First off, apologies for the spammy-looking username, I can't figure out how to change it!
I'm a month out from my wedding, and I'm seriously considering firing a bridesmaid - should I do it? Here's the details:
She has flaked out on a ton of wedding-related things, which wouldn't be an issue except she said she would be there for them. The Thursday night before the bridal shower (in a city 5 hours away; I was driving her up with me and my fiance Friday early afternoon) she asked if we could leave a few hours later than planned, as she couldn't get out of work to leave early (this after telling me weeks earlier that she was taking the day off). When I told her we couldn't, she looked at bus/train tickets but ultimately decided not to come late Friday night - her husband then texted me to say she has anxieties about traveling alone. This will become important soon.
For my bachelorette party (in the city we live in), we went for trapeze lessons. This bridesmaid decided that she would simply watch rather than participate, which is totally fine! The morning of, she texts to say she's not coming, but will meet us out for dinner later that evening as planned. So, while we weren't planning on her actually participating in the lessons, she had said that she would come to be there and enjoy hanging out with us while we tried something new and fun.
Last night (exactly 1 month before the wedding), she texted me to say that she's going to be rooming at the hotel with another friend, as she had a lot going on and just didn't book anything sooner. Also, she hasn't bought tickets to travel yet, and the flights are very expensive now. She also mentioned that her husband is coming up separately, as they don't have a cat sitter (?!) so he will be traveling up the morning of the wedding and returning home that evening. I'm concerned about this because, as mentioned with the shower, she has anxiety about traveling alone, and I'm afraid since she hasn't even purchased tickets yet.
Finally, she has not yet paid me back for the bridesmaid dress, which she promised she would, and I even had to take her measurements and order it for her because she consistently did not even attempt to look into ordering the dress. She (again, 30 days from the wedding) has yet to even try the dress on, despite my reminders that she needs to do so.
Am I in the right for asking her to step aside as a bridesmaid? How should I go about this?