Dear Prudence,
Recently I looked up a professional acquaintance from several years ago, and he was immediately interested in talking to me. When we worked in sales together, we would take an afternoon off every other month or so to go drinking. I switched jobs and almost never drink anymore. He apparently developed a problem and ran a high-paying sales management career off the rails. After a divorce, rehab, and more than a year of unemployment, he has a midlevel sales job again and is getting his life back together. I missed all of this when we were not in contact. I like hanging out with him, and I want to be supportive of him now.
The problem is that he frequently wants to talk about his sobriety, but he still smokes pot, has the occasional beer, and claims to have quit smoking cigarettes but lights up in front of me. He says he never did hard drugs but has to get regularly drug-tested. I’d never mention these inconsistencies, but he keeps bringing them up. What is the best response? I am not too invested in our friendship, so my options are pretty open.
—Working Relationship With an Addict