily during work hours is via email.   I'll ask for him to run to the grocery store on the way home, we'll finalize plans, etc.

    Phone calls are often involving recaps from doctor appointments that involve changes, pharmacy pickups, or the need to make a decision somewhat quickly.  
    Oh I totally feel you. I really only call M about stupid little things if I know he's driving, or he hasn't responded in awhile {he'll hear his phone more often than feel it}

    We'll call if it's important on timing - like when his work needed to know by end of day about something I was also invited to. He called so I knew it was a "hey this has a time crunch"
  • My husband has had enough accidents (none involving other vehicles or other people or in which he got injured beyond soreness for a few days, but which require, of course, lots of money we don't have for a new vehicle) that I freak when he's late from work whether he calls he or not. If he doesn't call, I worry he's dead in a ditch somewhere, and if he does, I'm worrying when I see the phone ring that he's calling me to say I need to come pick him up because he wrecked the car.

    This past summer, he was fixing our four-wheeler for a trip at his shop. I went to bed and woke up at 1 am and he wasn't home. I called like 15 times and finally I got our two-week-old baby up and stuffed her into the car seat. I was just walking out the door when he called and said he was on the way home. I was crying by that point, and of course, our daughter was awake by then and I had to nurse her back to sleep. 

    I want him to just text me, not call.
    Oh fuck I would totally be in the same thing if M didn't respond in hours and couldn't reach him.

    I can't even imagine how you felt! Glad nothing serious happened {also with the accidents :\!}
  • H & I usually text during the day and rarely call each other. The other day he texted me and asked if I could talk. 

    He had to tell me his parents can't watch our dog over the weekend because "he snuggles too much." I was like WOW well that is not as life-changing as I thought it was going to be!
    OliveOilsMomMissKittyDangercharlotte989875
  • I just got a random text (DH very rarely texts me at all) to let me know there was a $300 ish credit on his credit card (the one we don't share).  His message started out with "So, something fairly odd..."

    I suggested we spend it all on liquor at our upcoming Christmas parties.  I've since not had a reply.

    MissKittyDangershort+sassycharlotte989875ahoywedding
  • My husband has had enough accidents (none involving other vehicles or other people or in which he got injured beyond soreness for a few days, but which require, of course, lots of money we don't have for a new vehicle) that I freak when he's late from work whether he calls he or not. If he doesn't call, I worry he's dead in a ditch somewhere, and if he does, I'm worrying when I see the phone ring that he's calling me to say I need to come pick him up because he wrecked the car.

    This past summer, he was fixing our four-wheeler for a trip at his shop. I went to bed and woke up at 1 am and he wasn't home. I called like 15 times and finally I got our two-week-old baby up and stuffed her into the car seat. I was just walking out the door when he called and said he was on the way home. I was crying by that point, and of course, our daughter was awake by then and I had to nurse her back to sleep. 

    I want him to just text me, not call.
    Oh fuck I would totally be in the same thing if M didn't respond in hours and couldn't reach him.

    I can't even imagine how you felt! Glad nothing serious happened {also with the accidents :\!}
    Well, the fifteen calls was over the course of maybe half an hour. :p And because of his work (a physical job), his phone is rarely on him. He's broken a lot of phones! And because he works in a shop, he doesn't get great signal. So it's not unusual for him to miss calls. It worried me because it was so late!

    MissKittyDanger
  • jh715 said:

    I just got a random text (DH very rarely texts me at all) to let me know there was a $300 ish credit on his credit card (the one we don't share).  His message started out with "So, something fairly odd..."

    I suggested we spend it all on liquor at our upcoming Christmas parties.  I've since not had a reply.

    That sounds like a great idea though!
  • jh715 said:

    I just got a random text (DH very rarely texts me at all) to let me know there was a $300 ish credit on his credit card (the one we don't share).  His message started out with "So, something fairly odd..."

    I suggested we spend it all on liquor at our upcoming Christmas parties.  I've since not had a reply.

    That sounds like a great idea though!
    It's not gonna happen, lol.  We're the couple who only drinks our 2 free drinks plus table wine at company events.  Plus I've not had a drink since before Halloween (just cause I wanted to see how I felt after a month of no drinking), so it definitely won't cost much to get me drunk.
  • DH likes to not tell me when he's going places or if he's going to be home late from work.

    Last Friday it's 6:30pm, and I can see his "day clothes" are laid on the foot of the bed but the car and his phone/keys are gone. So I text him.

    "Umm, where are you?"
    "Dodgeball"
    "So you joined a league again?"
    "Yup"

    Cool- good for you. But tell me so I'm not worried you're lying in a ditch somewhere. Or so I know if I need to make dinner or not (;)).
    lovesclimbingOliveOilsMommissJeanLouiseMissKittyDanger
  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 a taco truck in Houston member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Mine isn't that dramatic.  He gets right to the point and is efficient (especially if it's during the workday)

    Funny story, though .....

    I was in college (1998 or so) and cell phones weren't what they are now.  We were in the middle of nowhere central Texas and I sprained my ankle.  I was calling home to let my mom know & to make sure that the insurance card I had was still the right one.  Unbeknownst to me, the signal cut out.  So, all my mom heard was "hi, I'm on my way to the hospital" when the phone went dead.

    So, when I got back into town, I called her and she was sobbing hysterically because she had no idea what was going on.  She told me that, from then on, if I was calling & something was wrong but things are overall okay, I'm to say "hi, mom .... I'm okay."

