Dear Prudence,
I’ve been dating a great guy for over two years. It’s pretty serious: We live together, and I can see a future for us. But there’s one thing that really makes me question what that future would look like. He seems to equate having a younger wife with a certain level of success. For example, if I mention someone who is 20 years older than his wife or girlfriend, he’ll say, “Well, he did well.” Or he’ll talk about senior leaders at his company and mention that they’re on their second wife who is 10 years younger, as if that’s relevant to anything.
I’ve told him this bothers me and makes me question our future. I’m only two years younger than him! He’s very ambitious, and these comments make me feel like the moment he hits his career peak in his 50s, he’ll dump me for some younger woman. I know he’s a little superficial, and so am I, to be honest—I take good care of myself, and barring any major health issues, I’ll probably be in better shape than he is at that age! But I’d like to avoid a divorce in my 50s. Otherwise, he is a kind, caring, and generous partner whom I trust and love. Is this a deal breaker? Should I run? I’m 33, and especially if I want kids, it’s prime time for finding a long-term partner.
—Ageist Boyfriend