If you need to cut costs, get married at City Hall

ms_teach · June 2010

"I'll save my other ideas for how to manage a wedding budget for future blog posts—but here's a preview: Sell tickets to your guests."

http://www.slate.com/blogs/blogs/browbeat/archive/2010/06/24/in-defense-of-1.aspx?GT1=38001

Just one of MSN's highlighted articles this morning.

MeaghanandMichael · June 2010

Sounds like butthurt greedy guest syndrome.

My money is on this guy never had a wedding.

MeaghanandMichael · June 2010

oh, and I am guessing the ticket thing was a huge joke in the context of how he thinks couple should be spending money on him and his flavor of the month rather than their weddings...

ms_teach · June 2010

I second the whole, never married thing.

As far as selling tickets, while I was trying on dresses my consultant was talking about how expensive weddings have become. She said her daughter's was outrageous and that they hosted a gold tournament. I thought she meant they paid for everyone to play a round of golf or something. But.... they actually charged guests to play in order to raise money. Not so classy IMO.

MarriedInAFever · June 2010

Tickets? FFS. I don't even know what to say to that.

maratea · June 2010

Another way to save money? Cut the guest list. This guy would be the first to go.

ms_teach · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_need-cut-costs-married-city-hall?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:60601fbc-15ed-4789-ae0d-7a6d5664ab5fPost:58d77f45-49e1-4af7-909f-1ff0dbaa435f">Re: If you need to cut costs, get married at City Hall</a>:
[QUOTE]Another way to save money? Cut the guest list. This guy would be the first to go.
Posted by maratea[/QUOTE]

No kidding! He's probably the +1 everyone fears.

jennylove810 · June 2010

I haven't clicked the link yet, but along the 'weddings are so expensive' lines, I always thought a morning church ceremony, followed by a simple backyard brunch & mimosas reception would have been, for me, the way to go. I'm not complaining about the reception I'm actually having... I'm actually very grateful... but as I'm nearing the 3-month mark I sometimes get kind of wistful for that simpler plan.

::goes off to read blog::

sarahmk5 · June 2010

I'm just laughing at one of the suggested articles from it - "Have the Obamas spawned a sex frenzy?"

MeaghanandMichael · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_need-cut-costs-married-city-hall?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:60601fbc-15ed-4789-ae0d-7a6d5664ab5fPost:7e67908f-b98f-4722-b695-3c13a2b2993b">Re: If you need to cut costs, get married at City Hall</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: If you need to cut costs, get married at City Hall : No kidding! He's probably the +1 everyone fears.
Posted by ms_teach[/QUOTE]

Yeah, he is probably the guy who FREAKS out when there is no open bar. I mean, we all know how I feel about an open bar - but I would never freak about it at the wedding.

I do understand he got screwed by his own brother here, but really? Really?

ms_teach · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_need-cut-costs-married-city-hall?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:60601fbc-15ed-4789-ae0d-7a6d5664ab5fPost:02035319-094e-46c3-8919-4654fa719f46">Re: If you need to cut costs, get married at City Hall</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm just laughing at one of the suggested articles from it - "Have the Obamas spawned a sex frenzy?"
Posted by sarahmk5[/QUOTE]

I didn't see that one. I was distracted by the little girl kicks ass and drops c-word one, which was a total let down.

sarah0725 · June 2010

In both cases he gave, though, he probably should have been offered a +1. In the first, he was in a serious relationship, and in the second, he was the best man. If the brides in those weddings had come here to ask whether he would have been allowed to have a guest in those situations, we would have said yes.

And I got the idea that the whole "sell tickets" thing was tongue in cheek.

jennylove810 · June 2010

Ok this guy's point (a wedding sucks without a +1) is valid, but regardless, he can suck it.

If he's so offended that his flavor of the week isn't being invited, he can simply decline. Is that really so hard these days?

ms_teach · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_need-cut-costs-married-city-hall?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:60601fbc-15ed-4789-ae0d-7a6d5664ab5fPost:26440235-ef4c-4f64-a7f6-3d81bf58ad72">Re: If you need to cut costs, get married at City Hall</a>:
[QUOTE]Someone needs to teach this guy how to check "NO" on the RSVP cards.
Posted by Champagne Supernova[/QUOTE]

That's kind of where I thought he was going when he mentioned his brother's wedding. We're doing +1s. Obviously, I think people in serious relationships deserve them. I personally don't even mind +1s for single guests because I think it's more fun with a date. However, his attitude makes him come across as an ass. It gets conversations started though, so I guess he wins.

APW2010 · June 2010

I read this article and I just knew there'd be people here talking about it

While I believe in +1s in most cases, I hate his tone. He makes me want to drop the +1 just to spite him.... I wonder if that's what really happened with his brother :P

NuggetBrain · June 2010

The fact he talked about how he "hand selects" his +1s makes him sound like an ass - they're women, not produce. Thanks but no thanks, douche - he's probably that guy who ends up half naked trying to dirty dance with your grandma by 11pm.

