Today's bonus Prudie: Whoa

Re: Today's bonus Prudie: Whoa

• charlotte989875 member

  

  March 2019

  Woah is right. 
  
  But LW says she really wants to have the baby and I think that’s the only thing that should matter in the decision to have or abort the fetus. 
  
  I think family counseling would be a good idea. The children (and husband) have gone through a terrible trauma and need love and support. But LW and the husband also have a right to have a child they want, too. I think a lot can happen in 9 months and making a decision now in the midst of their grief should only happen after a lot of talk, and some help from a professional. 

  Report6 Reply
• mrsconn23 member

  

  March 2019 edited March 2019

  She doesn't have to tell the kids tomorrow.  If she just found out 'a week ago' that means she's got at least 6ish weeks until she's out of 1st tri.   That's enough time to start counseling and settle into a new 'normal'.  Also, getting a baseline on the kids with a counselor will help LW and their dad break the baby news. 
  
  Furthermore, this could be a good thing as it's something to look forward to for the kids. And even if it's not, her stepchildren do need to understand that life does move on eventually and in ways they cannot control. 
  
  Also, she needs to tell her husband.  They were trying to get pregnant, so this isn't an out of left field 'surprise'.   I mean, unless he's done a complete 180, he probably wants this baby too. 

  Report8 Reply
• ShesSoCold mod

  

  March 2019

  Oh man. What an awful time for such a wonderful thing.
  
  LW obviously needs to talk to her H. Like, last week. Then they can go from there. 
  
  But yeah counseling for sure too.

  
  

  Report1 Reply
• short+sassy member

  

  March 2019

  I'm surprised she is considering aborting a child she really wants.  And that she's worried her H will feel the same way.  It seems extreme, just because the timing is bad.
  
  She needs to tell her H and then they can work out a plan to tell the stepchildren.  I agree that family counseling sounds like a great idea.  Hopefully the stepchildren are already receiving grief counseling.
  
  Plus, by the time the baby is born, the grief won't be as fresh for everyone.  A new baby might even be the kind of change that helps its siblings transition from their grief to the future and that life does go on, even with the loss of a loved one.  
  

  

  Report1 Reply
• VarunaTT member

  

  March 2019

  I know I'm cycnical AF, so I'm trying to take this at face value. 
  
  At this point, I would tell her husband so he knows and get him on board with finding therapy for everyone, with the counselor in the know so that it's handled with compassion and grace, both the lead into, the telling, and whatever aftermath may occur.
  

  �

  Report2 Reply
• Casadena member

  

  March 2019

  This is an incredibly dramatic reaction to the situation she presented.  I guess I don't have a lot of experience with blended families, but wow.  I support any woman's right to have or not have a child, but I feel like there's got to be something missing from this story if she feels that abortion is the only fair thing to do. 

  Tell H asap (I cannot believe she waited a week anyway) and get everyone to counseling.
  

  Report4 Reply
• kvruns member

  

  March 2019 edited March 2019

  S+S my thoughts exactly. That's a big reaction to something that they wanted and were trying for. I mean what if the woman had died the day before the baby was born or the day after - would she suddenly put that baby up for adoption to help the kids grieve the loss of their mother? 
  
  edit wrong name

  Report1 Reply