Wedding Woes

Welcome to the real world, it sucks! You're gonna love it.

Dear Prudence,
I grew up in far-from-privileged circumstances, but I typically got what I wanted, particularly away from home. Maybe I just had a way with the adults in my life, but I considered myself a hard worker who demonstrated persistence and determination. Yet, now that I’m a sophomore in college, I’ve been forced to reckon with the fact that my peers—who, in this setting, have more influence—aren’t as easily persuaded by my own persistent efforts to achieve a goal. Over the past year and a half, there have been a number of setbacks where I’ve felt powerless to alter the outcome, which I’m not used to. Could you give some advice on how a college student could adjust to this change and leverage it for future success?
—How to Adjust to Not Getting Your Way?

Re: Welcome to the real world, it sucks! You're gonna love it.

  • Growing up. It’s rough. Volunteering really helped me get that life isn’t fair and hard work isn’t always enough. 
  • "Go to a state school...  Realize that the Doctor who graduates at the bottom of their class is still called Doctor, and the best doctors aren't always the ones who get the great residencies, but the ones who use that persistence and work ethic and turn the one they have into a great one... Move on and do something productive in life instead of focusing on grades!"  

    My guess is she took a "Group project" type class or three and discovered why she hates group projects...  
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  • This really sounds like a person who was moreso enabled and told they were special than "having a way with adults" and "demonstrating persistence and determination". 

    Now that they're in a world of actual equals, they're realizing they might not be as special as they think. LW is really only in the first stage of grief over this: denial. Time to start working through it.

  • Sounds like LW is used to getting what they want, were able to manipulate others into doing what they want, and for the first time are encountering push back. 

    So yeah, welcome to the real world, not everyone is going to do everything you want them to. 
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