Dear Prudence,
My husband and I are adopting rather than having biological kids. His whole family thinks the decision is up for debate, but his sister recently crossed a line. I don’t know if it’s because of her personal obsession with her infertility, but she told me adoption is a mistake and we “can’t possibly love” an adopted child. I assume she forgot I was adopted by my stepmom when I was 3. She is the only mother I have ever known since my other mother died when I was a baby. I told her I hope she never becomes a mother if her ability to love her children is that shallow. I thought she was going to slap me. My husband pulled his sister away and told the family the subject is closed.
We have been asked to apologize, but my sister-in-law refuses to do the same. My husband reminded his parents that I am adopted, and my mother-in-law said, “That’s beside the point.” My husband is ready to just not talk to his family anymore. They are difficult, but I am not comfortable asking him to do this. I really don’t know how to solve this. Can you help?
—Adoption Antagonists