Uriel and I have been together for a year and a half now. We've known each other as good friends for five years and since the first day we were together we knew we wanted to get married. I was 19 by then. Even though we were so eager to start our life together we decided to wait because of my family, they didn't know Uriel (who was 30) very much (because I've never been the bring friends to home kind of girl), so we waited. Since then we've talked with my parents about marriage a few times and every time they said no because they wanted me to finish college first. Time passed and my entire family moved to Guadalajara, a big town far from here, and I stayed. My dad already lived there and now my mom, stepdad and sisters were moving. I didn't want to move, because that would mean that I would have to leave Uriel and start college over, so they allowed me to stay (not that they could have done much since I'm over 18, but they went peacefully). Before they left we talked about marriage again with my parents but they again said no. The thing is that my dad didn't agree because he thought that either I should move with everyone to Guadalajara, or I should have gotten married and stayed (but no one ever told me my dad thought like that).
Anyway in winter break they came and Uriel talked to my mom about giving me the engagement ring WITHOUT talking about wedding dates. She agreed, she told him he was a good man for me and everything. Uriel gave me the ring, and we were really happy dreaming of our wedding this year (2013). I talked to my dad and now he is really OK with us marrying whenever we want, he supports us and he is really happy I am happy.
The problem is, my mom doesn't want me to get married this year. She wants me to finish college and then think about marrying (that would mean I would start planning in December 2014). I've talked to her about what I want several times and everytime she makes a drama scene and says that if its this year she will not be part of the wedding nor anything.
I know my mom loves me and wants the best for me but I've thought of the consecuences of marrying before finishing and I still want to do this. This is no rush decision or anything. I've think this through. But she won't listen, it should be her way or not at all.
Everybody went back to Guadalajara. I talked to my dad and he tells me I should move on with what I want and deal with the consequences of my desicions. If my mom won't come nobody can make her come. But he says I should do what makes me happy.
I really want to get married in May, a day before my 21st Bday (Labor day). We've started a little planning, but I really want my mom to be OK with it and be a part of it.
My aunt told me she talked to her and that she sounds really sad. My dad has talked with my mom and they even fought because my dad thinks she should be here supporting me, but she won't. She is a proud woman, she even called Uriel, told him a lot of mean stuff (that he was breaking the family appart, that she didn't want to see him again and stuff) and hung up.
Even all of those things I still call her to invite her to be a part of it and she refuses. Just like that.
Sorry for the long post. I just wanted to share my story and read what you think and what your advice is.