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Imma put this here…posting website to Facebook?

Do you or do you not? Fiance was looking at our registry and it said only 3 things have been purchased. I forgot to include the website on the invitations (but it was on the save the dates, so…). I'm of the opinion that either people haven't looked at it or they're buying stuff off the grid. That said, should I put the website (with the registry links) on Facebook? I turned off the RSVP option (also cuz we already submitted the head count). Good or bad idea??

Re: Imma put this here…posting website to Facebook?

  • Bad idea.  You don’t brag about a party in front of people who aren’t invited 
    MairePoppyInLoveInQueensahoywedding
  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Do you or do you not? Fiance was looking at our registry and it said only 3 things have been purchased. I forgot to include the website on the invitations (but it was on the save the dates, so…). I'm of the opinion that either people haven't looked at it or they're buying stuff off the grid. That said, should I put the website (with the registry links) on Facebook? I turned off the RSVP option (also cuz we already submitted the head count). Good or bad idea??
    You do not. It is a bad idea.   It is in poor taste and opens the door for drama.

    In regards to a registry, typically in my circle, the registry is used primarily for purchasing shower gifts.  Gifts of cash are the predominant choice for the wedding.

    Focus on the wedding.

    ei34InLoveInQueens
  • downtondivadowntondiva member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited April 2018
    If a guest is unaware of your wedding registry but wishes to give you something, they'll give you a monetary gift. But either way, posting your wedding website on Facebook at this point is really just fishing for gifts-which isn't appropriate- and possibly opening yourself up to drama from those not invited.


    image
  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    No!!!!!

  • Actually, you dodged a bullet!  Registry information should never be on an invitation.  Because that is inferring that a gift is expected.  Yes, most guests do bring/send gifts, but it is rude to have that expectation on the invite. 

    Don't post it on FB either for all the reasons the PPs above said.

    The majority of guests usually give cash/check for a wedding gift anyway.  If people want to buy items off your registry, they'll find it and/or ask you all where you're registered.  Don't sweat it!

    When I got married, only about 15% of my guests gave me a boxed gift.  Everyone else gave me cash/check in the card.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    InLoveInQueensahoywedding
  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    I usually bring a card with $$ to put in the card box at the wedding. Registries aren't that hard to find, but if in doubt, I would ask. 

    Another vote for not putting the website or registry links or anything wedding related on FB.
                       
    ei34
  • ei34ei34 member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I’m confused about your timeline.  How close to the wedding are you that you’ve already submitted a headcount?  Have you had a shower yet? That’s typically when the registry is fulfilled.  

    Either way, don’t post your website on Facebook.  Unless all of your FB friends are invited, it could make people feel bad.
    InLoveInQueenscharlotte989875
  • eileenrob said:
    I’m confused about your timeline.  How close to the wedding are you that you’ve already submitted a headcount?  Have you had a shower yet? That’s typically when the registry is fulfilled.  

    Either way, don’t post your website on Facebook.  Unless all of your FB friends are invited, it could make people feel bad.
    Her other post says the wedding is next week.
    ei34
  • Did you have a shower? Otherwise why would you expect people to buy off the registry? In my area, people don't bring physical gifts to weddings. Also, the last three weddings, I googled for shower information. 
    ShesSoColddowntondiva
  • Just gonna throw out another option...

    There’s a way on FB to set custom privacy settings for posts so only specific lists of people see them. FI and I both created these FB lists including only invited guests and have posted the wedding website on a couple of occasions so that only these friends could see the posts - right around the time we sent out STDs and then a few days before the room block “closed.” People will not know that they have been added to a FB list nor will they be able to see others on the list. 

    That said, if your main concern is the registry and not actually getting folks information, I’d just relax. We’ve gotten a lot of stuff from the registry that wasn’t marked as purchased, plus as other PPs have said, many people wait until the last minute to make their purchases. 
  • MobKaz said:
    Just gonna throw out another option...

    There’s a way on FB to set custom privacy settings for posts so only specific lists of people see them. FI and I both created these FB lists including only invited guests and have posted the wedding website on a couple of occasions so that only these friends could see the posts - right around the time we sent out STDs and then a few days before the room block “closed.” People will not know that they have been added to a FB list nor will they be able to see others on the list. 

    That said, if your main concern is the registry and not actually getting folks information, I’d just relax. We’ve gotten a lot of stuff from the registry that wasn’t marked as purchased, plus as other PPs have said, many people wait until the last minute to make their purchases. 
    Disseminating information regarding guest hospitality is different, although I am still not a fan of collective FB posts.  I think some things are best sent individually/privately through blind links. 

    Sending information regarding registries, particularly days prior to a wedding, is simply tacky and has no appearance other than gift grabby.  I second the advice to "relax".
    This. Also, the people on that custom list won't know they're on it, so it will give the appearance that the information was put out there publicly to the couple's entire friends list. That would rub me the wrong way, even if I was invited. 

    OP, don't sweat the registry. A lot of people buy things last minute or send a gift after the wedding. If they wanted to buy a registry gift, most people know to Google one of the names + registry, or check the standard stores most people register at. I sent gifts to several long-distance friends for their baby showers without getting the invite with the registry list. Most people prefer to give cash or a check for a wedding (less for them to carry in, less for you to carry out!), and you can use that for anything off your registry you didn't get. Plus most stores offer a discount if you buy registry items after your wedding date!
    To the bolded, I should have specified better - they don't know they've been added to one, i.e., they don't receive a notification nor can they see who all is on it, but they still can see that the privacy is set to custom, just as anyone can see if any other post is set to public or friends only.
     