    Fast forward 7 or so years.  I'm on a business trip in Argentina and get food poisoning.  I spent the whole day hugging the toilet and my client had to take me to the doctor because I was so ill.  Here's how the conversation went ...

    "hey, how's Argentina?"
    "Hi, mom ... I'm okay."
    "WHAT DID YOU DO?"
     
    Once I told her, she calmed down somewhat.  Then she got out a map and saw how far south Buenos Aires was (apparently geography isn't her thing) and she freaked out again.

    So, yeah .... I'm more at risk than DH is on this one.
    charlotte989875thisismynickname2SP29sparklepants41
  • If I have a hard time telling him something that's serious to the point where it's hard for me to get the words out, but it doesn't have to do with us, I'll say, "Don't worry, it's not aboutt us," and then I can take my time trying to say it. I did that when my grandpa died and when my cousin killed himself. 

  • Not really. DH knows I'm not amused by coy or cliffhanger type communication. Like, if it's something funny or harmless, just tell me the story rather than make me think there's something actually the matter. 
    *********************************************************************************

    image
    charlotte989875
  • Not really. DH knows I'm not amused by coy or cliffhanger type communication. Like, if it's something funny or harmless, just tell me the story rather than make me think there's something actually the matter. 
    This is us too. I'd be really unhappy if he did something like "I have a confession" or "we need to talk" without context or information. There are enough big, scary, life things that happen I don't need or want suspense on harmless stories.
    STARMOON44southernbelle0915short+sassythisismynickname2
  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 City By The Lake member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer

    We were dating but H once texted me "We need to talk"  My heart sank so much, I thought he was going to dump me!  I couldn't even finish the work day, I just left then and there to meet him at my house (we weren't even living together yet).  He was upset I told his mom the story about how he got drunk at NYE. ::facepalm::  I didn't even tell the whole story, just the funniest bits.  I told him in no uncertain terms that he can never text "We need to talk" or anything else similar without a bit of context. I went over all the heartache from those 30 minutes to when I first got the text and when I asked what is the matter, he only texted that he would prefer we talk in person.  He finally understood things from my side.

    Now if there is anything, especially if we need to chat during the day.  We also preface with "not an emergency". 

    Loveclimbing - I had a similar story from last year.  H and some friend go to a Phillies game each year.  He typically arrives home around 10:30.  This time midnight was approaching and he still wasn't home.  I was pregnant and worrying.  I started texting and calling, but he didn't answer because he was driving.  His one friend was so drunk they drove his car to his house for him and the other followed.  He lives a good 30 minutes from the central meet point.  So it was an extra hour.  Once he finally got home and I told him I was worried, he said "Should we have let the guy drive home drunk?"  I said, no, you did the right thing, but you could have also texted me to say you were going to do so.  I wouldn't have worried!

    "We need to talk," are some of the four worst words in the English language! I would have thought the same thing!

    One time DH went out bar hopping with some of his friends and he was supposed to be home around midnight. I woke up at 1 and he wasn't back but I had a text that they were going to a late-night bar. Then I woke up at 7 and two of his friends were asleep in the living room. I messaged the one guy's wife and said, "I'm not sure if you were told but your husband is on my couch." They have two little kids and I was betting she was worried and/or livid. She was both and thankful I'd said something.  
    ________________________________


    short+sassyMissKittyDangercharlotte989875sparklepants41
  • One time H went out to the bar with a work buddy and said he would only be a few hours, 5 hours later I'm at home freaking out because he hasn't responded to my texts and then his phone died. I didn't have his work buddies number either. He finally came home and was a little buzzed but not drunk, said he just lost track of time and BOY I LET HIM KNOW how he couldn't do that and how inconsiderate it was. A text was all I needed. He has never done it since. 


    Another time when we were in college dating he was leaving with some fraternity buddies to go to a conference and texted me "was in a wreck" and then STOPPED TEXTING ME FOR OVER AN HOUR. Everyone was totally fine, they just slid into a ditch and the car wasn't even damaged and then he fell back asleep. You bet now he knows I need a "this happened BUT I AM OK" text.


    image
    MissKittyDangerthisismynickname2OliveOilsMom
  • edited November 2017
    Story time about M's friend who thought he was being funny but had to apologize after because he didn't realize what happened

    This was a couple years ago {within about probably 6 months after my dad passed - yes relevant}

    We were invited to go to friend-X's place to watch football. Idgaf about it, so I opted to stay home. M went.

    Couple hours later, M hadn't texted me. Usually he does. I sent a text. No response, so I called. Voicemail, weird.
    I text friend-X asking if M could text me. Friend-X says he never showed up.
    WHAT THE EVER LOVING FUCK.
    I am sent into horrible panic mode that involves me being curled up on the floor SOBBING! I have horrible ideas that he's in a wreck, etc etc.

    M calls within 2 mins - after finding out what friend-X said and knowing what it would cause - saying he's beyond sorry. His phone was left in the car and friend-X didn't know what saying that would do.
    M offers to come home, but after talking {he's in the car calling me because he knew my state of being when he'd call} for a bit I calm down and no he doesn't need to come home.

    Friend-X later texts me apologizing. He thought he was being funny and didn't think about the joke.
    {for reference, friend-X has social issues so sometimes he thinks something would be funny no one else would. He could be on autism scale but we're not sure}


    Moral of the story, M never leaves his phone in the car when he's out and warns me if his phone is dying.
    Also shortly there after I was officially diagnosed with anxiety and PTSD
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