Etiquette

Are we properly hosting out wedding? Kind of a destination wedding, on a budget

My fiance and I are planning our wedding for August of 2018 with 50 people. Neither of us have any experience with weddings and we only have 10k to spend.

We live in northern Florida and none of our family or friends live here. Both of our sets of parents live in South Florida. The rest of our family is spread all over. My paternal grandparents are in Tennessee. His are in new York. My maternal grandparents live in the Caribbean. My uncle lives in Malta. My stepdads family lives in Haiti as does his aunt. Our friends are also spread all over. We chose to have the wedding in South Florida because it will be easier for our families to fly into and it's close to both of our parents, so it is a destination wedding for us but still pretty familiar.

My main concern is that the wedding is on a thursday. My family is ok with it because we are used to making long trips when events happen because we are so spread out. We are doing it the first week of August so that the kids are out of school. The issue is with my fiances side of the family. He doesn't have a very close relationship with anyone outside of his nuclear family. He is inviting them because he has fond memories growing up with them and he doesn't want to hurt anybody. He says most of them don't work regular 9-5 jobs so it shouldn't be an issue since they're not guaranteed weekends off anyway and he doesn't care if a lot of people decline. 

My second concern is that we are only able to afford a beer, wine, and soft drink bar. It will be for the entire 4 hours and nobody will need to open their wallets. But is that enough when people are traveling so far?


As for the rest of it, I think we did ok. The ceremony and reception are at the same venue. There will be plenty of seating. There are tons of hotels nearby in different price ranges. We will have a buffet with baked ziti, parmesan crusted chicken, bread, salad, mashed potatoes, green beans, zucchini and squash. There will also be wedding cake and a black cake, which is what my family traditionally serves at weddings.

We got the cheapest photographer we could find. I got my dress on sale at davids bridal. We are not doing professional hair/makeup. We are not doing real florals or any expensive decorations or upgrades. 

Is there anything we need to fix so that we are hosting our guests properly?

Re: Are we properly hosting out wedding? Kind of a destination wedding, on a budget

  • My fiance and I are planning our wedding for August of 2018 with 50 people. Neither of us have any experience with weddings and we only have 10k to spend.

    We live in northern Florida and none of our family or friends live here. Both of our sets of parents live in South Florida. The rest of our family is spread all over. My paternal grandparents are in Tennessee. His are in new York. My maternal grandparents live in the Caribbean. My uncle lives in Malta. My stepdads family lives in Haiti as does his aunt. Our friends are also spread all over. We chose to have the wedding in South Florida because it will be easier for our families to fly into and it's close to both of our parents, so it is a destination wedding for us but still pretty familiar.

    My main concern is that the wedding is on a thursday. My family is ok with it because we are used to making long trips when events happen because we are so spread out. We are doing it the first week of August so that the kids are out of school. The issue is with my fiances side of the family. He doesn't have a very close relationship with anyone outside of his nuclear family. He is inviting them because he has fond memories growing up with them and he doesn't want to hurt anybody. He says most of them don't work regular 9-5 jobs so it shouldn't be an issue since they're not guaranteed weekends off anyway and he doesn't care if a lot of people decline. 

    My second concern is that we are only able to afford a beer, wine, and soft drink bar. It will be for the entire 4 hours and nobody will need to open their wallets. But is that enough when people are traveling so far?


    As for the rest of it, I think we did ok. The ceremony and reception are at the same venue. There will be plenty of seating. There are tons of hotels nearby in different price ranges. We will have a buffet with baked ziti, parmesan crusted chicken, bread, salad, mashed potatoes, green beans, zucchini and squash. There will also be wedding cake and a black cake, which is what my family traditionally serves at weddings.

    We got the cheapest photographer we could find. I got my dress on sale at davids bridal. We are not doing professional hair/makeup. We are not doing real florals or any expensive decorations or upgrades. 

    Is there anything we need to fix so that we are hosting our guests properly?
    It sounds as though you are. You need a chair for everyone, food and drinks, and no one to open their wallet at the reception. 

