Your neighbor sounds like a tattletale busybody who needs to be ignored.

mrsconn23 · October 2019

Dear Prudence,

We were recently informed by a neighbor that two frequently unsupervised neighborhood siblings (who often engage in annoying but not malicious behavior) stole squash from our garden last summer. She reports they were looking around, grabbed them, and ran, which makes me think they knew it was wrong. We know the family isn’t hurting for food, and we’d be happy to share our harvest with them if they would ask, but we would like to address this. We don’t really know their parents, but we do know where they live. What would be the best way to approach this?

—Neighborhood Kids Stealing Produce

MissKittyDanger · October 2019

Ignore neighbour. BUT if it bothers LW, they could mention something in passing - like "hey if you ever want something from our garden, we usually have a pretty good harvest. Just let us know and we can pick something for you"

banana468 · October 2019

If the LW can't prove it then whether or not I'd address it really depends on the dynamics of the neighborhood and the parents. If I thought I trusted the neighbor and could have a conversation with the parents I may say, "It was brought to our attention that Frick and Frack were playing in the garden and took a couple zucchini. We aren't upset but I do hope that you'll speak to them about this. If they are interested in some of our garden they are welcome to come over and help work for a bit for some fresh veggies."

But if the neighborhood lady is a busy body and the parents think their kids do no wrong then I'd probably leave it alone.

charlotte989875 · October 2019

Ignore it unless you see these kids do it again. If you do, tell them you’re happy to share but they need to ask you first. If it continues, talk to the parents.

mrsconn23 · October 2019

LW seems to judge these parents and kids since they're 'annoying' and 'unsupervised'. Plus she says the family isn't 'hurting' for food. (Which how do you know? The kids 'look' fed? Food insecurity is so insidious because no one talks about it due to shame and people can appear to be healthy/well-fed, while not getting enough food.)

But LW has no proof except for busybody's statement and who knows their motivation for telling LW. Furthermore LW didn't notice the missing veggies and didn't catch these kids in the act, so they have nothing but a big game of telephone started by nosy nelly neighbor. Also, if LW has enough harvest to share...then why not walk over to the neighbor's and offer to give them some of it? If the kids were in LW's garden...offer to pay them a couple dollars to pull weeds? There's so many things LW could do to build a bridge instead of running off at the mouth with secondhand information.

STARMOON44 · October 2019

Omg last summer? Do nothing. Say nothing. Move on.

VarunaTT · October 2019

Honestly, it's a squash. And LW obviously didn't even notice at the time.

I guess if LW is veklempt enough about it, they can bear trap their garden to catch the kids and teach them a lesson. I don't think there's any good way to handle this until LW can catch the kids in the act. And it's silly to care this much and that's as someone who had massive gardens for years.

climbingsingle · October 2019

Let it go.

MissKittyDanger · October 2019

STARMOON44 said:

Omg last summer? Do nothing. Say nothing. Move on.

Fuck. I missed that part.

levioosa · October 2019

Let it go. It was a squash. It’s not like the kids cleared them out. I had a friend with an avocado tree. Her neighbor would jump the fence and completely empty the tree of all avocados. Now THAT is something to be pissed about.

drunkenwitch · October 2019

So the kids took one squash, last summer? Allegedly?

Move on.

downtondiva · October 2019

For now, let it go. It happened last summer, and as far as I can tell, you only have your neighbor's story to go by. The fact that the neighbor didn't tell you until recently makes me wonder if she either made it up or is just looking to cause trouble.

If the kids steal from your garden again, then it might be time either nicely tell the kids they're welcome to the veggies but need to ask first, or to have a polite conversation with the kids' parents. And even that should be done only if you catch them yourself. Don't go by your neighbor's word.

short+sassy · October 2019

This whole letter is so bizarre! Even if it is just squash, to accuse anyone of stealing is a serious claim to make. And the fact that it didn't even happen recently is even worse.

Not to compare children to animals. But I'd be a jerk if I scolded my dog for chewing one of my shoes last summer. Even if the kids did it, they may not remember. Or it was so long ago, to get "caught" now has almost no impact to them.

The LW needs to let this go. They can keep an eye out and, if they witness these children in their yard, go and talk to them. Not even about the theft, unless it is the middle of happening again. They can ask them to stay off their property. They can be extra kind (if they wish) and offer them some items from the garden. With an invitation that, if the children would like more at another time to come talk to them, but please don't just take anything from the garden.

short+sassy · October 2019

levioosa said:

Let it go. It was a squash. It’s not like the kids cleared them out. I had a friend with an avocado tree. Her neighbor would jump the fence and completely empty the tree of all avocados. Now THAT is something to be pissed about.

I went to college near the commercial avocado farms in Escondido, CA. There are trees right by the main road. Avocados easy to pick from the low branches. Avocados on the ground.

And a stern sign on just about every section of fence that taking any avocados is a crime and perpetrators will be prosecuted, lol.

I dunno. Neighbors who steal avocados might come home to guacamole smeared all over the knob for their front door!

MissKittyDanger · October 2019

short+sassy said:

levioosa said:

Let it go. It was a squash. It’s not like the kids cleared them out. I had a friend with an avocado tree. Her neighbor would jump the fence and completely empty the tree of all avocados. Now THAT is something to be pissed about.

I went to college near the commercial avocado farms in Escondido, CA. There are trees right by the main road. Avocados easy to pick from the low branches. Avocados on the ground.

And a stern sign on just about every section of fence that taking any avocados is a crime and perpetrators will be prosecuted, lol.

I dunno. Neighbors who steal avocados might come home to guacamole smeared all over the knob for their front door!

Most cops/lawyers won't do it, but I know it's still a fine worth offence in Canada - the argument is "theft is theft" {and often a thing between neighbours}

MyNameIsNot · October 2019

I think the statute of limitations on stolen garden produce is about 3 days. It was one (alleged) time last year. Assuming the kids did do it, they're not making a habit of it.

banana468 · October 2019

I completely missed that this was from LAST YEAR.

LET. IT. GO.

sparklepants41 · October 2019

So, the kids might have taken a squash last summer?

<<sarcasm font>>: Look up the market rate for one squash, adjust for one year's inflation, plus any interest said squash might have accrued, and send them an itemized bill.

Seriously, LW. Let it go.

kerbohl · October 2019

You know what I would do? I would take over an extra squash when my harvest is ready and ask if they want it. No mention of what happened last year or anything. Because I always have too much produce, and if I can get rid of it to someone who wants it, that's awesome. And I have literally told people to come on my property and take certain things if they want it. But then again, I'm very free with my harvest, except for my mulberries and raspberries - those are MINE!

MesmrEwe · October 2019

FWIW - put up a trail camera if these squash are that precious... The reality is LW didn't notice, and it was over a year ago - let it go!

Jen4948 · October 2019

At this point, let last summer go.

If you're worried that these kids will steal from your garden again, fence it and/or put in cameras to capture the thefts. That's the time to address it with their folks-if and when it happens in the future.

short+sassy · October 2019

A friend from HS went to college in IL. He lived in a residential area where everyone, including himself, had a garden. During tomato time, everybody had far more tomatoes than they needed or could give away.

So the lighthearted joke in that neighborhood was to leave a bag of tomatoes on your neighbor's doorstep.

CharmedPam · October 2019

Ha! I missed this one.

i’m going to offer up the same advise for the candy thief's in that office from last week. laxative. Wait - how old are these kids? Nevermind. My advise still stands.

Your neighbor sounds like a tattletale busybody who needs to be ignored.

Re: Your neighbor sounds like a tattletale busybody who needs to be ignored.

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