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Kind of Destination Wedding Post-Wedding (Day After) Party (ETA a ptnl etiquette issue I forgot abou

HandBananaHandBanana member
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edited April 2018 in Wedding Etiquette Forum
Sister of the Groom and BM here. Bride/Groom live in CA and wedding is in Groom's hometown, where I currently live. Almost all guests other than Groom's family are oot guests. MOG and the MOB plan on co-hosting a day after open house style party in honor of the newlyweds for anyone/everyone to gather. It will be informal and at my home. 

I'm looking for any pointers/etiquette things I may not be aware of or things I may be flubbing. Wording suggestions would be especially helpful.

All I have thus far is "Eat, Drink and They're Married! Please join us post-wedding celebration in honor of the newlyweds." We are also planning to do an electronic invite and via word of mouth. I'm not sure the etiquette on this since it is an informal gathering.

Any help is much appreciated. Thank you!

ETA and there will already be an issue with some of Groom's family not being able to or not attending this party. A cousin decided that she will throw her kid's jr high graduation party the day after since family will be around anyway. I guess a question would be is this an acceptable etiquette thing to throw this post-wedding party since cousin has announced her party? We had been planning to do this but hadn't gotten invites out since the wedding isn't till July. Cousin hasn't sent invites but has announced her plan on Groom's family group online and to family in person.
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Re: Kind of Destination Wedding Post-Wedding (Day After) Party (ETA a ptnl etiquette issue I forgot abou

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    Thank you. 

    I was thinking an evite shared through the wedding website but I'm really not familiar with how evite works.

    We plan is to invite the full guest list so eeeeeee. This will be technically the biggest party I've ever had since their guestlist is larger than my wedding guestlist.
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    I think the Day-After party sounds great!  Like @OliveOilsMom, I'm also assuming that food and beverages will be provided for those guests. 

    My H and I live in NOLA, but I got married in my hometown in CA.  Half our guests were local to the area and the other half was family that had traveled there.  We did something similar, though just for family (not all the guests).  Invites were word of mouth.  It was a few trays of Mexican food, ordered from a local place, with mimosas and other beverages.  I loved it!  It was a great way to decompress after the wedding, hang out and spend more time with family that I rarely see. 

    I don't think you, your brother, or his FI should concern yourselves with what Cousin is doing.  Nothing wrong with having both parties on the same day.  Especially since your all's is more of a "drop-in and out" type of flow.  It seems like guests could attend part of both parties, if they wanted to.  Or chose one or the other.  NBD, either way.

    As a snarky aside, I've never heard of a jr. high graduation party.  But maybe they just weren't done back in my day or my area and they are now, lol.

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    Thank you and that party sounds lovely.

    It has been difficult to not snark out about this party being thrown by Cousin. Future SIL is actually less annoyed than me about it.
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    edited April 2018
    There is no etiquette rule against the cousin throwing her child's graduation party the day after the wedding. I question the wisdom of throwing a huge Junior HS grad party, but whatever, but that's up to her. :eyeroll: Some of the guests may decline one party or the other or attend both. 

    Electronic invites for your open house are fine. Phone those you can't reach via internet. I also think it's fine to post the time and driving directions on the wedding website, with a note that all the wedding guests are invited. 

    The hosts of the open house should plan on providing enough food appropriate to the time of day for the number of guests invited. For that reason, and since the invite list is huge, I would request an RSVP a week out. Phone call and email responses are fine.

                       
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    We're hosting a day after brunch for our guests and including an enclosure card in our invitation suite and putting info on the wedding website. We're doing online RSVPs, and will collect RSVPs for this at the same time as we collect them for the wedding
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    There is no etiquette rule against the cousin throwing her child's graduation party the day after the wedding. I question the wisdom of throwing a huge Junior HS grad party, but whatever, but that's up to her. :eyeroll: Some of the guests may decline one party or the other or attend both. 

    Electronic invites for your open house are fine. Phone those you can't reach via internet. I also think it's fine to post the time and driving directions on the wedding website, with a note that all the wedding guests are invited. 

    The hosts of the open house should plan on providing enough food appropriate to the time of day for the number of guests invited. For that reason, and since the invite list is huge, I would request an RSVP a week out. Phone call and email responses are fine.

    All of this.


    I would relax a bit about the grad party.   For many people it's really convenient to piggyback on an event when all are in town.   6 years ago I hosted SIL's baby shower the day after a family wedding.    Guests were in town for the wedding and it was just easier to host the shower that weekend rather than ask everyone to make the trip for another time.  


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    We had an "open house" brunch at our house the day after our wedding as well. I'm pretty sure we called it an open house because my mom said people know that wording means you can drop by any time between the hours listed on the invite. Not sure if that's true, but that's what happened and it worked perfectly.

    We invited all OOT guests, which ended up being both of our extended families and some of my friends (H grew up around here). We didn't ask for RSVPs, but my mom and I are both ALWAYS make too much food anyway, so we planned that everyone invited would come for at least a little bit and still ended up with leftovers. Most of our guests were leaving town that day, so we started around 11. Things wrapped up around 2 or 3ish, so we still had plenty of time to relax and unwind.
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    Junior high grad parties are NBD - I'd just be considerate on the timing and plan yours more as a brunch time so there's a smooth transition time.  OR, see if you can work together to do both at the same time with the expanded guest list.

    Also agreed - the older I get, the more I appreciate when OOT for an event getting multiple things "celebrated" all at once.  Please don't get uptight if someone wants to have their event as a piggyback as long as it's not the same day as the wedding, that's all that matters!
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    We have always hosted something to celebrate the end of the elementary years and the start of high school.  It was simply just the same immediate (and local) family as would be included at any holiday function.  I would be even more eager to host something if family not typically in the area, and thus probably not typically included in this event, were going to be near.
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