Labrnr · June 2010

Personaly, I agree with him.

You can't invite singles to a wedding without a plus one. They only way I would be comfortable going to a wedding alone is if I was part of a work-group or close group that were all going together.

How many of you have been invited to weddings without your SO?

I was only once, my SO was offended, but it was part of a work group invite.

NuggetBrain · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_need-cut-costs-married-city-hall?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:60601fbc-15ed-4789-ae0d-7a6d5664ab5fPost:85307039-3dbe-413f-89dc-3436ef165b02">Re: If you need to cut costs, get married at City Hall</a>:
[QUOTE]Personaly, I agree with him.

Of course you do, Labia. Of course you do.

You can't invite singles to a wedding without a plus one.

Why not? Will the wedding be invalid? Will the groom catch on fire, or minister refuse to show because you didn't invite Susie Q's flavor of the month?

They only way I would be comfortable going to a wedding alone is if I was part of a work-group or close group that were all going together.

Then you decline. It's an invitation, not a royal summons. You don't HAVE to go. Keep your uppity ass at home. I'm sure everyone would be happier that way anyways.

Posted by Labrnr[/QUOTE]

BecW2be · June 2010

labia? DED!

quotequeen · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_need-cut-costs-married-city-hall?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:60601fbc-15ed-4789-ae0d-7a6d5664ab5fPost:85307039-3dbe-413f-89dc-3436ef165b02">Re: If you need to cut costs, get married at City Hall</a>:
[QUOTE]Personaly, I agree with him. You can't invite singles to a wedding without a plus one. They only way I would be comfortable going to a wedding alone is if I was part of a work-group or close group that were all going together. How many of you have been invited to weddings without your SO? I was only once, my SO was offended, but it was part of a work group invite.
Posted by Labrnr[/QUOTE]

If you have an SO then you're not single. These are two entirely different scenarios. Inviting somebody who is in a serious relationship alone is a breach of etiquette. Inviting somebody who is single alone is not, although some people (including me) are opposed to it anyhow.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_need-cut-costs-married-city-hall?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:60601fbc-15ed-4789-ae0d-7a6d5664ab5fPost:e212130b-84d0-4bf5-8fa3-e758196956b4">Re: If you need to cut costs, get married at City Hall</a>:
[QUOTE]I second the whole, never married thing. As far as selling tickets, while I was trying on dresses my consultant was talking about how expensive weddings have become. She said her daughter's was outrageous and that they hosted a gold tournament. I thought she meant they paid for everyone to play a round of golf or something. But.... they actually charged guests to play in order to raise money. Not so classy IMO.
Posted by ms_teach[/QUOTE]

Well, then they weren't really hosting, now were they.

I think Dear Abby had someone write a letter last week about attending a party where they all got pedicures and when she got home the MOH called her and told her she "forgot to pay" for her pedicure. She was a bit put off.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · June 2010

I skimmed the article and I have to say though - I'd rather a couple skew towards inviting plus 1s rather than not. If you are dating someone, they should get an invite, period. Truly single people don't NEED plus ones, but it's certainly a nice gesture. And yes, I'd make sure all my guests had at least the option of bringing their friend or roommate (so they could feel comfortable) before I maxed out my flower budget or added a few more passed apps. Then again, I'm not inviting everyone I've ever met to my wedding, so there's room for guests. (Frankly, if someone has an "intimate affair" that's all the more reason to allow plus 1s - less chance they'll know someone at the wedding, more room to allow a few extras.)

I hate cut-offs like "6 months of dating," "one year of dating," or "living together." I'm sorry, but who the hell are you to presume how serious a couple is based on some random, external marker?

loritajean · June 2010

I think +1's are necessary sometimes. I have a few friends I'm inviting who wont know many people there. They all get a +1 so they can bring a friend, bf, whatever.

There were only a few cases where I didn't know the person's SO, and a bunch of their friends were going to be there anyway. Only one person got a bit upset, but didn't make a fuss.

I think this guy's a douche. I see his point (kind of), but he needs to realize that people can invite whomever they like to their wedding. If he doesn't like going alone, he shouldn't go.

hugz415 · July 2010

He is a d-bag. If his hand-selected dates are so much fun then they can go have a great time somewhere else.

I'm handling my +1s on a case-by-case basis. General cut-offs are hard to stick to. My FIs single friends are all from different "friend groups" and won't know alot of people so they get +1s. My friends all know each other and have a great time so I didn't have to worry about them - alot of my other friends have done the same so they are already used to it.

If you need to cut costs, get married at City Hall

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