Dinner or No Dinner?

Re: Dinner or No Dinner?

• MyNameIsNot member

  

  April 2019

  knottie09457e5772314d70 said:

  Our venue is very rustic and my cousin is a caterer so we planned to do BBQ and side dishes since that's what she primarily serves. Our guest list has grown to 212 just family and 299 total with friends. Is it outrageous to try and have a full dinner for that many people? We haven't chosen a time so maybe an earlier wedding and appetizers instead of a full meal? I don't know what to do, but it's beginning to sound VERY expensive.

  Start with your budget and headcount. Is your cousin experienced in catering food for that size event? Even with experienced professionals, feeding 50 people is very different from feeding 300. If they knows what they're doing, they can quote you a price per person for the meal. Even though (especially because) thy are family, you need to sit down and write out a contract for their responsibilities and costs. Will cousin be providing just food, or do thy have the dishes and serving staff? Will they clean up, or do you need to hire someone for that? Does your venue have a kitchen large enough for all the cooking, or will cousin need to prep off-site and move the semi-prepared food? Does cousin have employees, or are you expected to hire help for the kitchen? Last (and probably most importantly), are you ok with having your cousin working all day during your wedding, or were you hoping to have them as a guest? Avoid hard feelings over misunderstandings later by spelling it all out, in writing, now. 
  
  Once cousin spells out the costs, you can figure out what works best. FWIW, most appetizer food is more labor intensive than a simple BBQ meal, and probably won't save you much money. In many cases, apps are more expensive than a simple meal. If you're really tight on the budget, you could just do cake and punch, but that means doing it at 2 or 3 in the afternoon, and it means your reception won't last more than about 2 hours. You'd spend the whole reception just trying to say hello to 300 people. 

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• charlotte989875 member

  

  April 2019

  knottie09457e5772314d70 said:

  Our venue is very rustic and my cousin is a caterer so we planned to do BBQ and side dishes since that's what she primarily serves. Our guest list has grown to 212 just family and 299 total with friends. Is it outrageous to try and have a full dinner for that many people? We haven't chosen a time so maybe an earlier wedding and appetizers instead of a full meal? I don't know what to do, but it's beginning to sound VERY expensive.

  Those numbers don’t seem crazy for a large wedding and if your cousin is a professional caterer with a staff they should be able to plan for that many. If your venue can accommodate that large of a group and has appropriate staff that shouldn’t be a problem. 
  
  If you want don’t want to serve a full meal then you need to make sure your ceremony and reception do not overlap with a meal time. Everything would need to start and be finished before/after/in between meal times. If there is overlap then you would need to provide food appropriate for the time of day.  

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• climbingsingle member

  

  April 2019

  Does your cousin actually own a professional catering company with employees that work for her? Or is she going to be tackling this all on her own?

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• knottie09457e5772314d70 member

  

  April 2019

  She owns a company, but I'm unsure at this time how many employees she has. She has done events and weddings before.

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• MesmrEwe member

  

  April 2019

  Plan to pay your cousin "as-if" it's full price plus tax and gratuity, she's in business, not running a charity.  If 300 is too big for her, then you find someone who can do it, it's not personal, it's business, let her come and enjoy the day off instead of working your event as a vendor.  Next, our wedding was 400+ and we served a full catered meal that was hot-hot.  As others mentioned, if you decide not to serve a full meal, it is rude to have an event that goes across a mealtime and not properly host your guests.  Ceremony at 2, cake & punch to follow or ceremony at 8 cake & punch to follow.. 

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• ILoveBeachMusic member

  

  April 2019

  Agree with PPs. You don't have to have a full dinner as long as the reception doesn't overlap a meal time. If you go with cousin, check at all the questions that @MyNameIsNot gave you.

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• ei34 member

  

  April 2019

  It's not outrageous to serve a full meal to 300 people.  I've been to weddings that size and enjoyed five courses.  It is outrageous to ask guests to travel and not feed them appropriate meal for the time of day.  Ditto every last one of @MyNameIsNot questions to ask your cousin or any other caterer. 
  

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• LondonLisa member

  

  April 2019

  Caterers are like builders. Some people specialise in bespoke back garden sheds, whilst others are building massive office blocks. Both are called builders, but their ability relies on their experience. You wouldn't ask a shed-builder to build a skyscraper. So I can't tell you if your caterer cousin can do this, without knowing what her background and experience are. Asian weddings usually have over 1000+ people and there are caterers that specialise in that. There are also caterers that focus on small intimate dinners for 30 people. 
  
  But if budget is such a massive issue, which I am hearing from your posts over and over again, consider having a 2pm wedding, and a celebration 3-6 with a light buffet and drinks. That way you don't have to do a massive bar, full meal and other costly additions. You will be just as married as someone who had a three course sit down. 

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