About 15 years ago I found out that I have a half-brother who is only six months younger than me. An angry uncle blurted it out during a family squabble. I insisted on meeting him, and we have kept in touch over the years through social media and the occasional letter. It has also brought my mom and me closer together, since I now understand more about why she divorced my father. It was over 40 years ago, but my father still seems very cavalier about how the situation has affected other people in the family. My brother lost time with his grandparents, brothers, sisters, and other loved ones because of my father’s disappearance. My dad went on to have two children with his second wife; they are both about 15 years younger than me. While my stepmother knows about my brother, my half-siblings still don’t know he exists. My father and stepmother are no longer together, but I’m still close with her. I often want to share things on Facebook that have to do with my “secret brother,” like wishing him or his son a happy birthday, but I stop in fear that my other half-siblings will see and question who he is. I was told not to tell them when I first found out, and I’m positive they still don’t know about him. I’m also concerned that this may come up after my dad passes—and they’ll get angry I never told them. I’m really stuck. I feel like he must think he is the black sheep of the family.
—Secret Brother