Dear Prudence,
I’ve been with my boyfriend for about nine years. We have lived happily together for eight of those years and have a house, our own careers, and a daughter together. We have never been big on “tradition,” like doing something just because everyone else is doing it or because society expects us to. Which brings me to the topic of marriage. It’s something we’ve discussed as a hypothetical, and we always fantasize together on where we would get married or how the ceremony might go. I’ve brought up jokingly that maybe I should propose to him, and he says that I can’t do that because it would steal his thunder (also jokingly). My question is: How can I bring up marriage in a more serious manner? Or should I keep waiting patiently? The last thing I want is for him to feel pressure from me, especially after we have both fought through pressure from our families and friends. I feel like in the beginning of our relationship we both hated the idea of marriage because it was what we were “supposed” to do. But if he proposed today, I would absolutely say yes.
—Waiting for the Ring