New to the boards-My partner and I are getting married in October and we are so so excited! There is kind of a lot of back story here, so bear with me:
My fiance and I started dating about 2 years ago, and caused a weird ripple through my group of friends, 2 in particular. One, we'll call her "M," has been dating a friend for a while (this relationship is how M became part of the group and she became close with everybody pretty quickly). M has been rude and hostile towards my fiance since before they even met (she told her girlfriend that I said something comparing my friend and fiance's teaching abilities when I never said that AT ALL)-she's also known as a pot stirrer within the group. When we told this group about our engagement, M said nothing (all she said was 'can i turn the music back on or...?') and when she left didnt say a thing to me or my fiance.
Another friend, A, has been distant since my fiance and I started dating. She and I have been close for many years, even driving across the country together to see Cher in DC. We have a lot in common, but she has always been one to keep a distance/avoid social interactions at any cost. This is all fine. However, she has also been rude and cold to my fiance since we started dating. I finally asked her about it and she told me she doesn't particularly like him because "he is just a lot." She couldn't explain this further. My fiance has tried to get her to come over for dinner on multiple occasions because she lives 5 minutes away (walking) and she always has a reason not to come. I know that I have put the effort in, but it's not reciprocated. She wasn't at the group gathering when we announced, so I tried on multiple occasions to find a time to hang out. We ultimately needed to cancel the plans we made because she was sick. My fiance and I were ready to put it on social media so I sent her a text to let her know that I wanted to tell her in person, but didn't want her to find out any other way but from me. Her response: "oh somebody already told me, and I wanted to tell you congrats in person, so congrats!" A few days later I let her know that it was bothering me that somebody told her and asked her who it was, and her response was "oh I dont feel comfortable telling you that. It would put me in an uncomfortable situation and put me in the middle of this." To me, she already put herself in the middle by letting me know that somebody spilled the beans. What's more, I'm bothered by the fact that she knew and didn't reach out-I know if I found out a good friend was engaged, I would have! Not once did she ask for more details about the proposal or the event itself.
Which leads me to my quandry-do I invite them? I'm feeling more inclined to invite A, as we were close for so long and I feel like I might regret not. M, on the other hand, I have no interest in having there. I don't want people there who aren't entirely happy for us and who wish they were any other place. On the other hand, I don't want her girlfriend to be in the middle or feel disrespected, because she and I are still relatively close.
THere are other layers to this that I'm happy to share, but any immediate thoughts?