Is a 4 hour reception including Viennese too short?

Re: Is a 4 hour reception including Viennese too short?

• MobKaz member

  

  September 2019

  knottie85f87ccb86fd7936 said:

  Our reception will go from 8-12, with the Viennese hour included in that time frame. Our wedding isn't until next year, so we don't yet know when we'll have dinner, cake cutting, etc. Two of the photographers my fiancé and I have met were surprised to hear this schedule. They advised us to ask our venue for more time, as this wouldn't leave enough time for guests to dance and enjoy themselves.
  
  This is both confusing me and making me nervous. My brother got married at the same venue I'm getting married at, 5 years earlier and as far as I can remember 4 hours with a Viennese was more than enough time. Most weddings I go to people want to leave before the reception even ends!
  
  Should we be concerned if our reception is 4 hours with the Viennese included?

  What time is your ceremony? 
  

  If you go immediately from your ceremony to the reception, I would think you would need to begin dinner almost immediately upon arrival.  If all goes smoothly, dinner should be completed by 10 PM.  That does still allow for two hours.  If guests leave "before the reception ends", you could have guests leaving shortly after dinner. 
  

  
  

  Report0 Reply
• knottie85f87ccb86fd7936 member

  

  September 2019 edited September 2019

  Ceremony begins at 2. We are having a cocktail hour from 6:30-8 so starting dinner early isn't an issue. We decided on an extended cocktail hour because the venue puts out a gorgeous spread and we know that the cocktail hour is everyone's favorite part, at least in our circle of friends and family it is. We do have the option of putting that extra half an hour back into our reception time though. We just assumed a 4 hour reception was more than enough time, but now we're being told otherwise by these photographers!
  

  Report0 Reply
• MyNameIsNot member

  

  September 2019

  How long is your ceremony? What are people supposed to be doing from the end until 6:30? 4 hours doesn't seem too short, but if you're expecting people to get there at 2, no one is going to stay until midnight. That's way too long of an event. 

  Report3 Reply
• bubblylove member

  

  September 2019

  It's best to avoid a gap between events. You are asking people to commit 9 hours with travel likely for your day. That's too much. Can you move your ceremony time back to go directly to cocktail? 
  
  Also, four hours is completely fine for a reception though I think 90 minutes is long for cocktail hour - especially if there aren't full chairs for everyone. 

  Report0 Reply
• levioosa member

  

  September 2019

  knottie85f87ccb86fd7936 said:

  Ceremony begins at 2. We are having a cocktail hour from 6:30-8 so starting dinner early isn't an issue. We decided on an extended cocktail hour because the venue puts out a gorgeous spread and we know that the cocktail hour is everyone's favorite part, at least in our circle of friends and family it is. We do have the option of putting that extra half an hour back into our reception time though. We just assumed a 4 hour reception was more than enough time, but now we're being told otherwise by these photographers!
  

  So there is a gap from 2:45-6:30? You need to rearrange your timeline if there is a gap. Guests should not have to wait around after the ceremony for the reception to begin. They don’t need to “freshen up” and I guarantee that being dressed in wedding attire is not the time to go sight seeing. 

  
  

  
  

  

  Report2 Reply
• MobKaz member

  

  September 2019

  knottie85f87ccb86fd7936 said:

  Ceremony begins at 2. We are having a cocktail hour from 6:30-8 so starting dinner early isn't an issue. We decided on an extended cocktail hour because the venue puts out a gorgeous spread and we know that the cocktail hour is everyone's favorite part, at least in our circle of friends and family it is. We do have the option of putting that extra half an hour back into our reception time though. We just assumed a 4 hour reception was more than enough time, but now we're being told otherwise by these photographers!
  

  Nope.  The issue isn't the short reception.  Your issue is the hella long gap between what should be your ONE event.  The last thing I want to do AFTER waiting around for 3-3 1/2 hours  is to now hang out for another 1 1/2 hours before getting dinner.
  

  Report2 Reply
• banana468 member

  

  September 2019

  The way I'm reading your timing breakdown your event starts at 6:30 and goes until 12.   That's a 5.5 hour reception because the reception includes cocktail hour.  That should be a non-issue.
  
  BUT, if your ceremony starts at 2 and the reception doesn't start until 6 THAT is a big gap of time for your guests.   What can you do to adjust your ceremony time to be closer to 5 or start your reception earlier?  What are you hosting in that gap if neither appeared to be options? 

  Report1 Reply
• downtondiva member

  

  September 2019

  The length of your reception is entirely normal. When I got married, the ceremony was at 2:30, cocktail hour began around 3, then the reception was from 4-8. 
  
  As others have pointed out, what I find concerning is the huge gap between your ceremony and reception. It's really not fair to your guests to have so much time between the two.  Can you have your ceremony later or your reception earlier?

  
  

  Report0 Reply
• maine7mob member

  

  September 2019 edited September 2019

  Every wedding I have ever been to that had a gap like that resulted in people either not attending the ceremony at all, then showing up for the reception OR people leaving the reception early.
  