    Just remember that you are not obligated to invite people just because they are family. 
    charlotte989875ahoyweddingshort+sassySP29
  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic Indiana
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    member
    It sounds like you have things covered - open bar, chairs for everyone, food and different price ranges for hotels. Beer, wine and soft drinks are fine since that is what you can afford. It would not be ok to have a cash bar with hard liquor. I think you are doing things fine. Best wishes!
    charlotte989875ahoyweddingshort+sassySP29
  • Sounds like you are planning a lovely wedding
    SP29
  • All sounds good. It is better to have an open bar with only a few drinks available than to have a cash bar with everything available.
    image
    InLoveInQueensshort+sassySP29
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston
    10000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    member
    Everything you have planned sounds good. I personally would have planned the wedding for a weekend but that's me. A beer, wine and soft drinks bar is perfectly okay.
  • Your plans sound fine.  My only issue would be August in Florida.  I hate hot weather.  You are going to be inside with air conditioning, so that is good.  Have a lovely wedding!
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    short+sassy
  • I think you are doing a great job. I had my wedding on a weekday which was better for our families and friends. Even those that work 9-5 still told us that they preferred the weekday wedding as it didn’t screw up a weekend for them. The majority of our guest list was from in town so may be different for you with majority of people from out of town. 

    Enjoy your wedding!
    charlotte989875
  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    member
    My DIL’s family is from Guyana, and introduced me to black cake at Christmas a few years ago.  It is delicious!

    Your wedding sounds lovely.  
  • I think it sound really nice! Italian food is one of my favorite things to be served buffet style
    eileenrobcharlotte989875
  • Jen4948 said:
    Everything you have planned sounds good. I personally would have planned the wedding for a weekend but that's me. A beer, wine and soft drinks bar is perfectly okay.
    We tried for a weekend, but we would have had to give up alcohol and the dj which would have made for a pretty boring affair for people traveling so far. Or we would have to go with an outdoor venue which is miserable in Florida in August.

    Luckily, the Thursday date seems to be working out. We have a lot of healthcare workers and people with flexible jobs.
    charlotte989875short+sassy
  • CMGragain said:
    Your plans sound fine.  My only issue would be August in Florida.  I hate hot weather.  You are going to be inside with air conditioning, so that is good.  Have a lovely wedding!
    Oh yes, the heat can be brutal. Luckily, everything is inside and the parking lot is close by! Hopefully, that keeps everyone comfy.
    short+sassy
  • Sounds lovely!
  • Sounds like a nice wedding!  Especially since a Thursday works for your crowd.
  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 a taco truck in Houston
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    member
    Hosting wise, I think it sounds fantastic!  My only caution would to be to review your contracts and discuss with your vendors what contingency plan(s) are in place in case of a hurricane (as it will be during hurricane season).   Otherwise,




    Anniversary
    ILoveBeachMusiccharlotte989875short+sassySP29
  • Your bar is perfectly fine. You are not obligated to serve liquor. 

    Obviously you already know a wedding on a Thursday may result in a higher decline rate and if you're ok with that, then just move on from worrying about it. In terms of being concerned about it being convenient for FH's family....he's not close with them anyway. As a reality check, if I got invited an out of state wedding for someone I wasn't close with, I would send a nice card with a decline. Most people would. If these people decline, they'd probably decline whether it was a Saturday wedding or a Thursday wedding.
    *********************************************************************************

    image
    short+sassySP29
  • CharmedPamCharmedPam Chicagoburbs
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    member
    I had a midweek out of town wedding (Tuesday) and around your guest count (65) what you're offering is fine.  Sounds really good!

  • auriannaaurianna
    Seventh Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    member
    edited January 11
    Hosting sounds spot on.

    Now... Thursday is going to inconvenience some people. It's just a fact. But if it presents a hardship for anyone they aren't obligated to come. And some people may be fine with it (It's almost always cheaper to fly on a wednesday or thursday than a friday)

    As long as your VIPs are good, sounds great. Best wishes!
    short+sassy
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