    But custom list aside, at least personally this does not bother me at all, invited or not. I actually kind of like seeing old friends' wedding posts/websites even though I know I'm not invited. It's a glimpse into one of the (presumably) happiest milestones of their lives, and I enjoy that. I can definitely see how more traditional facebook friends would be off-put, but at least in my circle sharing on wedding websites on FB is common and well-received. 

    That said, I definitely get the concern about uninvited guests showing up if too much information is public. But at least for ours, we could specify which pages were public vs. private/only unlock-able with an access code. So any details like time/location/directions as well as the registry were all on lock-down, but "our story," "meet the bridal party," etc. were all open. So even though we only sent out the FB post to those invited, they still had to unlock the website with the code on the STD to see the rest of the information. 
    swishswoosh
  • Thanks for all the help! I will not be posting the website, mostly because I have no idea how to hide the venue and registry info from non-guests. I had similar sentiments to ahoywedding, just wanted some of my other friends to see it! But that's what posting the wedding photos afterwards is for ;) Less than a week away!! Ahhhhhh!!
    justsie
  • MobKaz said:
    Just gonna throw out another option...

    There’s a way on FB to set custom privacy settings for posts so only specific lists of people see them. FI and I both created these FB lists including only invited guests and have posted the wedding website on a couple of occasions so that only these friends could see the posts - right around the time we sent out STDs and then a few days before the room block “closed.” People will not know that they have been added to a FB list nor will they be able to see others on the list. 

    That said, if your main concern is the registry and not actually getting folks information, I’d just relax. We’ve gotten a lot of stuff from the registry that wasn’t marked as purchased, plus as other PPs have said, many people wait until the last minute to make their purchases. 
    Disseminating information regarding guest hospitality is different, although I am still not a fan of collective FB posts.  I think some things are best sent individually/privately through blind links. 

    Sending information regarding registries, particularly days prior to a wedding, is simply tacky and has no appearance other than gift grabby.  I second the advice to "relax".
    This. Also, the people on that custom list won't know they're on it, so it will give the appearance that the information was put out there publicly to the couple's entire friends list. That would rub me the wrong way, even if I was invited. 

    OP, don't sweat the registry. A lot of people buy things last minute or send a gift after the wedding. If they wanted to buy a registry gift, most people know to Google one of the names + registry, or check the standard stores most people register at. I sent gifts to several long-distance friends for their baby showers without getting the invite with the registry list. Most people prefer to give cash or a check for a wedding (less for them to carry in, less for you to carry out!), and you can use that for anything off your registry you didn't get. Plus most stores offer a discount if you buy registry items after your wedding date!
    To the bolded, I should have specified better - they don't know they've been added to one, i.e., they don't receive a notification nor can they see who all is on it, but they still can see that the privacy is set to custom, just as anyone can see if any other post is set to public or friends only.
     
    But custom list aside, at least personally this does not bother me at all, invited or not. I actually kind of like seeing old friends' wedding posts/websites even though I know I'm not invited. It's a glimpse into one of the (presumably) happiest milestones of their lives, and I enjoy that. I can definitely see how more traditional facebook friends would be off-put, but at least in my circle sharing on wedding websites on FB is common and well-received. 

    That said, I definitely get the concern about uninvited guests showing up if too much information is public. But at least for ours, we could specify which pages were public vs. private/only unlock-able with an access code. So any details like time/location/directions as well as the registry were all on lock-down, but "our story," "meet the bridal party," etc. were all open. So even though we only sent out the FB post to those invited, they still had to unlock the website with the code on the STD to see the rest of the information. 
    What about friends/family that aren't on FB? I have lots of friends/family who for various reasons aren't on any sort of social media or who go by a nom de plume on social media that they don't want other people to know. Are you going to make them miss out because they can't access your super exclusive FB page? 

    Also, keep in mind that people have been giving out registry information and buying wedding gifts for many years without the internet and social media. 
    ahoywedding
  • I put our wedding website on our invitations. I didn’t think it would matter because it has all the information about hotels, things to do, registry ect.  I asked for RSVPs via website. I just couldn’t bring myself to waste paper. 
    Is this going to be a hassle? Advice? I didn’t even think it was inappropriate to put it on there. 
    I don’t even want programs. I made all my own flowers. I’m almost to hippy status. Lol. 
  • I put our wedding website on our invitations. I didn’t think it would matter because it has all the information about hotels, things to do, registry ect.  I asked for RSVPs via website. I just couldn’t bring myself to waste paper. 
    Is this going to be a hassle? Advice? I didn’t even think it was inappropriate to put it on there. 
    I don’t even want programs. I made all my own flowers. I’m almost to hippy status. Lol. 
    Hi. The last response to this post is from 6 months ago and is generally considered a dead or zombie thread. Best to start your own post so you can get the most accurate, up to date, info. :)

    but since you asked, I think it is fine to list a website with the invite as long as it contains more info besides just registry information. Since you already have (mailed?) the invitations, I wouldn’t worry about it. It just becomes gift grabby when people only list registry info.
    knottieeb2d30ca982dbcd0MairePoppy
  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 City By The Lake member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    I wouldn't bat an eye if there was a website on an invitation. 
    Just for aesthetics I wouldn't put it on the front, but on the back, sure, especially if you're trying to save paper. It's taking the place of card insert that would traditionally hold the info. 
    ________________________________


    knottieeb2d30ca982dbcd0
  • My daughter and SIL got mostly gifts, not money. Most people bought stuff off of their registry well in advance of the wedding, yet they didn't put any info about this on their invitations.

    I have given wedding gifts on several occasions to people that I wanted to honor, even though they had small weddings to which I was not invited, or family only things at City Hall. It is very, very easy to find registry information.
  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    Hi New People. This thread is considered a zombie thread because it is over 6 months old. Dates appear under the posters screen names. OP hasn't been back since April. You are welcome to start a new thread on this subject. 


                       
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