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Wedding Woes

Maybe you didn't prepare your staff for your absence?

Dear Prudence,

I work for a small company and supervise two people. Over the last two months, I had to take several weeks off to help care for a parent in hospice care. After the funeral, I returned to work to find out that the work I had to delegate to my staff was either undone or only partially completed. I also found out that they had taken numerous complaints to our director about how I was overworking them while I was away. I have always treated them with respect and overlooked any attendance issues and limited work output because they have young families. I didn’t have to work when I was raising my family, so I can only imagine how hard it is to have to be a single mom. Their workload is very light in the summer months. My boss has never approached me about any issues they brought up, and I am confident he understands that they were just complaining because they had to actually work hard for two months.

My problem is that I cannot get over the betrayal I feel toward them and their efforts to stab me in the back while I was caring for a dying parent after all I have done for them. I have always looked out for them and gone to bat for them. I have used limited funds in my budget to get them expensive training in cities that they couldn’t afford on their own. I usually don’t have a “victim” mentality but cannot get over this betrayal. How do I do that

—Backstabbers

Re: Maybe you didn't prepare your staff for your absence?

  • mrsconn23 said:

    Dear Prudence,

    I work for a small company and supervise two people. Over the last two months, I had to take several weeks off to help care for a parent in hospice care. After the funeral, I returned to work to find out that the work I had to delegate to my staff was either undone or only partially completed. I also found out that they had taken numerous complaints to our director about how I was overworking them while I was away. I have always treated them with respect and overlooked any attendance issues and limited work output because they have young families. I didn’t have to work when I was raising my family, so I can only imagine how hard it is to have to be a single mom. Their workload is very light in the summer months. My boss has never approached me about any issues they brought up, and I am confident he understands that they were just complaining because they had to actually work hard for two months.

    My problem is that I cannot get over the betrayal I feel toward them and their efforts to stab me in the back while I was caring for a dying parent after all I have done for them. I have always looked out for them and gone to bat for them. I have used limited funds in my budget to get them expensive training in cities that they couldn’t afford on their own. I usually don’t have a “victim” mentality but cannot get over this betrayal. How do I do that

    —Backstabbers

    This LW needs to look at the body of their work as a whole and determine if the issue is a lack of instructions or if the issue is that their workload increased as a result of staff shortage and they're butthurt about being stuck taking on one person's workload split between two people.

    There isn't enough to know if the people weren't trained or if they're irritated that they had to add what could be half a full time workload to their schedule.   If that's the case then the LW and upper management should have reviewed this more appropriately and come up with a better plan to shift the workload around more than two people.   When I was on maternity leave the workload was spread either around 3 people or to a temp.    

    Also, LW should sit down with her subordinates to review their productivity.   If she isn't being clear on their expectations then there are assumptions being made on both sides.  
  • It's hard to tell from the context...and I question if the LW even knows...how the complaints were made.  To me, there is a difference between:

    "Big Boss, Jane and myself are really trying to keep up with LW's workload.  But, between that and our own, we're struggling."  Said either as a legit concern to discuss solutions or to answer for/anticipate shortcomings the BB will notice.

    vs.

    "Big Boss, LW just took off and left us with all the work.  LW has been gone a long time now and it's not fair LW put us in this position.  LW is always overworking us."

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • If there's one thing I've learned in my working life, it's that most people want to do the bare ass minimum and want everyone to know they're the hardest working and busiest person in the building. 

    If I were LW, I'd let this go, but I have to be honest that I might not be as kind the next time they a favor from me.


    As a funny aside.  I recently had one of my coworkers comment to me "Wow!  You were here so late last night!  I was here late myself, but your car was still in the parking lot when I left.  You do work late a lot.  I always see your car."

    That would be my car that is and has been broken down for almost two months, lol.  It's a long story, but I'll finally be towing it to the mechanic next week.

    But it made me laugh.  Wondering how many coworkers think I'm this workaholic.  Because my car is there when they get to work.  No matter how early it is.  And it is there when they leave.  No matter how late, lol.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • If there's one thing I've learned in my working life, it's that most people want to do the bare ass minimum and want everyone to know they're the hardest working and busiest person in the building. 

    If I were LW, I'd let this go, but I have to be honest that I might not be as kind the next time they a favor from me.


    As a funny aside.  I recently had one of my coworkers comment to me "Wow!  You were here so late last night!  I was here late myself, but your car was still in the parking lot when I left.  You do work late a lot.  I always see your car."

    That would be my car that is and has been broken down for almost two months, lol.  It's a long story, but I'll finally be towing it to the mechanic next week.

    But it made me laugh.  Wondering how many coworkers think I'm this workaholic.  Because my car is there when they get to work.  No matter how early it is.  And it is there when they leave.  No matter how late, lol.

    There was a similar episode of Seinfeld where George I think locked his keys in his car. And everyone thought he was working late hours. 

    I've been a manager for quite a few years, both in small companies and large companies. And I knew I was an effective manager if I could go away, and there were no major issues, either with my work or my team's work. Part of being a manager is empowering your team, where they want to get the work down, want to put in the effort. Sure, these two employees could just be assholes that don't want to work. But I find it telling that they to her boss. 
  • some employees are just too good to be treated as well as you had been treating them. maybe they think that it's your obligation to pay them for training and disregarding it rather than thanking you for it. i guess that this might also because you had been doing all the major jobs yourself and when they have to do it when you're absent, it's stressing them and that's why they're telling your LW that you're overworking them. but i guess your LW would also understand and won't judge just by their pov
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