Wedding Woes

WWWWD (loss mentioned)

kaos16kaos16 member
Knottie Warrior 500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Answer
edited November 2017 in Wedding Woes

A dear, sweet coworker of mine confided in me that she just experienced a miscarriage.  She is back at work today, but it expectedly very upset.  I have never been in her position, nor have I been in the position of someone confiding in me like this before.  She hasn't told anyone else yet.  My first response to her was to express how sorry I was, and I told her to let me know if there is anything I can do for her. 

What else if anything would you say or do?

(I'm not sure if this is relevant to your answers, but she is in recovery. . . . she has been clean for about 3 years I believe)

Re: WWWWD (loss mentioned)

  • I think what you've offered is good. Sometimes knowing someone is there after a loss is what people want. Like @CharmedPam mentioned, lunch might be nice.

    Also maybe keep an eye on her. Sometimes body language says a lot more about a person than they realize
    short+sassyernursejholyguacamole79babe1990
  • Perhaps offer to grab a coffee and go for a walk with her. If there's a "walking route" near your office, perhaps that will give her the courage to take that route and go for walks on her own to help clear her mind someday. 
    MissKittyDangershort+sassyernursej
  • I think offering to be there for her is the best. If you guys normally sometimes grab lunch or coffee or whatever that might be good. The fact that she confided in you is good, and perhaps she hasn't told others because they are too close (if that makes any sense). 
    short+sassy
  • That was nice of you to try to distract her as that part is hard. I didn't tell anyone about my MC because it was pretty early on but then my H's step-sis announced her pregnancy soon after and the due date was 1 day after my estimated due date. That was tough news to hear 
    charlotte989875mrsconn23
  • I think you did a great job. Being there and listening is the best. Incredibly thoughtful that you went to support her so she wouldn’t have to listen to baby talk. 

    ❤️
    charlotte989875sparklepants41short+sassy
  • I honestly think you did great.  When I found out about my MC, I went in and worked the few days between finding out and the D&C.  I told the two ladies who worked in my cubicle farm.  I was 12 weeks, and people knew I was expecting, so I personally didn't hide the loss from anyone (not to make them uncomfortable, but cause they'd find out eventually). 

    My office sent me flowers (which I appreciated), and was otherwise pretty business as usual.  I'd say just follow her lead.  If she wants to talk about it she will, but don't bring it up unless she does.  I agree with PP about not overloading her with work right now (if you have any control over that), as I was pretty unproductive, and scattered for about a month - I still definitely got things done, but it was a lot more difficult.

    short+sassyOliveOilsMom
  • kaos16 said:

    Thanks everyone, great ideas! I appreciate it.

    Another coworker literally had a baby this morning. . . . when everyone started chatting about it in the main gathering room, I ran down to her office to chat, more to distract her from coming to the main room. 

    yeah, that would be so nice. i think you may do what you can to help her away from family or child related topics.
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