Just need to vent a bit...
I'm getting married in England next June, but I'm way ahead in the planning for a number of reasons. Largely, this has been useful; unfortunately, it means one very opinionated bridesmaid is getting a bit greedy (?) for lack of a better term.
The BMs have picked out their own dresses, and I am paying for them. We live in the UK, and my understanding is that the bride paying is tradition here (though, not required). I found a website that I've used before, picked a number of dresses, put them into the site's "showroom", and my BMs voted. The dress that was chosen was the only one all 4 liked...perfect. Makes life easy. One particular bridesmaid (let's call her A) then informed me that she liked the dress (hence why she voted on it), but liked a different one a lot better so was going to change her vote to force them all to pick the other one. Not quite the democracy I was hoping for, but I managed to get her to just go with it. I won't be ordering them for awhile, but voter's remorse wasn't going to work here.
Recently, FI went for drinks with A, and after a few drinks (there is a potential separate issue that her sister is working out how to address) A starts asking about flowers. I told her that the bridesmaids will be carrying large bouquets of baby's breath, which I have always loved. She made a disgusted face, and told me she wanted a better bouquet. I told her I couldn't afford anything else for the BMs (there are 4 in total), and I really liked the look. Her response was, "well, what are you carrying?!" "White peonies." "Why do you get to carry those, and I'm stuck with the shitty bouquet?" I just stared at her blankly to avoid the phrase, "because I'm the bride". "Well, I'll wear a flower crown" "No, because that would look a bit stupid since nobody will be wearing flower crowns [apart from maybe a tiny one on my 3 year old niece]." Another disgusted face.
Then she got mad at FI and me because we're not having an open bar after dinner simply because we can't afford it. Note: We're having a prosecco / beer reception, some for toasting, and wine with dinner.
After all this, FI and I have made a pact not to go out for drinks with A--just for coffee or dinner, something where alcohol isn't the main event.
I don't want to bring this up again because odds are she has no memory of it (i.e. the issue her sister needs to deal with), and frankly, I'm a wimp when it comes to confrontation, and I worry I will acquiesce to avoid problems. She really is a lovely friend, and I have no intent or interest in kicking her out of the wedding (something I know a lot of brides ask about here). I also know she won't act on any of this behavior---my other BMs and MOH will shut it down, but it's just really frustrating. I've never seen this kind of behavior out of her, and I'm really upset that "because I'm the bride" and "It's not your wedding" even popped into my head.
Hope all this makes sense. I get the feeling I'm rambling a bit.
Thanks for letting me have a vent.
ETA: I know there is a big point r.e. cash bars and etiquette in the US, but I've not been to a single open bar wedding here in the UK.