Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

Father/Daughter Dance Complicated...

My father passed away a little over 5 years ago. I was very close to my dad, and still love him very much. However, I also have a step father who I love dearly, and who has helped raise me since I was 8 years old (he's also my sister's dad, who is my maid of honor). He's like a second father to me. There are so many wedding traditions that revolve around the bride and her father. I already am planning to walk down the aisle solo, to honor my dad, and then have a moment with my mom and stepdad at the end of the aisle before joining my fiancé at the arbor. But for the father daughter dance I'm at a loss. If it was up to me, I would skip the entire tradition as a whole, but my fiancé really wants to have a mother/son dance, and I worry it would be weird for him to have a dance but not me. For those that have been in a similar situation, how would you navigate this? 

Re: Father/Daughter Dance Complicated...

  • My father passed away a little over 5 years ago. I was very close to my dad, and still love him very much. However, I also have a step father who I love dearly, and who has helped raise me since I was 8 years old (he's also my sister's dad, who is my maid of honor). He's like a second father to me. There are so many wedding traditions that revolve around the bride and her father. I already am planning to walk down the aisle solo, to honor my dad, and then have a moment with my mom and stepdad at the end of the aisle before joining my fiancé at the arbor. But for the father daughter dance I'm at a loss. If it was up to me, I would skip the entire tradition as a whole, but my fiancé really wants to have a mother/son dance, and I worry it would be weird for him to have a dance but not me. For those that have been in a similar situation, how would you navigate this? 
    I’m really sorry for your loss. 

    I think its totally fine for your FI to dance with his mom and leave it at that if you want to; but if it we’re me I wouldn’t ask my FI not to dance with his mom if I couldn’t dance with my Dad. That’s not really fair to him and it definitely won’t be weird if he dances with a parent and you don’t. 

    I also think its it’s fine if you wanted to spotlight dance with your stepdad or with your mom. Or again, no one at all. 

    These are traditions but not rules, which means you can adapt them so they work for you! If you don’t want to do a parent dance you definitely don’t need to, be if your FI wants to I think you need to work with him to find a compromise that works for both you. 
    short+sassyShesSoCold
  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle NYC 'burbs member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    What if you danced with your step-dad at the same time your FI danced with his mom? If you're not comfortable with that, you can just let your FI dance with him mom, and have that be the only parent spotlight dance. 
    short+sassyInLoveInQueens
  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold bend over and I'll show ya mod
    Moderator 5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its
    I agree that there is nothing wrong or weird with having a mother/son dance and no father/daughter and I think that might be your best option. That's the option I would go with. 

    Or, you could dance with your mom and/or stepdad to a song your dad loved or something like that. 
    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
  • I agree with PPs. You don't have to dance with anyone, but your FI can still dance with his Mom without it being weird. Do what feels best to you. Again, I'm sorry for your loss. Hope you have a beautiful wedding.
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