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Wedding 911
Knottiee2125053d09a62b4
member
Too Many RSVPs!
in Wedding 911
Hi all,
FI and I made the mistake of over-inviting and estimating too low... we had a lot of people coming from out of town and were simply overly optimistic because FI's family is huge and we wanted to be able to invite more. Now the wedding is in 2 weeks out and we're over our estimate... by a lot.
Our reception is in a family member's backyard and that's just a matter of setting our more seats and informing the caterer. Unfortunately, the ceremony venue has a contract-listed max guest count and we've passed it. What the contract doesn't list is what happens if more guests come (do they get kicked out? do we pay a fee?)
What to do? One some sites, the max count for the venue is listed higher, so there's some hope that the site manager is just being conservative and wouldn't mind adding some more chairs if we ask. But what if they tell us we have to find another venue? With the wedding party standing, we might be able to get by with the max number of actual chairs, but even that is contingent on a couple of no-shows or toddlers sitting in moms' laps (and it would still be obvious if the venue decided to count that the total # of people is well over...)
Has anyone else had this issue, and what did you do?
FI and I made the mistake of over-inviting and estimating too low... we had a lot of people coming from out of town and were simply overly optimistic because FI's family is huge and we wanted to be able to invite more. Now the wedding is in 2 weeks out and we're over our estimate... by a lot.
Our reception is in a family member's backyard and that's just a matter of setting our more seats and informing the caterer. Unfortunately, the ceremony venue has a contract-listed max guest count and we've passed it. What the contract doesn't list is what happens if more guests come (do they get kicked out? do we pay a fee?)
What to do? One some sites, the max count for the venue is listed higher, so there's some hope that the site manager is just being conservative and wouldn't mind adding some more chairs if we ask. But what if they tell us we have to find another venue? With the wedding party standing, we might be able to get by with the max number of actual chairs, but even that is contingent on a couple of no-shows or toddlers sitting in moms' laps (and it would still be obvious if the venue decided to count that the total # of people is well over...)
Has anyone else had this issue, and what did you do?
Re: Too Many RSVPs!
To any lurkers and anyone new to wedding planning: you need to plan your wedding with the assumption that everyone you invite will show up, no matter how unlikely it seems. You cannot invite more than either your ceremony or reception venue can handle and hope for the best.
Also bear in mind that it is not necessarily the venue that controls and can "waive" their capacity count. There are city and fire laws that cannot be breached.
I certainly hope your reception can accommodate this number beyond chairs. Do you have enough parking, restroom facilities, etc., to ensure your guests are comfortable?
You need to contact your ceremony venue immediately and find out how you can accommodate your guests. If they can't, you'll have to find a new venue.
Contact your venue ASAP to see what the next steps are. If they can't legally or physically seat everyone in the ceremony space, you need to find a new venue immediately.
As far as the reception site, do you have enough parking, seating, and bathrooms for the additional guests? Can you afford the catering to still provide the same level of service now that you have more guests than you planned for? For example, if your reception will be at meal time, can you still afford to provide a full meal to all guests? How does that family member feel about the extra number of people at their home?
Lesson for lurkers: plan for 100% attendance. We had a TON of guests coming from far away (like most of both of our families) and were surprised with some of the people who came. We planned and budgeted for 100% attendance though, so it wasn't a problem. If nothing else, it will be a nice surprise at the end if you can upgrade food or drink options, or have some money left over!
Thanks for the advice, all.
We will be fine on bathrooms, catering, parking, etc. We have already checked all that with the planner.
Luckily, in an emergency, the reception site can accommodate us for a ceremony. We're taking to the venue tonight to see what the situation is.
When inviting guests, there is no "80/20" rule or any other situation that allows you to plan for any number of guests less than 100%. You need to assume that everyone invited will be attending and plan accordingly until any of them actually decline the invitation. You can't invite someone while assuming that they won't accept -- regardless of whether it is likely that they will decline.