Break-up has turned my sister in to a bridesmonster.

mrsconn23 · May 2019

Dear Prudence,

My sister has never had a romantic relationship that ended well. Most recently I objected to her dating my fiancée’s brother, but she told me it was none of my business. A month before my wedding, they broke up spectacularly. I really don’t care who cheated or who got drunk with whom—I am tired of it spilling over into my life. My brother-in-law has been very quiet and personally apologized to me. My sister got drunk at my bridal shower and picked a fight with my sisters-in-law. My mother and I laid down the law; my sister sulked. She burst into tears and said that we didn’t care about her broken heart. I am ready to tear my hair out. My mom tells me to give my sister “time.” But she only dated him for three months. I have been planning my wedding for three years! We are paying for everything ourselves. My sister and brother-in-law are both in the wedding party. Can I just ban my sister for my peace of mind?

—Bridesmaid Brouhaha

charlotte989875 · May 2019

No, but you can ignore your sisters behavior and focus on your wedding. She shouldn’t have gotten drunk and gotten into it with your SIL, and she should apologize. But beyond that she really hasn’t done anything wrong. she can date who she wants (she doesn’t need your approval and you don’t get to object) and she’s the one that has to deal with the consequences. But drop the judgmental “none of her relationships have ended well” and focus on your own.

missJeanLouise · May 2019

At a certain point you just have to put your head down and keep moving forward. My sister makes questionable life choices but I stopped giving her advice years ago (because it was always the same; quit drinking, get your own apartment). As far as the wedding goes, I would alert the staff and be ready to have her ejected if she gets out of control.

short+sassy · May 2019

I'd lay down the law for the sister again that, although I'm sorry her heart is broken and things didn't end well with the FI's bro, she needs to be civil and polite to him and his family at the wedding. Or she will be escorted out. Because there will NOT be a repeat of the bridal shower incident.

Obviously the LW shouldn't kick her out of the wedding. What a terrible idea and thing to do to one's sibling. And, while I would also inwardly side-eye the major angst over a 3-month relationship, it's not for the sister to judge. If the sister says she is heart-broken, then that's how she feels and the LW should be sensitive to that. Just not at the cost of the sister mistreating other people and/or causing scenes.

banana468 · May 2019

No you can't ban your sister.

But you can simply move on and tell HER that she's in charge of herself and making a spectacle means she's removed herself.

Don't have a head table, don't force group events and move on. When I was in BIL and SIL's wedding I wasn't hanging out with the GM. It wasn't a thing. So don't overthink the wedding party portion but DO tell your sister that your BIL is going to be your family too and she's got to learn to be civil in future family situations.

MesmrEwe · May 2019

Let's see - I wonder who the cause of these spectacular breakups might be... js..

The only question is the sister going to stir the pot and put Sister with FBIL for the processional and recessional...

Break-up has turned my sister in to a bridesmonster.

Re: Break-up has turned my sister in to a bridesmonster.

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