DIY Wedding Forum

Writing a Friend's Ceremony - Incorporating her daughter ????

HI,
I am trying to find nice ways to incorporate a 3.5 year old girl into the ceremony. her mother is getting married and we would like to think of a nice way to show the groom's commitment to her and the start of their family. Any ideas? Thanks!!

Re: Writing a Friend's Ceremony - Incorporating her daughter ????

  • Ok, thank you but the family would like to do this so I am looking for ideas to help. I understand it is not to everyone's liking, but I am asking for people who have done this, how they have done so. I am asking only for ways to do it in the ceremony and not alternatives at this time. Thank you
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    edited August 2018
    Ladeda123 said:
    Ok, thank you but the family would like to do this so I am looking for ideas to help. I understand it is not to everyone's liking, but I am asking for people who have done this, how they have done so. I am asking only for ways to do it in the ceremony and not alternatives at this time. Thank you
    Tell the family no. Just because they make a request does not require you to agree to it.

    The only persons for whom it is appropriate to "make commitments to one another" at wedding ceremonies are the couple getting married. Their children 1) aren't getting married and 2) can't legally consent to anything.

    Also, even if the family did this, how much would those "vows" be worth if the couple divorces? And what if the children don't want to do this?

    PS - it's not up to you how anyone here responds to your questions. You asked for our opinions on the entirety of your post by the act of posting in this forum, and we have every right to dissuade you from doing anything we believe is a violation of etiquette or otherwise a bad idea. Not only that, but an "I didn't ask you!" attitude comes off as very immature.
    ahoyweddingInLoveInQueensSTARMOON44ei34
  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold bend over and I'll show ya mod
    Moderator 5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its
    Yeah I agree that including a child in a wedding ceremony is inappropriate and honestly kind of weird. Sure the kid is a part of their life - a huge part - but a marriage is between two people and is essentially a legal contract. The kid is not an equal partner here. 

    I get that you didn't ask for our opinions, but if I came here and asked whether I should serve squirrel or bear at my wedding, I sure as shit would hope that everyone would tell me that neither are good options and I need to serve something more universally appealing. 
    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
    ahoyweddinglevioosasparklepants41
  • There are other ways to include the 3.5yo (Holding the Bridal Bouquet for example - so when she twirls it around and whacks Grandma it's caught on camera!)...  I wouldn't recommend a 3.5yo light any candles even with help because 3.5 is just around the age that they're figuring out how to blow out their own Birthday candles.  

    Also, this 100% depends on what the relationship with the child's biological father is.  If it's a case where the Groom is going to be legally adopting the child, or the Bio Dad is deceased, that's one thing, but otherwise, the reasons the PP have mentioned...
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    sparklepants41
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