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Wedding Woes
mrsconn23
member
They're all monsters
in Wedding Woes
Dear Prudence,
I just found out my mother has been telling her family about our private conversations and my most sensitive secrets. It took me decades to get the courage to tell her about the abuse I experienced while in foster care until I was 11. From ages 6 to 9, I was sometimes put in diapers as punishment even though I had no issues with incontinence. I was kept in them all day while everyone laughed and call me a baby. The shame made me keep it a secret all these years. I finally got the courage to tell my mother what happened, and she told her brothers and sisters. Now they chuckle and make sly remarks whenever they see me. I’m so devastated and ashamed I often cry. Though I no longer confide in my mother, I can’t take this secret back. What can I do to stop the humiliating teasing from my relatives?
—Mother Embarrassed Me
I just found out my mother has been telling her family about our private conversations and my most sensitive secrets. It took me decades to get the courage to tell her about the abuse I experienced while in foster care until I was 11. From ages 6 to 9, I was sometimes put in diapers as punishment even though I had no issues with incontinence. I was kept in them all day while everyone laughed and call me a baby. The shame made me keep it a secret all these years. I finally got the courage to tell my mother what happened, and she told her brothers and sisters. Now they chuckle and make sly remarks whenever they see me. I’m so devastated and ashamed I often cry. Though I no longer confide in my mother, I can’t take this secret back. What can I do to stop the humiliating teasing from my relatives?
—Mother Embarrassed Me
Re: They're all monsters
My heart hurts for LW. That's so terrible.
But frankly all of those people sound toxic. So rather than trying to get them to change expect them to be the same and don't put yourself in their presence.
If LW is an adult? Cut these people out because they’re horrible.
I vote cut ties, assuming LW is an adult.
Exactly my thoughts.
And these are the aunts and uncles who didn't step in to care for the LW when he/she was a child either. Not that I think aunts/uncles are necessarily obligated to, but still.
I wonder if the LW still keeps in touch with the kind of people who find child abuse funny, because he/she probably yearned so much for a family growing up. That, in their mind, even a horrible family is better than no family. It just makes my heart break for them even more.
Sorry, nope, they're all assholes, cut em off. Find people who will be kind to you when they care for you. Trust me, life is FAR too short to put up with any of that.