Dear Prudence,
I have been dating an amazing man for the past six months. We are still at the “sleeping over several times a week” stage. We are absolutely incapable of sharing a bed and getting enough sleep. We have sex and cuddle a while, then he slips off to my guest room and sleeps there for the night. He says my bed is too soft. When I stay at his place, I think his bed is too hard. Our sleep styles are wildly different, and we’re both in our mid-30s and a bit set in our ways. He burritos himself in the bedclothes; I insist that the sheets must be tucked in order for me to feel secure. We both snore like banshees. We’ve talked about it, and I told him I was seriously bummed that we could not spend the night together, but I have to admit that we are much more rested when we sleep apart. His parents sleep apart for the same reasons, so he is much less bothered by this than I am. Is this a cause for concern in this budding but very promising relationship (I can see myself marrying him!), or is it just the reasonable accommodations adults must make?
—A Problem That’s Not a Problem