  I'm guessing you're getting married in a Catholic church, and can't move the wedding time because it would interfere with the Saturday evening mass. If this is the case, do not try to have a sit-down dinner reception. Instead, do a light cocktail buffet from 3-5, then a heavier dinner buffet with dancing from 5-7. Or have the ceremony earlier and do a brunch or tea party type reception. But don't make your guests chill out in their wedding clothes for 3 hours.
  
  ETA another thought: will your church (still assuming you are Catholic here, so forgive me if I've got it wrong) allow a wedding after the evening Mass? I know some do. It makes for a late reception, and you wouldn't have time to put up many flowers, but this is an option  if you really have your heart set on a night reception.
  
  

  Report0 Reply
• ei34 member

  

  October 2019 edited October 2019

  My cocktail hour (also everyone in my circle's favorite part, a real feast) was also 6:30-8 with reception 8-12 that included Viennese Hour.  It's absolutely enough time.  Our only timeline differences are that my ceremony (a Catholic mass) began at 5.  Having the ceremony at 2 is the only problem with your timeline, and it's a big one. No one will care how impressive the cocktail hour spread or Viennese Hour are if there's that kind of gap.
  
  Edit spelling 

  Report0 Reply
• MobKaz member

  

  October 2019 edited October 2019

  maine7mob said:

  Every wedding I have ever been to that had a gap like that resulted in people either not attending the ceremony at all, then showing up for the reception OR people leaving the reception early.
  
  I'm guessing you're getting married in a Catholic church, and can't move the wedding time because it would interfere with the Saturday evening mass. If this is the case, do not try to have a sit-down dinner reception. Instead, do a light cocktail buffet from 3-5, then a heavier dinner buffet with dancing from 5-7. Or have the ceremony earlier and do a brunch or tea party type reception. But don't make your guests chill out in their wedding clothes for 3 hours.
  
  ETA another thought: will your church (still assuming you are Catholic here, so forgive me if I've got it wrong) allow a wedding after the evening Mass? I know some do. It makes for a late reception, and you wouldn't have time to put up many flowers, but this is an option  if you really have your heart set on a night reception.
  
  

  Respectfully, my biggest pet peeve is people assuming this gap "belongs" to Catholics.  Yes, trying to get a Mass later than 3:00 PM is a struggle.  However, I have declined early afternoon weddings with later evening receptions that were NOT Catholic or even religious for that matter.  I do see your disclaimers and apologies, but this is one issue that really "gets my goat".

  
  

  OP, the bottom line is that it is never appropriate to create a gap and inconvenience your guests.  There are always choices.  One is when the host chooses to be rude and place the "blame" elsewhere. 
  

  Report2 Reply
• banana468 member

  

  October 2019

  MobKaz said:

  maine7mob said:

  Every wedding I have ever been to that had a gap like that resulted in people either not attending the ceremony at all, then showing up for the reception OR people leaving the reception early.
  
  I'm guessing you're getting married in a Catholic church, and can't move the wedding time because it would interfere with the Saturday evening mass. If this is the case, do not try to have a sit-down dinner reception. Instead, do a light cocktail buffet from 3-5, then a heavier dinner buffet with dancing from 5-7. Or have the ceremony earlier and do a brunch or tea party type reception. But don't make your guests chill out in their wedding clothes for 3 hours.
  
  ETA another thought: will your church (still assuming you are Catholic here, so forgive me if I've got it wrong) allow a wedding after the evening Mass? I know some do. It makes for a late reception, and you wouldn't have time to put up many flowers, but this is an option  if you really have your heart set on a night reception.
  
  

  Respectfully, my biggest pet peeve is people assuming this gap "belongs" to Catholics.  Yes, trying to get a Mass later than 3:00 PM is a struggle.  However, I have declined early afternoon weddings with later evening receptions that were NOT Catholic or even religious for that matter.  I do see your disclaimers and apologies, but this is one issue that really "gets my goat".

  
  

  OP, the bottom line is that it is never appropriate to create a gap and inconvenience your guests.  There are always choices.  One is when the host chooses to be rude and place the "blame" elsewhere. 
  

  Agreed! 
  
  I loved it when a wedding venue tried to throw the blame on the church as being inflexible when I asked if they would start to host at 3 or 4 in the afternoon and the venue said no.   Let me get this straight: The church is offering me times throughout the morning and until 2 PM and you have two options for me: AM or PM.   Please tell me again how it's the church that's being inflexible??? 

  Report3 Reply
• maine7mob member

  

  October 2019

  Not "blaming" the church, nor suggesting it is inflexible. I posted to suggest a workaround in case the bride was Catholic.
  
   Faith comes first in my book. I apologize for offending those who were offended.

  Report1 Reply
• MobKaz member

  

  October 2019

  maine7mob said:

  Not "blaming" the church, nor suggesting it is inflexible. I posted to suggest a workaround in case the bride was Catholic.
  
   Faith comes first in my book. I apologize for offending those who were offended.

  Appreciate it.  It does not offend me per se; I just get defensive because all too often any time lapse in between a ceremony and reception was literally labeled "the Catholic gap".  Gaps are not exclusive to Catholics; they belong to anyone who does not take their guests into consideration.  I understand your response and intent.  It is those assumptions that always get the best of me. 
  

  
  

  Report0 Reply